Do you also sometimes feel like that or maybe most of the time?
I meet a lot of women professionals who suffer from that feeling and that paralyze their life! The fear that you’re not good enough is a fear routine that affects everyone, though it can show up differently for each of us (for some of you, “not good enough” shows up as procrastination/avoidance and not finishing what you start, for some it is going into over-achiever mode, and for others it shows up as continuous comparisons. The way feeling of not good enough can manifest in your life in several ways:
- You very often compare and measure your standards of success against other people, e.g., “So what If I have graduated with a Masters degree, and other people are graduating with PhDs, I am just not smart enough; I will apparently miss the best jobs.”
- You are not fully present at all when you work on something
- You try to do everything but give up everything in the process (was very often myself!)
- You don’t have goals or merely a list of things you aim to achieve. You are continuously stuck and feeling somehow lost (some of the female clients of mine!)
- You think you should be good at everything – well, that’s not a case because you never will!!
Does it resonate with you? Do you see yourself in those situations? If so, ask yourself “For whom actually should I be good enough ?” That question will probably make you put your head down. And the answer should be “Good enough for ME,” of course!!
Well, I suffered from that as well thinking if I’m good enough & know enough to go and teach other women how to play big in their life & business. I continuously compared myself with all the better out there. But when I get beautiful feedback from women who work with me, attend my training/workshops, saying e.g. (a senior leader with PhD & MBA degrees): “Dear Alena, I think I should share with you why I liked your workshop “Breaking the Habits Holding You back from Reaching the Next Level” and you should continue helping other women. Because your workshop was very authentic and the materials were original (I attend so many workshops and training but had not seen what you offered in that workshop). I found a lot of value in your training. Thank you.” , I get confirmation that I’m perfectly enough (and so you are!) and there are many people out there waiting for my message & talents (and yours too!).
We often think that people know already better than us, especially those better educated. But that’s not the case. We all know something, we have different experiences, approach, and attitude to life and that makes us valuable and is worthy of sharing. Embrace it! It all depends on how much power you give to the thought of “I’m not good enough.” The mind will always be afraid, yes, still, but that’s perfectly okay. It doesn’t have to stop you at all.
I achieved a lot of great things, but I was not living as I wanted. The tension in my shoulders never went away. The negative self-talk paralyzed me at times until I believed in my POWER and understood that Life is about progress, not perfection!
So my dear ladies, next time you are tempted to go into “not good enough” mode or any messages that are close to this, here is one simple thing that can replace those statements: “I will discover something if I listen without attachment. Or here are two questions to beautifully ask yourself: “What are my definitions of being “good enough” and “not good enough”? Can I define these?
Feel free to comment below your thoughts on it. And if you want to know more don’t hesitate to contact me anytime or book a complimentary session to address it at https://calendly.com/alenahielema
To your success,