Christmas presents and stocking stuffers are barely off the store shelves when the Valentine’s Day goodies arrive. Roses, chocolates and sappy cards are readily available and easy to find. In fact, in the USA, more than $19 billion is spent each year on the Valentine’s Day basics: flowers, dinners and sweet treats.
Whether you are single or in a relationship, Valentine’s Day, with all of its expectations, certainly has an effect. What if it didn’t have to? What if, despite your current relationship status, you could enjoy and celebrate Valentine’s Day and make it fun for you?
The list of other people’s opinions on the topic of relationship is endless. There are articles, advice columns and of course input from family and friends about every aspect of relationship you can imagine. But, what if none of its true? What if most of what we’ve been taught about relationship is based on myths and misconceptions and what if you could choose what actually works for you? It is, after all, your life.
Here are 3 relationship myths that could be interfering with you having the life you truly desire and the tools to turn it around.
Myth #1 — It’s better to be in a relationship than to be single
If you are single, you know what I am talking about. How often are your friends and family trying to “set you up.” How often do you get asked whether or not you’ve “found someone.” A lot of significance has been placed on relationship and with that comes the idea that YOU should have one.
What if relationship is simply a choice? What if being single wasn’t right or wrong, better or worse? What if you could choose what works for you regardless of what anyone else has to say about it?
Sometimes, it can be hard to know what you truly desire with regards to relationship. Everyone else’s points of view can make it difficult for you to have your own. Something I discovered is that when something is true for you, it makes you feel lighter. When something is not true for you, it makes you feel heavier. If you will start to ask questions, recognize which choice feels lighter and then choose that, your life will get much easier.
Myth #2 — Waiting for Mr. or Mrs. Right
How many of you bought the idea that one day, Prince Charming, Mr. or Mrs. Right, the one who can do no wrong will come riding in on a white horse, whisk you off into the sunset of happily ever after? Of all the couples that you know, have you ever seen this occur? And, is that what you REALLY desire anyway? How small do you have to make you in order to need someone to come and rescue you? To save you? To give you the life you desire?
You are far greater than you know and if you will embrace your greatness and let go of the illusion of Prince or Princess charming, YOU will begin to create your life as the fun, playful and joyful celebration you desire.
Start to ask this question, “What’s right about me that I’m not getting?” Most of us are very good at judging ourselves. If you will start to ask this question, you will begin to perceive the greatness of you rather than the wrongness of you which empowers you to choose and to create your life as you would like it to be — whether anyone else is in it or not.
Myth #3 — If I care about my partner, I will sacrifice myself
We have been taught that if we care for someone, we sacrifice for them. When we buy this as real and true, we cut off parts of ourselves in order to prove our care. Have you ever noticed that this doesn’t work? And, have you ever noticed that when you care for you, you actually care more for others?
The world is asking for you to show up with all of you — all of the beauty, brilliance and greatness that you be. When you cut of pieces of you to fit into a relationship, everyone misses out on the amazing gift of you!
What would your relationship be like, if you brought ALL of you into it? What would be created in your relationship and in the world, if you never stopped choosing for you?
You can start by taking 1 hour a day to something that you love. Take a walk. Read a book. Paint a picture. Go for a swim. Sit somewhere in nature that is enjoyable to you. Choose for you and let them the joy, kindness and care overflow.
Relationship myths don’t have to determine anything for you. You can create what works for you, whether that includes a relationship or not. Be willing to let go of what others have told you SHOULD be and choose what you know CAN be that works for you.
About Dr. Dain Heer
Dain Heer is an internationally renowned author, speaker and facilitator of consciousness, and change and for the last 14 years has been inviting people to embrace their true greatness. His book, Being You, Changing the World — Is Now the Time? is published in seven languages. For more information visit www.drdainheer.com
Originally published at medium.com