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New Year, New Decade. Now What?

5 ways to avoid the New Year's Resolution trap and thrive in 2020

Photo by Stef Etow
Photo by Stef Etow

New Year. New You. New program/course/mastermind you must buy to unleash your dreams and make 2020 your best year yet.

Each year at the same time in December, there’s an increasing amount of pressure to enter the new year right.

But here’s the deal.

New year, new decade, new Groundhog Day, none of it matters.

What matters is you reaching a point in your life where you’re no longer motivated to keep up the patterns that have kept you from going all-in on making your dreams a reality.

And that point can happen at 4:17pm on a Wednesday when you’re watching an episode of Ellen.

Rather than buying into the pressure of starting off a new year “right” and placing super high expectations on a vision board that gets covered up with your growing to-do list by January 19th, try this instead:

1. Accept how 2019 went for you…and then move on.

Take an honest look at what unfolded this year without trying to beat yourself up over it or make excuses. Don’t put energy into changing what’s already done. Doing so is only going to keep you living in the past and that’s a terrible place to be.

Did things go the way you wanted? What didn’t happen that you had planned on? What goals did or didn’t you meet?

When you accept how things went, you can clearly focus on what you want to happen next without dragging the past into the future.

2. Understand where you ended up and where you want to be.

To head into 2020 (or any day) strong, you want to look at closing the gap between where you’re at and where you want to be (because that’s where the real work is at). This can be in your career, in love, or in any part of life.

Best way to start this process?

Identify what old stories you’ve been playing out in your mind that held you back from meeting your goals. Once you know the stories holding you back, you can rewrite them so they propel you forward.

3. Make a gratitude list.

It may seem trivial to give thanks when looking at what didn’t work out the way you wanted in 2019, but think of it this way:

You’ve already spent a ton of time overanalyzing what went wrong. Now, try entertaining the other end of the spectrum.

What did go well in 2019? What are you proud of? What blessings came from the hardships you endured? What can you be grateful for RIGHT NOW?

When you do this, you’ll open up a lot more room for new solutions that are grounded in objectivity, not just on a negative bias.

4. Forgive.

Yourself. Others. God/Buddha/Spirit/the Universe. Trump. Your dad.

So much of what we carry with us year after year is an excess of emotional baggage from unresolved losses. If you want to make 2020 a year of ease, do the deep work of forgiveness.

Not only will you release old ties to old wounds, you’ll also free up your energy to direct it toward the things that will light you up the most.

5. Say Goodbye.

With all the hype on celebrating all the things you’ll start doing to start the new year off right, it’s amazing how little room is made to celebrate saying goodbye to all the things, people, dreams, old stories, or beliefs that you’re ready to part ways with.

Here’s a secret:

It’s in the act of saying goodbye that you create space for the unknown – the sacred space where anything and everything exists.

And that space is where the magic is at.

So to create more magic in 2020, get a Goodbye list going.

Then at the stroke of midnight (or in between episodes of The Morning Show) release what’s held you back with a Good Goodbye ritual.

New Year or not, you get to experience the joy of letting in more of what you want in life anytime you’re ready for it.

And it doesn’t have to be so freaking hard to get there.

Get great at letting go of the things that have made it hard up until now.

And then, watch the magic unfold. 

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