I started the week with a cycle class at my new gym.
It’s been a while since I took a spin class.
I was intimidated.
When I scheduled the class at the end of last week…
I wanted to start the week off with a bang.
I wanted to put myself first,
get a hard thing out of the way,
and create new energy for my week.
I usually start Monday’s really slow.
I sit and sip my coffee on the couch, under a blanket, with Rocky at my feet.
I write a blog.
I write a newsletter.
I stay in my pajamas.
I drink my green juice as a late morning breakfast,
before heading to the shower to really start my day and my week.
So when this Monday rolled around,
the dreams I had for myself last week when I scheduled this class,
were met with resistance.
I sat on the couch under my blanket with my coffee.
Time went too fast and it was time to go to class.
I didn’t want to.
I wanted to stay home.
I wanted to cancel.
I told myself I would just give it a try.
It was just an experiment.
I would just do this one hour and I could never do it again if I hated it.
I slugged my green juice on the way to the gym and showed up just barely on time.
I promised myself I didn’t have to work too hard.
I could hide in the back.
I told everyone it had been a while since I took a cycling class.
They told me to have fun.
I slowly started rolling my eyes and my legs.
I hate cycling actually.
It hurts my butt, my quads, my ego.
The lights went red and the music got louder.
The instructor started telling us we were chasing something.
I was on the heels of it.
I pushed harder, not too hard.
The music picked up speed and so did we.
Our RPMs and Watts started showing on the super sized screen in front of us.
My competitive nature took over.
An old school remix started.
Another one bites the dust.
I lifted off my seat, increased my resistance, smiled, and gave it all I got.
I spun as hard as I could.
I smiled to myself in the mirror.
I practically punched my fists in the air.
I let out an accidental “YES!”
The instructor yelled “way to go Heather, you’re a leader!”
I spun twice as hard.
I gave it all I got, again and still.
I left it all there on that impossible hill.
I climbed, then I coasted, then I climbed harder, the wind was in my face, and I hustled.
Who does this first thing on a Monday morning?
When class was over I felt twice as creative, as when I got off the couch.
I treated myself to the whirlpool, the steam room, the sauna.
I made a handful of new friends.
(super easy to do while sweating in a steam room and sauna)
I know showing up to the gym spa for a few hours on a Monday morning,
is a complete luxury.
I worked hard for it.
I used to drink the most on Sunday nights to avoid Monday.
By Sunday, the weekend social drinking was over.
I was exhausted and hungover from it.
Sunday nights were “my time”.
I didn’t have to keep my drinking in check.
I could safely drink as much as I wanted from the comfort of my own home.
I’d start with a glass in the late afternoon to kick my headache.
Then a bit more while I made dinner.
Then some with dinner.
My husband was not drinking with me,
but this was just me being European, sophisticated, and grown up.
Drinking on a Sunday, proves you don’t have a problem, right?
You’re still drinking, so obviously no problem.
My family would go to bed.
I would say good night as they headed up the stairs.
I would keep drinking.
Proceeding to open another bottle.
I hated my job.
I hated Mondays.
I was out of alignment with myself.
I despised most of my life, actually.
Nothing was wrong with it, but nothing seemed right either.
I had many things to complain about.
Through getting sober, I learned to give myself what I want most, which sometimes means,
not getting what I want right now.
Wanting to be alcohol free more than wanting a drink,taught me to sit with cravings and triggers.
It was so uncomfortable.
It was so hard to do something different when I really wanted a drink.
I had to reach out for help.
I had to change my environment.
I had to change my routine.
I had to feel my emotions.
I had to cry, scream, beg, fight, and breathe.
I had to stop abandoning myself.
I had to stop going to that sweet abyss where the happiness peaked through for a second, and just sit in pain and misery instead.
This morning doing something different felt eerily similar to that discomfort.
I had to make a change.
Never an easy thing to do.
I had to fight through my own limiting beliefs.
Sobriety built my resilience.
I can do hard things now.
My confidence has grown.
I am so grateful that I pushed through my resistance today.
I am signed up for the cycle class next Monday.
You can too.
You can ditch the drink.
You can spend your money on a fancy gym spa instead.
You can find a job that allows for flexibility.
You can prioritize yourself.
You don’t have to drink yourself to oblivion
on Sunday nights
to avoid Monday,
to avoid the new week,
to avoid your whole life.
You can’t do it alone.
You need an instructor, a trainer, a coach.
Someone to push you and celebrate you.
Someone who has traveled the road you are traveling.
I’d love to help.
Do not wait until you are motivated.
You will not be motivated.
You will be met with your own resistance.
Do it anyway.
The only way to start, is to start.
Start messy, not ready.
Why not just start, you might end up giving it all you got!
But you definitely won’t do that if you don’t get started.
Read more of my blogs about exercise and sobriety here:
FREE Sober Secrets Guide, on website. DitchedTheDrink.com