Are you lacking clarity? Getting stressed out? Feeling like you keep running out of time? Or maybe even feeling like you are weighed down?
It’s time to TAKE A LOOK UNDER THE HOOD of what really goes on in your day-to-day life!
Stop blindly stumbling forward.
Start by taking a look at your relationships. Ask yourself these questions:
But let’s backtrack for a sec. Why is it so important to understand your relationships?
They impact your ability to grow and change. They affect your level of clarity, your energy, your motivation, and your emotional state. We don’t operate out of isolated silos; we all have an effect on one another.
Get tired often? Are you easily distracted? Don’t feel like you are fulfilled?
Take a look at whom you are with. What’s your social construct? Why do you do what you do? Why are you with the people that surround you?
If you’re like me, you are constantly heading towards the next frontier and you know you need a tribe that allows you to thrive. You know you need a romantic partner that can support you in your endeavors.
So what can you do?
1) I recommend everyone build a personal board of advisors. Or as my friend, the fabulous Helen Cho, calls it, the Council of the Wise and Good-Looking.
I organize mine into 5 categories: Enthusiasts, Doers, Connectors, Mentors, and Skeptics.
Then there is my favorite non-category, the infamous Energy Vampires. They are time sucks, distractions, and guilt trippers. They are usually easy to identify. Think of people that make you feel heavy, icky, and weighed down. These are energy vampires that feed off others’ energy
Once you organize your social constructs into these categories, you’ll have a bit more clarity on who they are. Now let’s check out your part in all this. Remember, you have the most important role in managing your relationships.
2) Take a look at how to relate to them:
Do you ask your enthusiast for constructive advice you’d be better off getting from the skeptic?
Do you expect a skeptic to cheer you on and are disappointed with their lack of enthusiasm?
Is your social calendar filled with energy vampires, distractions, and time sucks?
What role does your romantic partner play in your life? Who are they in this construct? Does your relationship to this person allow you to thrive?
I know this is a tricky question, but if your relationship feels like a brick tied to your leg, it might be time to move on.
Just like we don’t want to get stuck working on an unprofitable dream, we also don’ t want to stick around in relationships that weigh us down.
Know how to say YES without resentment and NO without regret.
My 4 Step Solution:
Now, that you have clarity and a Council of the Wise and Good-Looking, here are some important ground rules when asking for advice:
Got it? Try it! And let me know how it goes by visiting me at silviachristmann.com!
Originally published at medium.com