Nigel needed my support today but I had to laugh at him

Sometimes the key to turning down a high level of stress is just to notice that it is there.

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Whenever I do anything Nigel and I have to understand how it works for it to sink in to my head.

If someone needs something from me or I am doing some sort of task/activity I need to understand not only what needs to be done but also WHY it needs to be done.

It makes me more effective. Blowing my own trumpet a little here but I am a natural problems solver, if I can understand the why I can figure out the best way of getting from A to B.

During these times I find Nigel (my inner voice, stress, worry, anxiety) helpful. He thinks of everything that could go wrong with the a solution and together we are able to look at things in a balanced way.

My stress levels are higher when there are gaps in my understanding, to Nigel this is a risk, how can we know we have got from A to B in the best way possible?

Running my own business is a learning curve. A huge gap in my knowledge and confidence is the HMRC.

I am happy to stand on the top of a moving aeroplane but when it comes to finances I have no risk appetite at all. I like to be completely accurate.

I needed to register with HMRC for Corporation Tax and PAYE. Straight away Nigel was on edge, he knows our low appetite to risk with finances and our knowledge gap with HMRC.

First I tried to do this online, to cut a long story short it did not go to plan. As you can imagine Nigel was chattering away in the background;

 ‘why can you not understand what it says’ ‘you must be doing something wrong’ ‘the website will work for everyone else’.

So I called, the lady on the end of the phone was helpful and explained what needed to be done, we just couldn’t tie it all together. My heart was racing, I was getting hot, my head was fuzzy, why do I not get it?! 

I noticed Nigel again, he had stopped chattering. Instead just screaming in my ear ARRGGHHHHHHHHHHH!

I would challenge any one to concentrate on HMRC instructions whilst your inner voice is having a breakdown. No wonder it wouldn’t go in, Nigel was just hitting the big red button with his head.

Once I noticed him, I had to laugh. I think this was the first time he has got to the point where words are no longer coming out and it is just screams and I have noticed. Normally I would not be able to hear myself think pass his screams to be able to deal with the situation effectively. Progress.

I took a few deep breaths and just noted down what needed to be done. I could put it in to perspective, It was ok that I didn’t understand the why yet, I am learning. Plus I have a great accountant to keep me on the straight and narrow!

Sometimes the key to turning down a high level of stress is just to notice that it is there. Giving a chance for yourself to put the worry in to perspective.

Who is Nigel?

#Nigel #Talkaboutstress #Stresscoach #Innertalk

Originally published at

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