The Golden Age for women entrepreneurs has finally begun. Enterprising females are equipped with inspiration, know-how and inner grr to expand their opportunities. The rate of women entrepreneurs has been growing at a percentage at least double that of their male counterparts. The 2016 BNP Paribas Global Entrepreneur Report found that companies helmed by women entrepreneurs had 13% higher revenues than those run by men and finished 9% above the average for all entrepreneurs surveyed. Yet women have been conditioned to think they are not capable as men when it comes to launching and growing business.
The mindset of the 17th century still lurks in the heads of some men and women alike. Women are not given the benefit of the doubt that they can do the same job as good or better than their male counterparts. The irony is that the further women had progressed into your career, the more opportunities for the impostor complex to rear its head.
In 1978, clinical psychologists Dr Pauline R. Clance and Suzanne A. Imes coined the terms “Impostor Syndrome” to described they found in numerous high achieving women lived with a fear or belief that they didn’t deserve their success, a persistent fear of being exposed as a “fraud”, attributing their achievements to luck, generosity or naivety of others. In 1993, Clance conceded that impostor syndrome as a uniquely female problem has been incorrect as males in were just as likely as females to have low expectations of success.
You can never eradicate the feelings associated with Impostor Syndrome. However, you can learn to dance with it, combat it and break through it quickly to rise again. Here are nine ways to curb these feelings in a healthy, proactive way.
The most important step is learning how to dance with the impostor. You know what the feeling is called, you know others that suffer from it, you know a little bit about why you feel this way. Invite it in and remind yourself why it is here and what it means. View it as a friend and when it rears its ugly head, and it will, take a deep breath, pause for a minute, put a smile on your face and say, “Welcome back old friend. I am glad you are here because it means I have reached a point of success. Now, let’s get to work.”
Investing time and energy in to celebrating your accomplishments is a resourceful way of reflecting on all the hard work you have put in to achieve your success. Embrace the fact that you got yourself to where you are, you earned your stripes and your accomplishments are the evidence that your ego is looking for.
Asking yourself quality questions enables you to identify what is rightfully yours. Squash negative self-talk by asking quality questions — “What evidence exists that you are any less qualified than anybody else to do this work? Who are you to take away the experience for another human being? What evidence exists that you are just as qualified.” List 5 things. When you identify the worst thing that could happen if it didn’t work, eliminates the guess work and creates perspective.
When you hear the whisper inside your head, it’s time to reframe your thoughts to move into your authentic confidence. Dare to believe someone when they tell you how remarkable you are and rise to the occasion by saying ‘thank you’.
Updating your language with more confident, assertive statements creates a circuit breaker within your brain. When you repeat repeatedly, you start to believe in what you are saying with ease and grace.
Self-acceptance is the key. Being clear about your standards and making progress, not perfection, allows you to contribute and be your type of valuable. You don’t have to be Picasso to be leave your imprint, however when you share your insight, knowledge and wisdom you enrich the lives around you.
You often hear people talking about taking responsibility for your failures yet the same applies with your successes. If you feel that you are undeserving, list all the key things in the past 12 months that you have accomplished.
Reframe failure as feedback and explore the lessons and use them to propel you forward. Remember, self-doubt is the proof of your humanity.
Too often people fall into the trap of comparing our insides with others outside. The “if only” comes out when you hear yourself say things like, “If only I could speak the confidence that Julie does when on stage”, or “If only I was as artistic as Zoe when she pulls together her launch”, or “If only I could be more like Zak when it comes to making quick decisions”.
As humans we all make comparisons. However, in a world governed by digital media, we do it more now than ever. People continue to showcase the best aspects of their life and you are drawn in to the illusion, triggering questioning your own accomplishments. Re-wiring your thinking by being more self-compassionate and adopting positive self-talk will recalibrate the internal compass.
Separating feelings from fact is crucial. There are times you will feel stupid and it happens to everyone from time to time. Just because you may feel stupid doesn’t mean you are.
Adam Grant, in his book Originals, describes two kinds of doubt. Self-doubt, which causes you to freeze up, and Idea-doubt, which can motivate you to work on refining, testing or experimenting with a good idea. Turn self-doubt into idea-doubt by telling yourself that this is a draft of an idea, and you are just not there yet.
Henry Ford once said. “failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently”. Rather than beating yourself up for being human, look for the opportunity – the learning value from the mistake – and move on.
If you have ever thought to yourself, “One of these days people will realize l don’t know as much as they think”, then you are in good company.
Famous actors, CEO’s, and changemakers are most likely to encounter the impostor syndrome. Success is synonymous with coming face-to-face with self-doubt. It doesn’t matter who you are, impostor feelings can strike at any time. It affects some of the world’s most celebrated people.
Facebook’s COO Sherly Sandberg has said, “There are still days l wake up feeling like a fraud, not sure I should be where I am”. The Harry Potter actress and UN ambassador, Emma Watson has repeatedly admitted she feels like an impostor. In his book “The Icarus Deception”, Seth Godin wrote that he still feels like a fraud despite having published a dozen best sellers.
When you feel like a fraud, you are doing something right. Remember, you have got this.
Angela Kambouris is a highly-valued leadership coach and business leader having spent over 20 years in the field of vulnerability and trauma. She is super-passionate about unlocking human potential to deliver extraordinary results and has spoken on stages and worked with thousands of people in the areas of self-development, leadership, mindset, human behavior and business. She has master-minded with leaders and expert authorities in personal development and business all over the world.
Originally published at leadersinheels.com