As a homeschooling mother of four, a wife, and an entrepreneur- I’m so over the ‘Super Woman mentality’! I don’t know how many days I’ve been depressed because it seemed like I could get nothing done. Today I get the house all cleaned and clothes all washed but the girl’s hair looks a mess and dinner is a sandwich or cereal because I’m tired. Or, my business goals are completed and I’m winning over there but my husband gets no attention because I’m sleepy!
I am so over trying to be everything or trying to balance everything. I now understand that the balancing act is a fairytale– it can’t be done. I have now adapted the prioritizing method which allows me to itemize what needs to be done and if it isn’t all done in one day — there’s always tomorrow.
This method has freed me from the stress of trying to have it all together and has given me a true sense of accomplishment when I do get things done.
As mothers, we take care of everyone and normally leave ourselves depleted. I haven’t done a great job this year with self-care but taking care of me, is big on my list of goals for 2020. I wanted to get some feedback from other moms and experts on this topic and the responses amazed me. Some of it I will be using in my life because if I’m not my best I cheat my family and my business out of the best parts of me.
My name is Lauren Regula. I’m a happily married mother of 3 kids, ages 10,8, and 7. (They are currently playing on 5 different teams) I started and run my own business (TrAk Athletics and TrAk Online) along with my husband Dave. I’m a 2x Olympian (Athens ’04, Beijing ’08) and currently training to compete in Tokyo in 2020.
During one of my meltdowns, I heard someone say “Show me your calendar and I will show you your priorities.” And it hit me like a ton of bricks. The only thing in my calendar was work. So, we made it a point to make our family time a priority by putting it directly into our week! This is the game changer to alleviate stress. The first thing we fill in each week is our family and personal time. DATE NIGHT IS NON-NEGOTIABLE. If Dave and I are off…everything is off. Moms must prioritize themselves and their happiness or it all falls apart.
My name is Dr. Melissa Gratias. I am a mother of two, a productivity coach, author, and speaker.
I am organized and efficient, and that helps me get a lot of things done…but not everything. I have had to hire a housekeeper and a handyman. At one time, I hired a personal chef. I have had to wear a wrinkled shirt, make do without hairspray for a few weeks, and scrape deodorant remnants out of the stick with a butter knife. I’ve had to let go of many, many things that “perfect” moms would have been totally on top of.
Here’s the secret…no mom is perfect.
My name is Dr. Fran Walfish, Beverly Hills family and relationship psychotherapist, author, The Self-Aware Parent, regular expert child psychologist on The Doctors, CBS TV, and co-star on Sex Box, WE tv.
The best way to cut back on decision fatigue as an antidote to robotic living is to place self-care higher on your priority list. After leaving the office, take a 20minute break before going home to your significant other and family. Pop by a Starbuck’s and sip a cup of tea or take a short, brisk walk around the block and clear your head of daytime stress. When you get home be there – ALL there. Give your partner your full attention with clear, sustained eye-contact. Finally, develop regular ongoing communication. Talk, talk, talk with each other. Talking is the glue that holds relationships together.
My name is Jasmine Chanelle. I am a wife, mother and Brand Strategist.
I believe work-life balance is a myth and instead I focus on work-life harmony. There are days when my family gets more of my attention and patience and there are other days where my business gets my focus. Thankfully entrepreneurship allows me to control that dynamic harmoniously.
My name is Latisha Curtis. I am a proud mom.
As a mother of 3, I entirely lean on God for virtually everything, whether it be physical or mental stability. When I’m overwhelmed I take a minute to regroup. Time away from the kids I find to be therapeutic and extremely necessary though some people judge mothers for it. Setting up a support system can also be helpful with people that can be trusted (God’s guidance).
My name is Michelle Welch. I’m a mother of two and an entrepreneur.
As a single mom of 2 boys, a business owner, and serial entrepreneur I find work-family integration is the best option for me. I stay as organized as possible. I utilize a planner daily, I keep my task in order of priority and I remain flexible. I do have moments when it becomes a bit much but that’s when I lean on my faith the most. But I keep solid routines which intern create healthy habits and it keeps things flowing.
My name is Tamara Marlene. I’m a single mom and an entrepreneur.
For a while, I thought I could handle it all and failed so miserably that it wore on my mental and physical health. I ended up seeking help from my physician. With medication and therapy I’ve been able to get back to myself; the person that I lost along the way. I started working out, bought smell goods from Bath & Body, wearing my silver jewelry again. By doing those things I’ve been able to handle everything else. I make sure to make ‘me time’ and don’t even try to juggle as much as I have in the past.
My name is Sharman Davis. I am a wife, mother and business owner.
For me, putting everything into the right perspective helped so much. This came after making countless mistakes trying to get it right. So I came up with an order that I follow because I understood that:
- If I didn’t have an order they all would demand so much from me that I definitely couldn’t handle at that same time.
- If certain things were neglected It didn’t matter how the others were flourishing I would still be defeated.
- A big fear for me was being a public success and a private failure, so putting God first and taking care of the home is the first priority and everything else in its place.
My name is Ms. Jennifer Pink. I am a married mom and a Transformational Mommy Growth Coach.
I don’t try to deal with it all. I don’t try to balance anything. I set my intentions. I’m clear on my priorities. I focus on what I have to do, then need to do, followed by want to do. I am unapologetic about ME FIRST, Family second, business third and everything else can get in where it fits in.
My name is Erin Reeder. I’m a married mother of 4 girls (ages 2-7) as well as an online business owner, and adjunct college history professor.
The most important things I do to maintain balance and my sanity are to:
- Exercise at least 4 days a week. I sleep and feel better, and I have so much more patience to deal with work issues and my children’s shenanigans.
- Prioritize sleep at my most important form of self-care. While meditation, reading, and taking hot baths bring me great joy, without sleep I’m a total wreck.
- Accept progress rather than perfection from myself. Truth is, I can’t do it all perfectly. And I certainly can’t do it all at once. Instead of A+ work on everything, I’ll accept B-. As a type-A personality, this is a mindset that’s taken time to develop! But all the meals I serve my kids can’t be fresh, homemade, and organic. My house isn’t always going to be sparkling clean. Sometimes work projects are “good enough for now”.
- Be ruthless in what I allow to take up my time. My kids dress themselves from age 2 and on. I don’t decorate for the holidays (but my husband does). I only volunteer for my kid’s school things when I know it’s not going to completely stress me out.