So, even though you might feel super productive, looking at your busy calendar, it’s a trap. And it goes like this: You’re not truly listening and giving them what they need. They don’t get the result. They won’t recommend you. They won’t return as clients. And you have to fill up your calendar with marketing efforts you could’ve skipped had you taken your time with your existing clients — making sure they get the breakthroughs they signed up for. As a mantra, I have the women who join my elite high-end sales training write down and hang close to their computer: “I give myself permission to slow down, take my time and do everything I do with love” . Because taking your time, lies at the heart of high-end sales.
I had the pleasure to interview Merel Kriegsman. Merel is a business mentor who helps female entrepreneurs sell high-end — so they can make thousands of dollars a day, doing what they absolutely love (AKA, become the Hermes bag of their industry — and charge accordingly). Besides helping women grow their business Merel spends her time growing veggies with her husband and two toddlers in tow on their 160 acre farm in rural Canada.
Thank you so much for joining us Merel. 26% of women and 21% of men feel that they are “always rushed”. Has it always been this way? Can you give a few reasons regarding what you think causes this prevalent feeling of being rushed?
No it hasn’t always been this way:
My husband fondly remembers that when he was young, he would spend entire afternoons on the porch with his grandfather & grandmother:
Shelling peas by hand.
Almost everything we used to do that’s manual, repetitive (and blissfully makes you forget time) — has been automated.
And for those who are successful and can afford it, what hasn’t been automated, is outsourced.
What’s left (and how we make our money) is through our intellectual genius, our ideas.
And yes, brilliant ideas hit you within the span of a second.
But we’ve forgotten that BRILLIANT IDEAS (the kind of ideas that get us out of the rat race included) — take time to germinate.
Just like the land, we need fallow seasons.
But just like in agriculture… fallow seasons are out of fashion.
Dreamtime, fallow seasons, and shelling peas by hand have been replaced with endless to-do lists, and on demand entertainment.
(which BTW, is exactly why my husband and I decided to move to the Canadian countryside, and raise our family while raising a few heads of cattle and growing a big garden every year — teaching them to slow down!).
The reason people feel rushed?
A false sense of what’s most productive (busy, busy, busy) — instead of honoring that the blank spaces in our calendar is what’s needed to be brilliant and fulfilled.
Based on your experience or research can you explain why being rushed can harm our productivity, health, and happiness?
As an expert in high-ticket positioning and sales, here’s what I know for sure:
Rushing harms our businesses.
It threatens the quality of our services.
And it definitely tarnishes the quality of our presence (and beautiful presence and space holding is what people pay for when they make a big investment).
If you are RUSHING to get projects “off your plate”, and you’re “quickly whipping up some social media posts”, and doing last minute voxer replies to your coaching clients?
And they won’t like it.
What clients LOVE (and come back for, and talk about to others) is when you insert extra care and attention above and beyond what the client expects.
And that you can only do when you SLOW DOWN and listen to what it is they need.
So, even though you might feel super productive, looking at your busy calendar, it’s a trap. And it goes like this:
You’re not truly listening and giving them what they need.
They don’t get the result.
They won’t recommend you.
They won’t return as clients.
And you have to fill up your calendar with marketing efforts you could’ve skipped had you taken your time with your existing clients — making sure they get the breakthroughs they signed up for.
As a mantra, I have the women who join my elite high-end sales training write down and hang close to their computer:
“I give myself permission to slow down, take my time and do everything I do with love”
Because taking your time, lies at the heart of high-end sales.
Health & happiness?
We become more of who we are (more brilliant, more fulfilled) when we wander off regularly, be alone and just think.
This cultural- and self imposed rage of to-do lists, responding to every message that hits your inbox, replying to every tag, or mention?
It’s fake productivity.
And it doesn’t contribute to your health, happiness, or bottomline.
On the flip side, can you give examples of how we can do more, and how our lives would improve if we could slow down?
- By prioritizing (and realizing that missing an email or two, is OK)
- By stopping to tie our sense of self-worth to how many things we were able to cross off our to-do lists, and start measuring our happiness and success by how we felt that day (just like Danielle Laporte talks about in her book “The Desire Map”)
So, it’s really not about doing more.
It’s about doing more of what matters (and courageously cutting out the rest).
How our live would improve if we’d slow down?
We would regain a sense of wonder.
Instead of being SO AFRAID to slow down, and be by ourselves (and with our own thoughts) — we’d feel our true feelings.
