No matter how much I unravel and seek to reveal my inner workings and driving forces, there are always deeper layers for me to explore. Yesterday I was reminded that I could lean even more into opening my capacity to receive.
My husband came and gave me a hug and he started to give me a beautiful back-scratch (something we both enjoy!). Immediately my hands went up to his back and I started to give him one in return, at the very same time.
He told me to stop, and just enjoy it for myself. He said it’s ok to simply receive, feel how good it feels, without always having to give it right back.
I’ve done a lot of work to reveal and open my capacity to receive, and I welcomed this invitation to go even deeper into those layers of my inner self – those beliefs and blocks that stop me from fully and deeply letting things in. In that moment with my husband, it felt challenging to simply sink into and allow the feeling of being spontaneously pampered without also needing to give something in return.
For many of us women, the ability to simply just receive without any need to “return the favour“, “look after others first“, or give something back is deeply ingrained. We often adopt and play the role of primary giver in our families – as daughters, sisters, wives and mothers.
In order to experience more of ourselves, more depth to the truth of who we are that lies behind the stories, identities and masks that we have adopted, we have to be open to truly letting stuff in. We have to be open to receive. And it’s not just the back rubs and compliments, our capacity to receive is much broader than that. How about:
- Receiving our dreams, visions and soul led missions?
- Receiving fully the oxygen each inhalation brings, and allowing it into the core of our cells?
- Receiving our goals, allowing them to truly land for us (bigger than we imaged!)?
- Receiving inspiration and intuition the moment that it nudges us?
- Receiving the insight and clarity on the blocks and limiting beliefs that holding us in habitual patterns and repetitive cycles?
I am grateful for the experience and wisdom my husband shares with me, the big and the small. I know that there are always more layers to the internal work, no matter how well things may be going.
For me, Forest Gump’s famous quote, “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get” feels more like “Life is like a many layered onion, there’s always another layer underneath“. I keep peeling back the layers. Sometimes it makes my eyes water and sometimes it’s downright pungent, but always in the centre is the yummy baked sweetness.