Moving On: Will it stop hurting?

How do you move on when the person you thought would never leave you dies? They were your go-to for everything. Your better half. How can you live each day without them by your side reassuring you about your choices? Pushing you to become better? Cheering you on even if you do not believe in yourself?

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Death is cruel and vicious. It takes those we care about without thinking twice. It doesn’t care whether it was your significant other, the person you vowed to love and live with forever. It doesn’t care if it’s your sibling and best friend who knows every little detail about you. Death doesn’t care if it is ripping the breadwinner, who you have come to depend on, from your arms. It comes when you least expect it, causing havoc and pain without caring about the disarray it’s leaving behind.

It is hard to digest the loss of a loved one. How do you move on? How do you live each day knowing that you will never see them again? Will the pain ever go away? Will the tears stop flowing? Will I laugh again? Will I find joy? These are some of the questions we ask ourselves after losing someone dear to us.

You may be feeling like your whole world is collapsing at the moment. Waking up each morning may prove difficult, especially after you think about how you will spend another day without their cheesy laughter. It does not get better, but the pain does fade with each passing day. You will gain the strength to wake up each morning and go about your day despite the loss. The loss will be a huge part of you, such that you get used to the loneliness, but you will be able to function.

You will be able to smile after a while, even if your eyes are filled with pain. Your coworkers will notice a genuine smile where there used to be a blank stare after a while. Afterward, you will hear yourself making an odd noise when someone cracks a funny joke, and you’ll realize that it’s laughter. You may not see it now, but you will get through the emptiness that you feel right now. You are strong.

Cry if you feel like it. Grieve. Be angry. Scream if you must. Allow yourself to feel the pain because that painful process will help you move on. It won’t be easy. You will find it hard to cope with the loss some days. But these feelings will pass, and you will be able to laugh at the jokes they cracked. You will be able to remember them fondly without breaking down. It is a process, but you have the strength to endure it.

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