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Natalie Miles: “Stop people pleasing”

Stop people pleasing. People pleasing is one of the biggest blocks to connecting to your intuition and stepping out of your power. So often we know something to be true, or we want to take action on something but we don’t out of the fear of upsetting, offending or wanting to fit in with other […]

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Stop people pleasing. People pleasing is one of the biggest blocks to connecting to your intuition and stepping out of your power. So often we know something to be true, or we want to take action on something but we don’t out of the fear of upsetting, offending or wanting to fit in with other people’s thoughts, desires and opinions. Even if our whole body is screaming at us, social conditioning to be nice and not rock the boat means it still feels easier to keep a smile on your face and respond with “I’m great, thanks!” if anybody asks.


As a part of my series about “5 Lifestyle Tweaks That Will Dramatically Improve One’s Wellbeing”, I had the pleasure of interviewing Natalie Miles.

Natalie Miles is an international Psychic Medium, Writer, Speaker, and Host of top spiritual podcast ​“So You Think You’re Intuitive?”​ Known for her down-to-earth approach, it is her mission to make intuition accessible to everyone. In her work with individuals and groups, she guides clients to use their intuition to look at what’s holding them back in the here and now, empowering them to take action on their inner truths. Her new book, You Are Intuitive, helps guide readers in taking back their power.


Thank you for doing this with us! Our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share with us the story about how you first got involved in spirituality and wellness?

I first got involved into spirituality and wellness in my teens through my Mum. She was doing yoga and meditation 30plus years ago before they were the “in thing” and she introduced me to different practices and modalities. At aged 16 she suggested I go with her to my first ever “psychic” circle a gathering of women led by a local psychic in her home in a suburban village in the South of England. It was a group to practice your intuitive gifts. This all started my journey into discovering my own spirituality and connection to my intuition. But I only started this work as a career in my early 30s after leaving a career as a producer in the film/tv industry. Spirit kept giving me the intuitive message to leave and follow the path to the work I do now. Listening to that guidance has been such an empowering and life changing decision.

Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career?

There have been so many stories as every day has been different with all the clients I see across the world. You never know what is going to come up in the space and what Spirit wants to share with each person and what wants to come through. Whether it’s helping someone heal from a past break up, a loved one who recently passed over and wants to share some messages to let a relative know they’re ok or a top CEO looking for business guidance. But what I love is noticing that at a stage event, online event or in a day of 1–1 client sessions the messages I share from Spirit all have the same main themes that run through them. So I can give a message to one person and it will resonate with the whole group that’s there too. Whether it’s about self-worth, receiving love, motherhood or relationship problems as an example. It makes you realize that although we’re individuals experiencing our daily ups, downs, struggles and transformation that we’re also very interconnected with each other. Why is this? I feel that Spirit, the Universe or whatever human label you want to use bring us together energetically so we can all learn and heal from each other in that one moment.

Can you share a story with us about the most humorous mistake you made when you were first starting? What lesson or take-away did you learn from that?

When I first started I was soooo fixated on “future telling” for people. I thought that was the only reason they were coming to see me. But overtime I realized this was such a stereotype and part of old programing as a psychic medium. Spirit made it very clear to me that this was about sharing messages so people could heal the present moment, and their past trauma. They said to me one day.

“If we can’t heal the present moment and make peace with the past, we will always be disappointed by our future. Because when it arrives we will still be holding our trauma and living from our limiting beliefs, and this will continue to impact our relationships and how we see the world.”

This has shaped my own life and how I work with others to guide them back to their intuition.

Can you share with our readers a bit about why you are an authority in the spirituality and wellness field? In your opinion, what is your unique contribution to the world of wellness?

I don’t actually see myself as an authority in the field. You are your own authority. So I guess that’s my unique contribution. I feel there’s so much pressure to follow an authority, guru or teacher vs listening to our own inner knowledge, wisdom and to trust our own power. So my contribution is to help people

believe in their own authority. To guide them to reactivate and reconnect to their intuitive gifts so they can tap into their inner truth, trust they’re on the right path, practice discernment and look for the answers within themselves. I’m not here to be an authority but a catalyst for their intuitive reactivation.

