One thing I know for sure. People will always want to change you. Even if they say that they don’t. They really do.
Why?
Because they want you to bend to their personality, their temperament, their own style, maybe even their own need for drama. I really have no idea. For some reason, I do feel that it makes them feel better about themselves. It ‘normalizes’ them. And yet, here’s the thing, there’s no such thing as ‘normal.’
We want to define ourselves by terms and words that may make us ‘feel’ better, and yet it may be making us feel worse!
Look. I get it. We’re all trying to connect. To get closer.
However, I know that as soon as someone says to me: “You’re different,” or “You haven’t been the same lately,” or “You know, when you say this or that …” or “Stop saying …” you get where I’m going with this … then someone wants to morph you into something, and/or figure you out through their eyes (not yours).
Personally, I don’t feel I need to explain why I’m feeling a certain way. Unless of course I want to talk about it.
Every day we are different people whether we realize it or not. We have a different perspective when we learn something, experience something new …we’re growing all the time. Or at least I hope so.
Have you ever noticed how many people offer their opinion when you haven’t asked for it?If you ask someone if everything is ok, and they reply; “yes,” then I hope the person would leave it at that. Do they?
When someone persists in knowing what’s up, then the conversation just shifted to them. Have you ever felt that you now need to reassure them that you’re not ‘feeling differently?’ So now you’re simply trying to appease them – that’s ridiculous.
It takes time tolearn about ourselves. When someone projects their observations onto us, then it can throw us off.
I think that people rush into getting to know one another, rather thantake the time to better understand what makes us tick. Think about it. No two people are the same. So, when someone doesn’t ‘get you’ then you can understand why. You’re one of a kind.
That’s profound.
We join tribes, communities, groups so as to feel more connected to like-minded people. We’re social beings. However, I encourage you not to morph into someone else’s idea of you. Bring yourself wherever you go.
The one thing I would like to reassure you with, is that it’s ok that people may not get you or understand you. You don’t need to prove anything to anyone other than yourself. I’m not sure you really believe that.
As imperfect as we all are, we need to be perfectly ok with that. The imperfections that we have allow us to be more compassionate human beings.
When people don’t get you, that’s ok. It’s not about you anyway. It’s about them.
So, the next time someone states something about you, and you don’t want to invite any further conversation around it, say; “That’s an interesting perspective,” or “That’s interesting, “andleave it at that.
Go be YOU!