As a child, I had been very curious about everything around me. Every little thing used to intrigue me. Just like any other kid, I wanted to know more and more. The reason why I am sharing this with you is that when we are children, we don’t take what we are given but what we decided to take from our surrounding.
Time passed, I grew up and made new friends. As an eldest, I was expected to be the “giver” instead of a “taker”. So, without knowing, at the back of my mind, I needed constant validation from the people around me and tried my best to fulfil the expectations.
It was difficult for me to say “No” to anyone as I had wired myself that way that I would hurt them while doing so. Little did I know, I was hurting myself.
I could feel that something was no right with me. But, I was no ready to accept that. When you are always the one who is “Model-Child”, so you become “over-giver” even at the cost of compromising your well-being and work. Then, how are you supposed to do better? Right?!
Self-realization followed by self-help, in this case, becomes tough. But, then an “eye-opener” comes and that’s what happened to me in amidst of pandemic. People lost their jobs, houses, in fact, every walk of life was disturbed leaving people helpless. It turned out to be a blessing in disguise in case of my mental well-being. The final push to my self-realization was when a person, who wasn’t a beggar, was in tears in front of me, asking for help. The pandemic has taken everything away from him. He had to feed his family but there was no work so “the hunger and helplessness” had forced him to come out on the road. It was such a reminder that the world needs more empathetic. This was a big incident for me, for it made me question myself that if I can’t help myself with my mental well-being no one would be able to do and eventually I won’t be to do anything.
After quite a research I came down to the few points that are extremely necessary for your well-being because I realized that, it’s never too late to stand up for yourself.
If you had the same struggle as me. This one is for you!.
I am listing down the few lifestyle changes that you need to do for your well-being.
Things You Need to Adopt for Yourself
1. Stop Seeking Validation
I learned it the hard way. But, I am glad I stood up for myself even if it took a lot of years. Constantly seeking validation for whatever you do is extremely harmful to your well-being. Studies have shown that how harmful it is for your self-esteem, personal development and overall interaction with the people.
2. Be Kind to the one in your mind
You all must have heard about the statement that what we appear in front of others might not be what we are with ourselves. We might be kind to others but not with ourselves. You need to love yourself the way you want to treat your loved one. Remember that we forget the flaws of whom we love so why can’t we do it to ourselves?
The first and foremost the one that needs your kindness is Only You.
3. Do Volunteer Work
Now, this was the factor that has helped me with my well-being. COVID-19 further pushed me to come out of my comfort zone and be there for others. My friends and I used to collect donations and provide rations to the ones who had lost their jobs. It was such a contenting work as I was not expecting anything from them. Expectations can really trigger the stress in us and the best way is to cope with it is to take a break. Many studies have proven that people become happier when they volunteer and their well-being boost due to it.
Well, for my case it worked and I am sure that it is going to work for you too.
4. Build a Supportive Circle
Having friends who support you and don’t judge you is really a big deal and blessings in the current era when everyone is so busy. I had such a big social circle but, when I counted my friends, they were really few so again, the pandemic was an opportunity to give myself a break and a chance to work for myself more. People who have optimistic and supportive friends they tend to have a healthy mind.
Your space is your precious sanctuary so you need to make sure who to allow in your space. Don’t feel sorry by removing toxic people in your life.
5. Get a Goal in Life
Having a goal and working for it seems such an adventure until you hit a rock bottom. But, no worries, age is just a number, you can start to have a new goal. I started journaling again and penning down my new goals. Aiming high is perfect. But, make sure they are realistic. Having goals increase your self-worth and self-esteem.
6. Keep a Check on Your Stress
I was a person who would panic over any small thing. Stress is a part of life but unmanaged stressed take a toll on your personality, body and overall mental health. You can opt for any hobby just like I love to paint my nails and it really helps me when I am anxious. Hobbies and lifestyle habits vary from person to person but remember to do what makes you happy. You need to add the spice of laugh in your life as research has proven that a good smile and laugh help you in improving your immune system and reducing the stress.
7. Declutter Yourself
By this, I mean you need to declutter yourself from the social media or anything that make you feel that “You are not Enough”. I know it is a hard pill to swallow, but even I fell victim of it and this worsened the case of validation and had severely affected my peace of mind. It took a lot for me to change it but I am glad I did. You need to break the monotonous routine and opt for a good hobby that makes you happy.
8. Take a Holiday From Thoughts
I know, it is easier said than done. But, it is really important. Overthinking is rust for a person’s well-being as it only leads to anxiety and then depression. You can opt for mind relaxing games, exercise, yoga, meditation or even spiritual prayers. It is even proven by research that meditation and prayers help in calming your nerves and boost your mental well-being.
9. Seek Help, It won’t make you look weak
Last, but not the least, don’t shy away from seeking help when it became over-whelming reach out to a counsellor or psychiatrist and seek help.
It’s Perfectly Okay to be Not Okay!
Take Away Note
I am pretty sure that you all must have already known about these things, even then you must be thinking why you are you not taking a stand for yourself? Right?!
So, let me remind you that, it is still not too late. You can start from now and make a pledge with me that you won’t look down on yourself. For if you do that to yourself how would you be able to do better for whom you care?