Do you ever find yourself blowing up at inappropriate times? Or taking your anger out on family members, coworkers or friends? Ever catch yourself yelling at a radio show or at other drivers?
I hate to admit it…but, I’ve been there.
I remember feeling so angry at work when my ideas were passed over or ignored. Management only listened to me after all of the other ideas failed. And I was even angrier when I wasn’t given credit for the solution I provided! It felt like it was personal.
I also let mounting bills and financial stress strain my family relationships. I was so stressed about finances that I put them before the people I loved.
It was difficult. And I knew I didn’t want to live this way.
Our culture is geared to push forward, make things happen, produce!
All of this outward energy can culminate in a need to force things to happen. Get the promotion at work. Upgrade the phone. Lease a new car. Grab the next opportunity.
We grow up always looking for the next thing.
We forget our grounded center, we lose the essence of who we are. We’re whipped around by stressful thoughts and emotions that are right at the surface, ready to break. And when this is the culture in our life, we are trained to bounce around reacting to life rather than experiencing the vast beauty of it.
If this is your experience I wonder if you can relate to the following:
DO YOU NOTICE FEELING ANY OF THE FOLLOWING:
- QUICK TO ANGER
- PAINFUL JOINTS
- PENT UP PHYSICAL ENERGY
- EXCESS GAS OR TROUBLE DIGESTING
- MENTALLY STUCK OR OBSESSIVE THINKING
- UNABLE TO MAKE DECISIONS
- FEELING LOST OR HOPELESS
- TROUBLE MAKING DECISIONS
DO YOU FIND OTHERS DESCRIBING YOU AS:
- CONTROLLING
- UNFOCUSED
- PUSHY
- HARSH TO EVERYONE
- JOYLESS
- SELFISH
- DIFFICULT TO WORK WITH
If any of that resonates and you’re looking for some ease, here’s are three simple things to incorporate into your life:
3 SIMPLE SHIFTS:
- THREE BREATHS. Give yourself 3 breaths before responding when you’re in a stressful situation. Three inhales, three exhales. Yep. The silence can be uncomfortable at first, but you will begin to notice a sense of groundedness settling into you. Three deep breaths to notice that your spinning mind and emotions don’t control you.
- THREE PAUSES. Schedule 3 pauses during the day. Make sure they are on your schedule. Set an alarm for 10:00, 12:00 and 2:00 to attend to you. If you stick to this schedule, you will begin to ease not only frustration and anger but your emotions and your thoughts won’t be in control. You will. It’s vital to understand your thoughts and emotions are guides to your behavior – NOT the controller of it. Taking these three breaks puts you into the practice of living from the essence of who you are – not from the guides of your emotions and thoughts.
- ONE GRAPEFRUIT. I know. It sounds like an odd idea. But the good things we put into our bodies helps bring balance to our internal chemistry. Chop up some fresh mint and sprinkle it over this juicy bitter for a fresh morning start! This is a great healer for the liver, which is the Organ System deeply affected by anger and obsessive behavior. Or, add grapefruit to a bowl of fresh berries for sweetener and you’ve hit another double duty because berries are also amazing for maintaining liver health. The liver is so important in circulating energy in the body, you really want it to be healthy.
With these steps, you may notice a shift. And so might others around you:
YOU MAY NOTICE FEELING:
- WORK IS MORE ENJOYABLE
- PAIN IS REDUCED OR ELIMINATED
- THE AFTERNOON CAFFEINE JOLT ISN’T NECESSARY
- ABDOMINAL GAS IS REDUCED OR ELIMINATED
- YOU’RE HAPPY
- DECISIONS COME EASILY
- YOU FEEL ASSERTIVE AND SUPPORTED
WHAT COWORKERS AND LOVED ONES SAY ABOUT YOU:
- GREAT LEADERSHIP
- I FEEL HEARD AND SUPPORTED
- EASY TO BE WITH
- FAIR
- ELEVATES EVERYONE AROUND
- DIRECT AND CLEAR
Even though our culture is geared to push forward, we have the choice to maintain balance. And, when we begin to bring balancing practices into our lives gradually, those shifts create bigger life changes. That’s the key. Small, simple practices to start. Three breaths, three pauses, and perhaps grapefruit.
If you want to incorporate a daily practice to maintain peace when frustration arises, check out practices like taiji and qigong. When these slow, meditative movements are practiced with even breathing, all of the other body systems respond creating internal healing and an overall sense of centered stillness and well being. The nervous system, digestive system, cardiovascular system – all of our systems gently come back into balance. It’s a practice that lasts a lifetime and guides us to live a rich and purposeful life.