None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?

Wow I mentioned her earlier but my Mum. She has always been someone that has encouraged me to be creative, tap into my imagination, to follow my dreams and dream big. At 16 she was the one who started my intuitive journey. The other person is my main Spirit Guide who appeared to me at the end of my bed aged 5. She appeared at the end of my bed one night when I was feeling scared and said to me: “Don’t be afraid. I’m here to guide you and protect you.” She appeared as a glowing light with icy blue energy emanating from her, but the most vivid memory I have of this experience is simply that I felt safe and looked after. Although not “human” she has been such a force of guidance and support through my life.

We all know that it’s important to eat more vegetables, eat less sugar, exercise more, and get better sleep etc. But while we know it intellectually, it’s often difficult to put it into practice and make it a part of our daily habits. In your opinion what are the 3 main blockages that prevent us from taking the information that we all know, and integrating it into our lives?

  • Perfection

There’s a pressure to be perfect and do all the right things in the wellness world right now. If we can take the pressure off ourselves to be perfect and acknowledge before we start a new routine/daily habit that we’re not always going to get it right. That we will have the days where we want to eat the chocolate or not exercise then it sets us up for success. It allows us mentally to not think we have failed and pick back up on the routine.

  • Not slowing down

Our lives can be on hyper speed and we feel we don’t have time and blame “time” as the reason we can’t bring in the daily habits. (Even when we know we’d feel better having them in our life.) We have been conditioned by society to not slow down and rest. When we slow down we can reevaluate the time we have and create more space in our daily schedule to bring in these practices/routines.

  • Not listening to your intuition

We can receive so much guidance from our intuitive bodies and we don’t listen. More often than not we can “know” we should get more rest and go to bed early, or to stop eating a type of food or to bring in a new routine- and yet we don’t do it. Our body shows us through feeling or a knowing and yet we choose to ignore it. When we use our intuition to tune into what our body needs on a daily basis it gives us the flexibility, flow and integration of our daily habits.

Can you please share your “5 Non-Intuitive but Should Be Lifestyle Tweaks That Will Dramatically Improve One’s Wellbeing”? (Please share a story or an example for each, and feel free to share ideas for mental, emotional and physical health.)

Intuitive Shower Sessions– I get some of the best intuitive messages and guidance when I’m in the shower. I first use the water to imagine my whole energetic intuitive body being reset, clearing my auric field and washing off any energy that I need to let go of. I then ask out loud or in my head, “What do I need to know today?” I then pause and wait to hear, know, feel, or see any guidance that wants to come through for me. I love doing this in the morning and I find it really helps me set up my day.

Is this energy mine? — We take on the energy of others every single day. Whilst this is normal it’s also important for us to do a daily body scan to check our energy body to work out what energy is ours and what belongs to someone else. Including politicians, journalists, and the thousands of people you likely interact with on social media every day. I call this practising Energetic Self Sovereignty. One of the quickest ways to distinguish if the energy or emotions you’re experiencing is yours is simply to ask: “Is this energy mine?” You can then do an energy scan of your whole body. Scan your whole body, moving your awareness from your toes all the way up to the top of your head. See what you notice in terms of both your physical body and your emotional state.

If an emotion or physical symptom is present that doesn’t feel like it belongs to you the next step is to ask, “Who does this energy belong to?” Trust the first thing that comes to you, whether it’s a person, an organization, or even an article you read earlier on Facebook. You might not always get a clear hit, and that’s okay. You can still release the energy even if you don’t know exactly what or who is affecting you, the first step is simply to trust that something doesn’t feel quite right.

Now, ask the energy to leave. You can do this in your head or say it out loud: “I ask you to please leave my physical and energetic body.”