And this wouldn’t just create a personal breakthrough, but one way more larger than that — because the moment we no longer feel the urge to fill the emptiness with stuff and things to do…
… we’d stop being a consumer society — and that would be a very good thing for planet earth!
I’m also convinced we’d have more brilliant ideas.
The “big silence” is the precursor of brilliance (just think of Einstein!).
We all live in a world with many deadlines and incessant demands for our time and attention. That inevitably makes us feel rushed. Can you share with our readers 6 strategies that you use to “slow down to do more”? Can you please give a story or example for each?
- Stop trying to be everything to everyone + learn to say no (seriously, buy books on the topic if you have to)
- Let the kids be bored: saves you time rushing from one appointment to the next, and it sets up a new generations of people who tap into their own creativity vs. looking for external entertainment. WIN WIN!
- Grow a garden & some patience while you’re at it (get in touch with the time it takes to grow something worthwhile!)
- Stop feeling the need to respond to every email, tag or mention in order to run a profitable business — you don’t.
- BUSINESS: spend the majority of your time keeping your existing clients super happy — so you can cut down the time you need to find new clients because you have tons of return clients and word of mouth leads that come in.
- Self-employed readers: be like me, and plan in a “muse day” one day a week — with nothing planned and everything being possible! It’s the best.
- Hang up the mantra: “I give myself permission to slow down, take the time needed, and do everything I do with love”
How do you define “mindfulness”? Can you give an example or story?
Mindfulness to me as a state of flow.
I lose track of time.
I’m fully absorbed in what I’m doing.
I’m not looking for distractions.
I’m very mindful when I’m doing hot-seats with my group clients.
All of a sudden it’s three hours later.
I’m not tired.
Just fully immersed.
In the movie “The Last Samurai” Tom Cruise’s character Nathan, describes village life and how everything the Japanese villagers do, they do with the utmost concentration, detail and dedication.
That to me is mindful.
Can you give examples of how people can integrate mindfulness into their everyday lives?
Stop thinking that in order to “have it all”, you need to “do it all”.
Just to give an example…
Some of my clients post every single day on social media — even when they’re exhausted and don’t feel like it and they don’t get any clients.
And other women I mentor, take a 3 week social media break over the holidays.
Post one super inspired post come January, and land 5 clients from that single post.
Mindfulness is a result of faith.
Trusting that taking time off, stepping out of the rat race, doesn’t influence your results — that we don’t have to do, do, do in order to have ❤
To remind myself of this, I literally wrote this text from a course in miracles on my wall:
“those who have faith can wait, and wait without anxiety”.
I read that line, exhale and become present in the moment.
Do you have any mindfulness tools that you find most helpful at work?
- Surround yourself with simple mantras and quotes to remind yourself to slow down (like the one I mentioned above!).
- If you can, plan in a “Muse Day” once a week — where you plan nothing in (freedom!).
- Declutter your space (spaciousness in your space, will trigger you to create more spaciousness in how you experience time) — check out Tidying Up with Marie Kondo if you need inspiration!
- Take a full hour lunch break, small breaks, and stop regularly to just take a deep breath and release.
- Take a dance break (I love Rochelle Schieck’s Qoya Love dance videos!)
- batch your time, to avoid ping-ponging!
What are your favorite books, podcasts, or resources that inspire you to use mindfulness tools or practices
May Cause Miracles — Gabby Bernstein
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself (book + mediation)
The Science of Getting Rich
CBD (slows me down when I’m super rushed)
Qoya Love dance videos
Super slow movies (like “Brooklyn” on Netflix!)
Reading novels (so relaxing!)
(basically, what can be described as “senior hobbies” — we all need to take on some senior hobbies to learn how to slow down!!).
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
Those who have faith can wait, and wait without anxiety”
When I want to “rush” the results during a launch.
I had a $150k launch in November, but in the first 48 hours of the sales page going live nobody booked a sales call. I wanted the result to show up faster than it did, and it made me feel SO RUSHED!
Of course, after those 48 hours (and me learning a lesson in un-rushing, and having faith) 50 people booked a sales call and I sold out my program within days.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
My movement? Helping women make more money. Because more money = more power. If women had the same financial clout as men, we wouldn’t need a #metoo movement because the moment women learn how to turn talent into money, it’s like they experience a rite of passage into their own power — and they become unstoppable.