Community//

Other people liking you is a bonus, you liking yourself is the real prize

But what if you don’t like you?

When this golden nugget of truth materialised in front of me on social media I was glad for the reminder. I did a quick check, kind of like looking through the oven door to see if the cake’s rising, and discovered yes I still liked imperfect me. It was good to know!

It’s nice to be liked by others but it truly is what we think about ourselves that matters.

But what if you don’t like you? Or what if there are parts of you that are difficult for you to accept?

When clients struggle with this I encourage them to observe, and then challenge, their thoughts about the things they don’t like about themselves. Is it true that this is something worthy of dislike? Is it a feature that could be accepted, liked or even loved?

Whether it’s an aspect you’d like to change or something that can’t be changed at all… could you accept, like or love it now?

For example, I’m not a thin person. At all. I’m mostly in proportion but I carry a lot of extra weight on my tummy. I used to dislike this part of my body. So I decided to rethink it. It occurred to me, for the first time ever, that my tummy was healthy, beautiful and had never let me down. I know that last one might sound a weird thing to think about a tummy but I was trying to come up with all the good things I could about it!

From that moment I’ve felt peace, acceptance and gratitude for my larger than I’d like it to be tummy.

It doesn’t have to be physical but if there’s anything at all that stops you from liking you… take a look at those self-critical thoughts and lovingly challenge them. Because that’s what it is – thoughts.

It’s possible to reach a place of acceptance, peace, or even joy, over your previously hard to like parts… to enable you to accept and like all of you, just as you are.

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    People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.

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