Orgasms– Orgasms are a great way to reset the energy body and remove the energy of others. It also helps you to reset your energy so you can receive better intuitive guidance and messages! Before you begin pleasuring yourself (and this can be done with a partner too), set the intention of the energy you wish to release. As you climax, imagine life force energy from the orgasm moving through your whole energetic intuitive body as it removes any energy that’s not yours attached to you.

Strengthening your intuitive trust muscle– Intuition is a muscle. The more you trust it and take action on your intuitive messages the more messages you’ll receive. When we connect with our intuition and take action on the small intuitive hits and step into the unknown, we begin to feel more confident, trusting of our decisions and the path we are on. You might think that our intuitive guidance needs to always be big life changing messages. But the key is to start small by taking action on the feelings to, “go there, call that person, follow that sign.” It seems counter intuitive but stepping into the unknown is going to improve your connection to your intuition and your wellbeing. It might feel uncomfortable at first but try it out and see what happens!

Stop people pleasing

People pleasing is one of the biggest blocks to connecting to your intuition and stepping out of your power. So often we know something to be true, or we want to take action on something but we don’t out of the fear of upsetting, offending or wanting to fit in with other people’s thoughts, desires and opinions. Even if our whole body is screaming at us, social conditioning to be nice and not rock the boat means it still feels easier to keep a smile on your face and respond with “I’m great, thanks!” if anybody asks.

When we people please and don’t show up authentically we step out of our personal power. We want to feel more connected to people and yet we fear rejection. But wouldn’t you rather be accepted by a small group who see ALL of you and allow you stay in YOUR POWER rather than suppress who you really are to be liked by everybody?

Next time you find yourself people pleasing, call yourself out on it and remind yourself that it is energetically pulling you out of your truth and power. Do this and you will dramatically see an improvement of your mental, emotional and physical health. And your intuitive gifts!

Is there a particular book that made a significant impact on you? Can you share a story?

As a teenager I read the book Siddhartha by Herman Hesse. It’s a beautiful parable story that made me question who I was, my purpose and what the meaning of life is. There are so many profound quotes in the book but one that always stands out is

“I have always believed, and I still believe, that whatever good or bad fortune may come our way we can always give it meaning and transform it into something of value.”

It really taught me that whatever happens is for a reason, and that’s part of our learning on this planet.

If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger!

Making intuition accessible for everyone, it’s the mission and movement I’m creating now. This isn’t a skill that’s reserved for a select group of spiritual superstars, or an elite, privileged secret society. It’s for everyone. Imagine what would happen if we all listened and took action on our intuitive gifts. Change on this planet starts with us, when we can be our most authentic selves. Just being us creates change for the collective. Connecting to our intuition is going to be so important as we move through the uncertainty and change that is happening on our planet right now and the coming years. It’s a gift we all have access to and it’s time for us to use it so we can feel more grounded, calm and centered during this time.

Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Do you have a story about how that was relevant in your life?

I’ll be honest I’ve never had a “traditional” life lesson quote I’ve favorited or followed.

There is one message I received from my Spirit team, whilst I was lying in the bath one evening that impacted my life the most and that I continue to live my life by. They simply said, “I choose me”. This led me to notice the themes and patterns through my life where I could see I’d been waiting to be “chosen” by others all my life — whether in my work, my passions, my romantic relationships, or my family life. It took me on a journey to “heal the present moment” I began to learn that I’d grown up believing that the power was outside of myself. That my opportunities to receive love, create success and happiness were dependent on others versus me believing in my own power and choosing myself. I decided that this wasn’t how I wanted to live my life anymore and decided to follow what brought me joy in the NOW instead.

Is there a person in the world, or in the US whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them 🙂

I would love to have a breakfast with Rupi Kaur the poet or Maggie Rogers the musician as I love their work and would love to hear all about their creative process and how they channel their creative flow.

What is the best way our readers can follow you online?

The best way is to follow me on IG- @iamnataliemiles or visit www.natalie-miles.com or www.youareintuitive.com

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