I remind myself it’s never about me. Sometimes I have to get an outside opinion. It’s best to stay inside of yourself most of the time. However, there are times when I take what they taught me AA to heart: “Your mind is like a dangerous neighborhood never go there alone” I go and I ask somebody “Are you giving me the cold shoulder or is it just me?”
I apologize quickly if I wrong someone.
People are constantly feeling others harmed them. Most people think everything is about them. Honest, open and transparent, clearly defined communication.
Ask clarifying questions. If you don’t understand, ask people to explain. They’ll feel understand and heard. I was afraid to ask because I didn’t want to seem either stupid of judgmental. But we all have our own personal language and use different words differently.
People are very insecure and that rubbed off on me when I first became homeless. If someone cares about me, they will care about my mission and what I’m doing with my time. They will spend some of their time (when I’m not around or trying to force them to) watching, commenting on and sharing my YouTube channel, podcast or other mediums I work hard on. They will do it because they want to, and they enjoy me, not because I tried to beg them and they feel sorry for me. Just as I know that when I care for someone, I invest time in them when they’re not around me, by looking into the things that are important to them. So, moving to different states doesn’t faze me anymore. And I only depend on myself to be my cheerleader and give myself pep talks and enjoy what I do.
I also have to remember that people are very insecure, it’s not about me & I have to give love sometimes just by smiling or saying “Hi Andrew”. Or insert the person’s name here.
Signs I’m becoming overwhelmed
Anger seemingly out of nowhere, constantly craving sugar, always tired, more pain in my body, memory loss, distracted easily, digestive distress, Jumpy, defensive, complaining , depression, negativity that permeates me & keeps me from creating.
Things that deplete me
Needless conversations, Men staring when I’m working and they’re supposed to be, negative people/complainers
My own negative thinking “It’s not working” “Why is this taking so long?” “Why don’t people appreciate my art?” “Where are all my friends? Why don’t they help me with my art so I don’t have to sleep outside anymore?” “Why are people so selfish taking my time and not contributing to my career or commenting on my YouTube channel?”
Feeling sorry for people & people-pleasing.
Doing too much instead of focusing all my attention on ONE of my arts because I haven’t made progress or seen success.
Avoiding my challenges until they get to the point where it’s very complicated and time consuming to fix.
Avoiding people I care for (whether they care about me or not)
Avoiding good people and places because I care about them or like them so much that I’m afraid to mess it up.
How I keep my mental battery charged. I’m never depleted.
Stay grateful. Lack of focus is due to a lack of gratitude.
Love others but don’t take too much of their time. Saying “no” sometimes by smiling & saying “hi”. Then walking away so I can get things done and they can too, because they don’t know how to say “no”. So I have to do it for them. I stopped being selfish.
Keep my phone constantly on “Do not disturb” so I can concentrate on my art, I do almost everything on my phone, including speech to text for articles & scripts for my YouTube channel, podcasts, IGTV & other video mediums.
It recharges me when I feel accomplished, which comes from faith—meaning knowing I can do it, thanking God in advance for it and keep working even though I don’t see results.
I am grateful for my future husband, even though I may never have met him yet. I am the best wife ever that keeps me working hard, with no results, no monetary compensation, no appreciation or even feedback for what I do sometimes. I know I’m getting good! And it’s taken a long time to get where I’m at. 4 ½ years all while I’ve been homeless and dealing with health issues, moving to 3 different states and getting rid of toxic people. It’s been very lonely.
It’s only a matter of time and I envision that day when I start to be appreciated for my art, my music, my podcasts, my YouTube channel, all my articles. I see my 1970 boss 302 Mustang named Maverick. I see my big black private jet flying my husband and I to Africa so we can live with the people, learn Swahili better, cook with them, eat with them, cry and laugh with them, enjoy the land & the animals that God created without all the buildings, like the USA. I want to take the time to enjoy everybody’s company. I want to create communities everywhere I go that empower people to be their highest selves & be happy doing what they love! You’re worth it!
Here is a list of things I do for self-care that helps me decompress, or shut my mental operating system down and reset.
1) Eating Healthy
2) Thinking & speaking healthy thoughts to and about myself and others
4) Journaling—and affirmations—basically, a lot of thinking and focusing on the good stuff and how to improve it
5) Massage my feet and hands
6) Dancing & singing & creating my own music
7) chewing gum
8) Writing or creating another type of my art
9) Listen to someone else talk in person or Podcast
10) Lotion or brushing my hair
11) Remembering a time when something really good happened or something really funny just something small in every day conversation
12) Thinking about someone I care about even though I believe most ifzero people care for me
13) Supporting the friends are either YouTube channel or the music singing them a message like Mark Twain said if you want to be happy make someone else happy
14) Read, research or think about a project I’ve been wanting to complete or start
15) Changing location–creativity flows
What things do you do to keep your mental battery charged? Talk to me in the comments! We can all help each other here! Team work makes the dream work! You’re worth it! Check out my self-care and self-love vlogs on my youtube channel! You’re worth it!