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My winning formula to self-esteem

Lessons, reflections and being real to me

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For years I’ve battled with self-esteem.  I don’t quite know what to pin point the cause to as I’ve had my fair share of challenges; so it could have stemmed from a number of scenarios or built up over time because of them all.  As I’ve grown older the challenges haven’t just magically disappeared, however my internal response over time has.  

I’m an ultimate reflector and I naturally recount and analyze situations where, if I let it, my mind can blow up scenarios which can result in me pulling myself to pieces.  There is always something to learn in every situation you come across, but sometimes you have to acknowledge whether the thoughts you are having are necessary and whether they are slowly sabotaging your sense of self.  

This has taken time to practice because I’m also a people pleaser.  You know the type, the kind of person that apologizes when someone else walks into you and the kind of person who doesn’t want to rock the boat by thinking and seeing the world differently so keeps their thoughts tightly locked up inside instead of sharing another perspective.  Yet over the years I have learnt that, no matter how hard you may try to be “liked”, there will always be people who purposefully won’t like you.  The problem I had, was that I used to own their thoughts and comments of me.  Believing that because they were older, or in a more senior position than me, that their hurtful comments, reactions or attitudes towards me were for some reason warranted.  This would lead me to always come away deeply hurt and wounded for being so misunderstood but I some how, would convince myself that their way of viewing the world was more perceptive than mine.

I don’t know when the turning point came for me.  But I do know that I know myself better than anyone else!  After soul searching and digging deep to understand myself well, I realized my over analytical thinking could be flipped into a positive mantra to recognize the deep reflections, the want and need I had to learn from my mistakes, to be a good person and to do right in the world; which all led to one thing.  In my actions and interactions – I came from a place of good.  That’s it.  I may not be right, I may not be liked, I may not have achieved what I set out to do and I may not have made a difference.  But, I came from a place of good.  I put my heart and soul into what I was doing and there was well meaning intentions behind my actions.  Life isn’t perfect and it doesn’t always go as we had hoped or planned, but if we come from a place of good, how can we ever argue with that?

If you are looking to learn more about yourself?  A good place to start is checking out 16personalities.com to understand your personality type to see if what is said, resonates with you.  I’m an INFJ personality – one of the rare personality types that surprise surprise, is often misunderstood!  Is it my job to educate everyone around me of the type of person I am?  Geez, no, but if I know myself well, if I know that my intentions were pure, if I know I came from a good place then I can rest that mind of mine and put it to better use as there will always be people in this world ready to make me feel bad, so the least I can do for myself is to be kind. 

Is it time to change that mantra of yours and make it empowering and kind?  If it is, I dare you to explore who you really are, not what others perceive you to be, or who you’ve become because of others. The person inside you, that you may have chosen to hide from the world; the person craving to be seen and heard for who they are. You owe it to yourself to be true to you as life is short enough without having it any other way. Shine brightly because the world is lucky to have you in it!

#WELLBEING #WINNING #LOVEWHOYOUARE #MISUNDERSTOODMADNESS #SHINEBRIGHTLY

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