After coming out of relationships, one of the many things that I hear from women is that they don’t love themselves. I know for me, when my marriage ended, I didn’t even like myself. Scratch that, I was a stranger to myself, so I didn’t even know who I was to even like what I saw. What I did know was that I needed to go on a journey to falling in love with me.
Falling in love with yourself is a beautiful journey that involves a process of discovery, growth, healing, and forgiveness. There are moments that are painful and moments that are joyous, and all are necessary to bring you home to yourself.
So many women ask me how to finally forgive themselves, how to silence the negative beliefs in their heads, how to finally love who they are…
Below are my 5 absolute favorite tools for learning to fall deeply in love with the depths of your soul.
Goddess Hour– This beautiful concept was created by Marianne Williamson and is meant to bring you back home to yourself, your feminine core, every single day. Commit to yourself to spend a certain amount of time every day. I suggest no less than 20 minutes, doing something specifically and solely for you. What you do is up to you and it will be based on three things:
- Consciously tuning in to how you are feeling.
- Consciously tuning in to how you desire to be feeling.
- Choosing an activity that will allow you to achieve your desired feeling.
The Kissing Game – I learned about this fun little game in a book called The Soul Mate Secret by Arielle Ford. Arielle suggests that as you make your way through each day, you secretly blow yourself a kiss every time you see your reflection. I have had a lot of fun with this and have taken it a step further. Each time you see your reflection and blow yourself a kiss, also give yourself a compliment. Maybe you hear yourself whistle and comment on how beautiful your hair is or maybe it’s a comment about how good those jeans make you look. Whatever it is, be playful with it and enjoy the feelings that arise.
Learn Something New – We get stuck doing the same things over and over, and before you know it, you haven’t done anything new in months, maybe even years. Do you remember how amazing it feels to learn something new? The little rush of fear (We will call this excitement), the awkwardness when you start, the little bursts of joy that pop through each time you get a little better, and the feeling of satisfaction when you have mastered it. Learning new things is a way you can feel good about yourself whenever you desire. I always think of children and how they are learning new things pretty much all day every day…no wonder they are such joyful creatures!
Mirror Work – I believe this powerful technique was brought forth through Louise Hay. There are different techniques and ways to do this, but I’m going to share with you the way I love to do it. How often do you take the time to stare into your own eyes with curiosity and love? Most of us will probably say never and so my question then becomes, How can someone else love you deeply if you cannot love yourself deeply? Create a practice of taking time every single day to look into the mirror and stare deeply into your eyes. When you begin this practice, 1 minute will seem like an eternity, so start there and then build up as you grow more comfortable with the process. Start with staring deeply then begin adding words of love or phrases of affirmation. Be conscious of how you are feeling and what is being triggered while you do this. Are there stories playing out in your head or is your inner critic screaming at you? When you are done, take a moment to write down anything that came up.
Will You Go Out With Me? – When was the last time you took yourself out on a date? Have you ever? My guess is that even if you have, you haven’t done it like this. The idea is to romance yourself with your dream idea of what you would like from a significant other. This will look different for everyone; perhaps you begin with receiving beautiful flowers with a romantic note, buy yourself sexy lingerie to wear secretly under a beautiful dress, or maybe plan the most beautiful hike with a picnic along the way. Whatever you decide, go all out. Wake up in the morning with the excitement that you have date that day. Spend your day feeling that giddiness build and prepare yourself as if you are meeting the most special person in the world. Because, you are meeting the most special person in the world …YOU.
With Love and Joy,
Originally published at jennjoycoaching.com