Since discovering Medium and Thrive Global, my life has been enriched. All the articles are so helpful for living a full and more present life. All the authors seem to have their stuff together and know how to get their point and lesson across in a simple and easy to read way. I applaud and appreciate that; however, I am not any of the above. My life is not together, in fact, it needs to be fixed. After solving one issue, I walk myself right into another, and I always seem to be unaware of the issue for a while before I figure out exactly what is making me unhappy in order to actually then solve the problem.
So I won’t be like those other bloggers writing to you after the lesson is learned. I will be a writer who will take you on my journey through the lesson. It won’t be pretty or perfect, but it will be real and God willing, it will help someone with similar struggles. So, away we go. My life is a mess and finally, after boo-hooing and whining about the mess that I have created, what appears to be repeatedly, I can now say that I look forward to the mess.
Rather, I look forward to solving the mess I should say. I look forward to the lessons that will be learned and the fears that will be conquered. I look forward to the new ways of thinking that will be developed and I look forward to happiness, abundance, time and quality of life that will be achieved. I look forward to enhanced well-being when it is all done. Yes, I somehow figured out how to look at the problem in a positive way and instead of loathing it, appreciate it for what it was: a path to growth and understanding of self. It really is crazy how the way you look at something changes your outlook. I now see this problem as a puzzle I get to solve, and by the way I love puzzles.
You may be wondering, what specifically is a mess with my life? I will clarify for you as I have finally confirmed to myself what the issue is. My life is a mess because I work two jobs, and I never have time to rest, spend time with my daughter, think or follow my passion of writing. But guess what folks, I had this same problem last year and quit my job (it was another job by the way), had a few weeks of bliss, panicked about money, and then ended up working even more hours presently. Sigh, I am even more frustrated with myself as I should have recognized the problem quite quickly, but I did not. Here I am a year later with the same issue. Apparently it is true what they say, the lesson keeps repeating until you get it.
What is the plan this time? Well this time, I won’t quit my job and leave myself without any form of income. But I will quit one of the jobs and cut down on the material things that are not necessary. This act should open more time for me to spend with my daughter, myself and my passion and hopefully, eventually, lead to me doing what I love for a living, which is the ultimate goal. Really, I want to write and travel. I am able at this point to recognize that the opportunity to blog here is preventing me from dying the slow death that Paulo Coelho describes in The Alchemist. The slow death of people who do not follow their dreams but instead settle for safe life experience. Blogging here allows me to follow my dreams and keep hope alive, and I am forever grateful for the love and opportunity. So come along with me as I focus my life on my well-being, time with my daughter and myself. As I focus on living the best life, the life I want for myself.
Originally published at medium.com