About two weeks ago, I came across an inquiry from someone with a very unique pseudonym. This individual stated that they were “concerned” about a family member, who they later indicated was female. They disclosed that this family member had experienced life altering issues in their childhood and early adult life that are “currently a part of her daily life”. As a result, this individual feels like their relative does not qualify to be anyone’s life coach, mentor, or to be an activist or an advocate until she “dealt with her own issues.” This individual elaborated on how they felt that life coaching required a college education and that one could not obtain certification through online classes and call themselves a PROFESSIONAL ANYTHING. This individual mentioned that they “loved the family member very much” and needed me to offer them MY perspective on how to “approach their loved one softly, as to not criticize or upset this family member’s confidence.”
As I pondered on what would be the best response, I made the decision to use MY PERSPECTIVE to address this GAME CHANGER IN QUESTION, instead of the inquirer. Here is my open letter to HER, as well as the game changers of this world that have emerged in the present, and will emerge in the future.
DEAR MS. GAME CHANGER,
First and foremost, I would like to let you know that you are a woman after my own heart. I find it courageous of you to take certain steps to use your story to empower, as well as inspire others through your mentorship and life coaching of your clients, present and those clientele to come. It takes an exemplary amount of vulnerability to disclose certain aspects of your “life altering issues”..ones that others in your shoes dare not speak of, due to the shame they face.
Your relative has stated that in THEIR opinion you do NOT qualify to be anyone’s life coach, mentor, activist or advocate until you “deal with your own issues”. A life coach is defined as “someone who helps individuals achieve personal goals, develop skills and attitudes to motivate, encourage, inspire, as well as provide self-empowerment.” Since you are the PERFECT CANDIDATE based on your background to execute this definition of a life coach, I beg to differ with your relative. Regarding “dealing with your own issues,” I would highly encourage you to consider seeking therapy to speak on your “issues”, but if you have already taken that step, I applaud you. Remember..one cannot pour into others from an empty cup.
Your relative has also elaborated on THEIR opinion that life coaching or anything deemed PROFESSIONAL required a college degree.
Marguerite Johnson, who was sexually abused at the age of eight, and as a young adult was a nightclub dancer, performer and singer, later became known to the world as Maya Angelou, one of the most internationally recognized writers, poets, and civil rights activists. Malcolm Little, a high school dropout who engaged in several illicit and felonious activities, became one of the most influential speakers and leaders of the Nation of Islam, as well as a powerful activist during the civil rights movement as a man named Malcolm X. Anthony J. Mahavoric, by his own admission, left his “chaotic and abusive” home at the age of 17, never to return again. He would later become known as Tony Robbins, a well known motivational speaker, life coach, and mentor…WHO NEVER ATTENDED COLLEGE!
This relative had a problem with your way of obtaining your certification, being that it was through an online curriculum. I say if you’ve taken online courses as a formality to assist you with your articulation of your story, then that is to be admired. If you have, or plan to seek the mentorship of an experienced coach, mentor, etc…I wholeheartedly endorse that. Your heart and intentions are in the right place!
Because your relative disclosed that they “love you very much,” I wanted to inform you that according to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, to LOVE (as a transitive and intransitive verb) someone is “to hold them dear, to feel affection for or desire.” As someone who would seek an outside source UNBEKNOWNST TO YOU to validate their opinion about your life choices in order to feel secure about discouraging you from being a vital asset to change the world, is HIGHLY contradictory from them stating that they didn’t want to “criticize you or upset your confidence.” You may want to let that resonate a little bit. Take your time.
If you haven’t taken the steps already, I urge you to consider taking the NECESSARY steps to create boundaries and distance yourself from this “family member” who spends their days and nights in a state of anonymity behind a keyboard seeking approval from strangers to discourage and tear you down. Also, make plans to exercise the same distancing from anyone…FAMILY, FRIEND, OR FOE…affiliated with this individual as well.
In conclusion, remember that the blessed don’t beef with the miserable, and misery loves company. Do not EVER RSVP to be misery’s company at all! Be ONE LESS PARTYGOER! Some people treat others with kindness…I say for individuals who seek to discourage and destroy you, treat THEM..with BLINDNESS..act like you don’t see them AT ALL! IGNORE THEM!
I hope to meet and collaborate with you one day, but I can’t help but to feel that your story is a DIRECT MIRROR IMAGE of mine! Coincidence, or no?
Signed, Warrior Weezy Li…Strategic Life Coaching Practitioner, Motivational Speaker and Person of Influence…Black and Person of Color, Pro-Choice, Women’s Rights, and LGBTQ Activist and Advocate..The Divine Feminine and Goddess energy PERSONIFIED, THE VOICE and NOT THE ECHO..THE VOICE YOU’LL NEVER FORGET YOU HEARD!