As we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence actually liberates others.
-Marianne Williamson
I’m a fan of Marianne Williamson and the wisdom that flows through her and out in the form of human words. Some deep and profound stuff escapes her eloquent lips and it gives me the shivers. By writing my letter back to my younger self in the Pay it Forward series volume 2, I finally liberated myself from my fear of my past experiences that were holding both my daughter and I back and I took a large gulp of fresh air and stepped boldly out into the light.
In doing so, I gave others permission to do the same.
I gave other women permission to tell their stories, warts and all and to liberate themselves from fear just like I had done.
What a journey it has been ever since.
So, as Dr Christiane Northrup says (I’m also a big fan) “0ften, the only thing standing between you and a better, healthier, more abundant life is simply giving yourself a permission slip to be who you truly are meant to be”
AND I know I want to be who I am meant to be from now on…
How about you?
What can hold us back?
This nonsense, that’s what…
Humans are wired to seek permission because when we were kids, we needed permission from parents, teachers and other elders to do things, say things, even think things. So when we grow up, we seek permission from our bosses and those in authority roles. Our minds are conditioned to ask for permission.
However, to unlock your full potential, you must learn to give YOURSELF permission and to become the owner of your life.
When you take complete ownership of your life, you are in charge of your life experiences. There is no space for blame or excuses.
Many people give the keys to their life to other people or they themselves become the prison guard of their lives.
They forget that they have the key to unlock their full potential.
Here are my 5 tips for giving yourself permission…
*** Give yourself permission to be happy
Happiness is a skill and you deserve to be happy. In order to develop the happiness skill, you can practice gratitude and mindfulness. Helping others and being kind are other ways to be happy.
There is no mileage in waiting to be happy
Looking for future happiness when you meet your soulmate, have your dream home, dream career etc, etc is just a waste of your precious life! Another idea is to create a bucket list of the life experiences you want to have and live those experiences.
Nobody else will give you permission to live your life the way you want.
*** Give yourself permission to fail
Allow yourself to be imperfect. We are all simply put, perfectly imperfect. Yet all the newsflashes, magazines, social media feeds show us the faces of successful people. It seems like they are the perfect people living a perfect life with zero flaws. But in reality, they are like you and me. They just keep on learning from failures. And all failure is a form of learning. Success comes after muchismo failure. If you let go of the fear of failure, you will not be afraid to explore the possibilities of your life. You will become limitless because you know that making mistakes speeds up your learning and results in growth.
*** Give yourself permission to succeed
Success is subjective. You have the power to define your own criteria for success. It could be making shedloads of dosh, having a family and kids, having a smile on your face at the end of the day, having the freedom to travel the world or taking small steps towards your goal. No matter what success means to you, you must own it and live up to it. Write your own definition of success and move in its direction. In order to make success a habit, set yourself behaviour-based goals instead of outcome-based goals; e.g if you want to lose weight, define your success by making the right food choices rather than the numbers on a set of scales. When you succeed at behaviour-based goals, your outcome-based goals will follow. Take a small step forward today…then another…then another…
*** Give yourself permission to be yourself
The first step to being yourself is to accept yourself. It means not only accepting the good parts you love but also accepting the flaws in you and let’s face, it we all have flaws ( go back to my point about being perfectly imperfect). The reason we all get used to putting on a mask is that it is our instinct to seek acceptance in communities. In times gone by, we could only survive if we were part of a group. The outcasts were rejected and even cast out and they did not live long on their own. Nowadays we can all find our “tribe”; those who we get on with and identify with. You will always find like-minded people if you express yourself as you are. Let go of all the emotional baggage. Forgive yourself and move on. All you have is today. You get to define your future and it can only be great if you stop hurting yourself with the pain of the past.
Above all, do not be afraid to change. Raise your standards and if you have to, let go of your past identity and change the people around you. Say no to the people or experiences that do not appeal to you and set boundaries.
Life is too short to be inauthentic.
*** Give yourself permission to feel mojo less sometimes
We don’t always feel on top of the world and it’s OK. I repeat because I know that for many of us, it is hard to believe.
It really is OK to not feel OK.
As humans we have a kaleidoscope of emotions and they are all beautiful; the good, the bad and the down right ugly. They help us to deal with hard situations. When we become aware of our emotions we will return to our default positive state by practicing the skill of being a happy person. Take the time you need and don’t feel guilty.
Still waiting for that permission slip to live your life? boldly?
Give YOURSELF permission to succeed, to fail, to be yourself, to be happy and to feel mojo less in order to achieve your full potential and live a fulfilled life. Let me know how you get on.