The excitement, anticipation and awe that have filled the last weeks preparing for GG’s first birthday have been mostly indescribable.
They take me right back to one year ago, anxiously awaiting her arrival, the days leading up to and the moments that immediately preceded her birth. Packing our bags, eating dinner out for the last time just the 2 of us, driving to the beach that last night, waiting for the hospital to call to say we could head in. Driving there at 10pm…Literally every minute of waiting for her to enter this world are so vividly clear.
And then she did. At 1:12am on June 15th 2017, she arrived and everything changed immediately. In the most miraculous, profound way. That moment was one that I don’t think could ever be topped-and yet, I have found over the past 364 days, that each day tops it, and tops it, and tops it…how is that even possible?
That, I have found is being a Mom. It’s watching this being, your being, grow into this smart, beautiful, inquisitive, curious, spunky, funny, magical child. She amazes me on a daily basis (usually more than once).
This past week I knew the emotions would be running high…I mean it’s her first birthday! But the emotions snuck up and caught me in ways I could have never expected (again being a Mom).
And so here they are, the 2 moments that literally stopped me in my tracks this week, and one of which, brought me to (the happiest of) tears.
One part of turning one, at least for my little girl, is getting her the most special outfit, so that she can feel on that day just how special she is. That she stands out and is uniquely different and special from everyone else. So, I asked one of my dearest friends to design a pink tutu for her to don on her special day. Luckily for me, she excitedly took on the challenge. I went to pick it up, and it was as beautiful and perfect as I could have ever imagined, complete with hanger to hang its daintiness on the hook in the back seat, right next to GG’s car seat.
And then we left for our drive home.
25 minutes later, about half way home-I glanced in the rearview mirror about to switch lanes and saw the pink tule shining back at me, hanging proudly in the window.
I thought: I have a daughter who can wear a tutu.
A daughter who is going to wear a tutu.
People driving by our car, may be thinking:
‘her child has a recital’ OR
‘she has a ballerina in that car’ OR
‘she’s headed to julliard’….
Immediately, out of no where, I was flooded with this sense of pride that is hard to articulate, oh the possibilities for this bity being sitting in her car seat! And boy did the tears flow-
The second came as I was waiting in line at Party City, when I noticed that all of the moms at that moment were shopping for high school and college graduations. And I looked down at my tiny beauty and thought, before I know it that will be me with graduation hats, and balloons and signs-beaming from ear to ear with pride, just like they were: that their beloved child has or is about to graduate. One of the most momentous occasions in a child’s life. I thought of all the graduations that were to come…
And so here I am…waiting for tomorrow and filled with so much hope for every day there after. I know that each will only get better, that I have learned for sure. I can’t even imagine when she’s actually in a dance recital or graduating from something…anything, lord get me the tissues now.
This first year has been the best of my life, and from what I’ve learned every year forward will only top this one. That is being a Mama…