On Being Happy & Being Single

Making Your Life an Adventure

Photo from one of my walks one day.

“Want to grab tea?” he asked.

He was walking toward me near the Flatiron Building. It was near 10PM. Deep in summer. The hot air sticks to your skin. I had been walking for about 45 minutes. Heading home from work on 42nd street, I often preferred the walk. It reminded me of my evening walks in Richmond.

I could never tell you how long I had waited and hoped to move to New York one day. When it happened, it moved with such speed I didn’t know how I would make things work. But, somehow for the things you really want, you somehow find a way.

He was standing in front of me. Dark hair, serious, inquisitive. “Are you a designer? Clothing designer?” he asked. I wanted to laugh. I wish I was a clothing designer. I was wearing black, always black, this loose flowing shirt with a belt, and lace at the shoulders. Flats. Ironically, people rarely wear heels in the city – and I love heels. It’s impractical, so I never do.

“No, no,” I laughed. “A designer, but digital.”

He started to walk alongside me a bit, asking again, “Will you have tea with me?”

New York streets remind me of speed dating. I think because of the way there are so many people, they just ask you out because the chances of seeing you again are so narrow. I politely declined, as it was late and something feels off about things like that. I have no idea if this is a New York thing. There have been so many funny encounters.

A few years ago, I had been heartbroken. It happens. That unbearable pain in your chest. And I wanted, more than anything to be so busy, I wouldn’t feel the pain. But then I decided I had to choose to be happy, even when I was single.

I decided I wanted to really fall in love with — my life. That I would have adventures and live a truly interesting life. I am working on it.

Fast-forward, I am living in New York. I absolutely love it here. It is always so full of life. I feel like I don’t have enough hours to explore everywhere I want to see. And while the cold will take your breath away, after walking so much, it settles into a crisp, welcome breeze with your scarf around your neck. I used to have the same routine every day for years: work, Target (love you Target), home, walk, repeat.

When I came to New York, I felt so alive. Probably because you are trying to survive here (insert laugh). But, there is something wonderful about having adventures every day. Outside your door and less than a mile around you is something interesting, always.

I think love is the most important part of your life and I decided I am okay with taking my time with it. For a long time, I felt bad because I didn’t get married and have kids at the same pace my friends did. But, now getting a chance to have an adventure, I feel so lucky to be free for a moment. There is that part of you that loves the idea of freedom, being untethered and not tied to a person or place. Just as much as there is always that desire to meet someone you fall madly in love with. It takes time I suppose. (At least … for me, hahaha.)

Plus, I am still getting the hang of living in New York, which will be a different post 😉 But for now, it is 12:21 AM, and I can hear the horns beeping in the streets and I love the city lights in the darkness sparkling outside my window. 

The Thrive Global Community welcomes voices from many spheres. We publish pieces written by outside contributors with a wide range of opinions, which don’t necessarily reflect our own. Learn more or join us as a community member!
Share your comments below. Please read our commenting guidelines before posting. If you have a concern about a comment, report it here.

You might also like...


Your Style is Your Self-Brand

by Rani St. Pucchi

How My Life Purpose Gave Me Courage to Be, Do And Create Joy

by MiMi Dabo, MBA, CPA, JD

Sign up for the Thrive Global newsletter

Will be used in accordance with our privacy policy.

Thrive Global
People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.


We use cookies on our site to give you the best experience possible. By continuing to browse the site, you agree to this use. For more information on how we use cookies, see our Privacy Policy.