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Mind the gap – Bridging the space between you and your authentic self.

5 key ways to bridge the gap between where you are and where you would like to be.

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As a Floatation therapy expert and trauma specialist I am forever inspired by many things, one of them being song lyrics, and none more so than those of the successful UK indie band Oasis. “You only see what people want you to see” is a line from their first top 5 British chart entry, “Whatever” charting at no 3 in 1994

These words struck a chord with me back then and still do until this day. Please take a moment to consider, life passes up by one breath at a time. Each passing breath is an opportunity to change. Each change starts with one step. And each step has the potential to present an opportunity to overcome the beliefs we have lived by since before we had the cognitive capacity to challenge their origin.

According to Morris Massey’s theory, before age 7 we do not have the brain power to challenge our environment or the experiences it offers us. We have the blind belief that the individuals around us know whats going on and with this information we begin to create our version of reality. The thing is, that most of the time, this version of reality is based on our primary childhood caregivers model of the world.

Now lets consider, for a moment. That this model of the world is based on generational decisions, generational beliefs and values, and the understanding that we are programmed from a young age by people around us who mean well. When we are taught about the world through someone else’s lens on reality how do we process and accept what is real? and if we question what’s real and it doesn’t fit, them we show up as the person we think others want us to be. This is where the problem lies. If we are constantly seeking approval and striving to achieve based on someone else’s acceptance of them self, other people and the world in general then we will always be striving to achieve, as we don’t know what constitutes as “good enough”. We become approval seekers and trade our sense of self for the sake of fitting in and in the process lose our identity.

When what we are really seeking is a place to belong, a place to just be.

When we can understand and made sense of our early life experiences, decisions and influences we take control. We move out of isolation and step into embracing voluntary vulnerability., not to be confused with involuntary vulnerability. We then move out of isolation and no longer fear emotional intoxication because we take ownership of our decisions and experience to date. We establish happy content relationships and become a responder instead of a reactor. We create fluidity in our thinking to replace the rigidity and need to judge our self and others. We become authentic and true to our real self.

When we view our battles scars as badges of honour and the former versions of our self as prototypes and research models, we open up a whole new level of being. We finally realise what it’s like to be free, free to choose whatever we want.

Here are my 5 tips to stepping out from the behind the mask and embracing our true and authentic self.

  1. Take time to just be – We spend so much of our time ‘doing’, doing things for others, doing jobs and errands that we feel are our duty and that we must do to serve. This is all great but the person we would benefit from serving the most is our self. The highly effective and evidence based Floatation therapy https://www.clinicalfloatation.com/ provides the perfect environment to do just this. We are human BEINGS in our current global environment it make sense to take the time to just be and in the process find and unlock our inner self. Or perhaps you would prefer to just keep doing. The choice is yours.
  2. Each breath is an opportunity to be inspired – If we expire with our last breath then by default we are inspired by our first. If we view every breath in between is an opportunity to be inspired, that opens up a whole new level of opportunity. The golden thread of life starts right there. Simply bring your attention to your breath and notice how you body gently rises and falls each time. This simple act brings you straight into the present moment where the real opportunities exist.
  3. Check in with yourself – This may sound a little crazy but taking the time to check in with ourself by saying “Hey, how are you?” at least twice a day affords you the opportunity to stop, take stock and really be with yourself. As children we are programmed to stop listening to our body. If we need the toilet in class we are told “No you can wait until lunch” so then psyche the mind tells soma the body to “Shhhh” we go home and we ask Mom for a sandwich and we are told “No wait until dinner” again psyche the mind tells soma the body “Shhhh”. We lose the ability to check in with our whole self, body, min and spirit.
  4. Examine your responses – Stop and think, “Is this response a true reflection of who i am now? Or is this based on a previous version of me who feels their needs are not being met. Stopping yourself and examining your thoughts, feelings and behaviour in this way connects you to a higher level of your being that supports growth and healing
  5. Love yourself for who you are – Forgiveness is the highest form of self love. People think forgiveness is something we give to others when the real power of forgiveness is the ability to forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for the decisions that landed you in that awful situation because every decision you’ve made has been the right decision for you at that time. Forgive yourself for not listening to your quite inner voice, forgive yourself for accepting someone else’s gifts of love and connection when they only ever contained fear and hurt. But most of all forgive yourself for being you.

Just remember the immortal words of Oasis.”I’m free, to be whoever i choose and i’ll sing the blues if i want” The blues allow a melancholy end to the decisions of the past. The real question here is, who are you choosing to be.

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