There’s no doubt about it: sex after 50 rocks! But I wouldn’t expect you to just take my word for it, or my sex advice, so I’ve asked around. Now I can say with certainty, straight from the mouths of sexually-fulfilled people over 50, that sex after 50 rocks and maybe I can inspire you to embrace the sexual advice of these experts.
They say 50 is the new 30. I say no thanks! I wouldn’t want to be 30 again if you paid me. Sure, I had more energy then and I could still eat what I wanted without gaining weight. But in my 30s, I was in the middle of a divorce, raising a baby and reinventing a career. Who even remembers what sex was like then? Life was busy! Pleasure was a good night’s sleep or hiring a babysitter so I could go and watch TV undisturbed at my best friend’s place. So sex at 30 wasn’t so great… why does sex after 50 rock?
#1 Reason Why Sex After 50 Rocks: Self-Confidence
At 50, you know yourself better than you ever did before. You have figured out who you are as a human being, what you like in life and from life. You focus on the things that are important to you. That new self-confidence equips you to live in the moment and embrace your choices — and those choices include the way you embrace sex and intimacy.
#2 Reason Why Sex After 50 Rocks: Spontaneity
Georgia just turned 50 and has been married for over 25 years. She reveals that not having kids around has opened up the spontaneity page in her marriage. She raves about spontaneity: it’s the reason she and her husband have ramped up their sexual activity. “It lets you be mischievous and naughty,” says Georgia. “We couples who have been married for so long know that any feeling of playfulness is welcome.”
#3 Reason Why Sex After 50 Rocks: No Pressure
Robert is liberated and has discovered that sex after 50 is the most fulfilling he has ever had. “When you’re younger,” he says. “There’s so much emphasis on the physical part of sex and so much pressure to perform, being a man. Now I’ve found out that lasting longer doesn’t necessarily mean enjoying sex more, for you or your partner. Sex after 50 is more about connecting. Even if it’s casual sex, the focus has shifted from performing to relating.”
#4 Reason Why Sex After 50 Rocks: Self-Pleasure
June married young and was a virgin. At 50, she and her husband concluded that their lack of interest in sex was just the tip of a much bigger iceberg. At 51, June found herself divorced, with no understanding of sex and overwhelmed by her freedom. Sex after divorce was a nightmare. So she decided to buy some books on sexual fulfillment and experimented with self pleasure, something she had never contemplated before. Understanding herself and her sexuality opened new doors and with this new-found knowledge about herself, June began experiencing sex without guilt and as an expression of both partners’ enjoyment.
#5 Reason Why Sex After 50 Rocks: No Worries
Even though George is in his mid 40s, he is dating an older woman and loves to give sexual advice to younger men. He was disappointed that all his relationships ended because he didn’t want to have children, even though he was upfront about this right from the beginning. Even women who said they didn’t want children ended up hearing the ticking of the biological clock. George met an older woman at a social event a few years ago and is still involved with her. The best part of their rockin’ sex life together, says George, is the clarity she brings to the relationship. He believes that when procreation is no longer in the picture for a woman after 50, intimacy can take on new meaning for adult partners, leading to an astounding sex life.
#6 Reason Why Sex After 50 Rocks: Spiritual Sex
I had a long discussion with Wade about the meaning of spiritual sex. He said that spiritual sex means expressing spirituality during sex and it is this that has made his sexuality after 50 rock. Spiritual sex, says Wade, is an expression of sexuality that you can have only after you understand yourself and your partner in a profound, almost mystical, way. Being older is a requirement. Spiritual sex transcends the physical act and may not even involve sex at all. It’s a way of connecting and merging souls, experiences and deep knowledge of the other person. It takes two to tango, says Wade, smiling at his own cleverness. Spiritual sex is not for the young or the faint of heart. It involves surrender and trust — definitely for people over 50.
#7 Reason Why Sex After 50 Rocks: Orgasm
Julia claims that ever since she turned 50, she can reach orgasm, even multiple times, more easily. These more fulfilling experiences are because she has become more selective in choosing her partners. Since creating boundaries around her sexual partners, the trust she places in them has allowed her to relax and be more present in her body. “I spend more time getting to know my partners now,” Julia says. “And have strong boundaries about when it’s time for sex in a relationship and when it’s not. Before, sex happened in the early stages of getting to know someone. Now, it’s postponed until after I’ve discovered more about my partner’s personality.” Because boundaries in relationships have brought Julia deeper connections, leading to more orgasms, she is definitely endorsing sex after 50.
# 8 Reason Why Sex After 50 Rocks: More Time
Dennis’ sex life has definitely improved since he turned 50, simply because he has more time. A 58-year-old businessman, he says he has paid his dues working long hours and most weekends. He’s now in the fortunate position of being able to prioritize and can spend more time cultivating hobbies and dating. “Having more time to pursue my interests has made me a more interesting person, including in the dating world and having more time to date has opened up a more enjoyable sex life after 50.” While Dennis makes it clear that he is not willing to sacrifice his new found fulfillment in sex in favour of monogamy, he is willing to continue to invest time in his self-development.
# 9 Reason Why Sex After 50 Rocks: Clarity
“Clarity!” screams Megan with excitement even before I have a chance to finish the question. “Clarity has skyrocketed my sexual pleasure! Clarity all around. Mine, his, about who we are, what we want, where we’re going. About why we want certain things. Clarity that life is short and sex after 50 is mind-blowing. “The moment I got clarity,” says Megan, “my life transformed and my sex life became a lot more interesting!”
The best part about writing this article was the honesty and authenticity of the people I interviewed. They were willing to share their experiences and their sex advice so that others could understand why their sex lives had improved. It is refreshing to know that it isn’t just wine that improves with age. Sex after 50 is something to look forward to — unless you’re already experiencing it now!
Are You Where You Want to Be?
Monica Magnetti is an Executive Consultant and Personal Life Coach who helps her clients connecting with their intentional power as they envision and design their future success, both in their personal and business life.
Originally published at www.huffingtonpost.com on September 10, 2013.
Originally published at medium.com