My unhealthy relationship with food

For so long I lived a life of fear. A life of guilt. A life of unhappiness. I was so fearful of food.

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I considered food as the devil, as the enemy. It’s only purpose was to make me put on weight and go back to the way I once looked when I was a child. I didn’t classify it as nourishing or saw how it nurtures our bodies. I saw it as the one thing that was out to get me. Out to torment me.

So many of us have an unhealthy relationship with food. This relationship may of been formed due to the diet crazed culture we live in, a past trauma we may have experienced or something similar to my experience- a combination of both. It grew that voice in my head and made her lead the show. Made her take the lead. She continued to drive my actions and would control everything. I was consumed with guilt and fear- emotions that were killing me. This unhealthy relationship went on for many years, until one day I took back the lead. I was sick of feeling this way and I was able to re-store my relationship with food and myself.

This relationship taught me three important culprits that you need to remove in order to starve that voice and stop it from taking control. Stop it from expanding. Stop it from allowing that voice to get louder and strengthen the impact it has on us. These factors are inhibiting so many of us from achieving happiness in our lives, from moving forward, and from finding inner peace. So many do not realise they are victims to these culprits as so many have become engraved within us. They have become a habit. But once you start to become aware you can start to pull yourself up when these culprits come to play. Once you start to recognise these habits you then have the power to change the way you let them affect you. You have the power to change your pathways and stop these culprits from expanding and becoming something bigger. 

Once you become aware- the game changes. You are back in control. 

These three culprits are:


Our first culprit. 

The dreaded comparison. Most have encountered this culprit. Most have allowed this culprit to take control. To form into a habit, where most don’t realise they are doing it. But comparison does not serve us. It puts us into a negative head space. The moment we start comparing is the moment we have set ourselves up for failure. When one starts comparing it shifts our mind to focus on what we are not. What we may want. Or what we may desire. It shifts us to start pin pointing the flaws we may see in ourselves or make us become aware of the things we do not have. It removes the focus on the now, the present and does not allow us to have gratitude for the things we have. Once we start comparing, we lose focus on all we already have. 

Why do we allow ourselves to do this? Why would we allow this to take control and put us in a negative headspace?

We are inflicting self-harm to ourselves. Stop this pattern. Instead of focusing on what others have in compared to you, focus on what you already have. Show gratitude for the things that make you unique, that you have access in your life and the support around you. Shift your mindset so you can start promoting positive thoughts and you will start to feel the change. Instead of comparing yourself to someone else, shift it to a compliment and come back to what you are grateful for in your life. I can guarantee there are people less off than you like there may be people better off than you. But that is life. Once we start to acknowledge and accept this, remove the negative comparison and focus on the positive aspects of our lives, your energy will change, and you will be on your way to transforming. To finally forming a stronger and more accepting relationship with yourself.

my unhealthy relationship with food

2. Jealousy

Our second culprit.

Jealousy. An unwanted emotion. It is something that does not serve us, nor does it make us grow. It does not help our development, it does not help our journey, nor does it help create inner peace. It is an energy that pulls us back from our journey, it stops us from achieving what we want and creates a negative mindset. When we come from this negative mindset, we start to doubt ourselves and our own capabilities. We start to see the world differently and can find we start to loathe ourselves. This will not serve you or allow for inner happiness. It will not allow you to serve your community or those around you. Change that jealousy to appreciation. To happiness. Change it for the better. Change it to allow yourself to start living and create that positive energy around so you can ensure you start to truly live. Come from a place of love instead of a place of jealousy. You have no need to be jealous of another’s life. You have no need to envy another’s looks. Be happy for them. Use them as motivation to help you get to where you need to be. Use their journey to help you create yours. Your life is different from there’s- your journey is different from there’s. Take this jealous energy and replace it with love, gratitude and happiness. It will do so much more for you than you know. Take these emotions and use them in life and if you feel jealous about someone, acknowledge this, figure out what has ignited this and find the core wound that has triggered it. This will help create inner peace. This will help create #selflove.

3. Self-criticism

Our final culprit.

Most are guilty of expressing self-criticism. Are guilty of never feeling enough or never feeling worthy. We find that we are our own worst critics. Never acknowledging the changes, we have made. Never acknowledging the little wins, we have had. Always seeming to focus on why we are not good enough or how we could have done better. Always focusing on the bits, we wish to fix or change instead of appreciating the bits we have or are grateful of. Why do we do this? Why has this become a default so many of us do? By focusing on the negatives, we are not allowing the positives to shine. We are not allowing ourselves to appreciate what we have or how far we have come. We are allowing ourselves to get caught up in the ‘what ifs’ or the ‘I wish’s’ and becoming disconnected with what truly matters. Stop being so hard on yourself. Start focusing on self-love. Start focusing on what you have or how far you have come. By changing our thought patterns and shifting our focus it enables ourselves to come into a better head space and start forming a relationship with ourselves. Start appreciating who we are and embodying our true self. We start to acknowledge how far we have come which will be beneficial in helping you move forward and continue succeeding. Remove the self-criticism, remove the pressure and start appreciating where you are right now. How far you have come. How grateful you are of what you have accomplished. 

Once you become aware of these three culprits, you can start to change the way you allow them to come into your life. You have the power to limit their effects on you and help remove the negative impacts they are having. You can start to put a silence to that voice and start starving the thoughts that are feeding it. You can start forming a healthy relationship with yourself where you can finally focus on being worthy and finding peace. The self-doubt quietens. The “I am worthy” becomes louder. The confidence starts to excel, and you will find your headspace starts to change. You will start to switch your thoughts and change them into ones that will serve you. Ones that will help you. Ones that will bring you happiness.

Control these culprits. Control these patterns. Control your life. Find happiness. Find self-worth. Find peace.

I am forever grateful for my relationship with food and the journey I went on. It taught me life lessons in order to control that voice so many of us become accustomed to. So many of us forget its power. It taught me how to transform my unhealthy relationship with food and restore it to a healthy relationship.


Lauren xo

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