Meet to Marry by Bari Lyman: Book Review

What a novel concept: "Be the One to Find the One!" 

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Bari Lyman has written an instructional guide to help us, non-married folks, to overcome our flaws which are holding us back from being the one person someone else would love to fall in love with. The Meet to Marry rationality is one that methodologies dating as an antecedent to marriage and that urges the daters to search for a more profound, enduring and more important love while picking their lifetime accomplice. Her writing style is engaging, and I felt as though my best friend and I were sitting at the kitchen table talking over my flaws.

I can compare this novel with a Flannery O’Connor’s story “A Good Man is Hard to Find”. It’s a worldwide example of classical literature. In the way, if you don’t know a plot of this book (oh, come on!), I recommend you to read a short analysis (for example here: and continue reading my post.

A few of Bari Lyman’s statements resounded with me as they were mottoes for my life such as

“What you think (both consciously and unconsciously) is the primary determining factor in what and who shows up for you.”

Wow! So if I think positive thoughts and project a happy image then I will attract a happy, positive person; however, if I am critical, evasive, unkind, or cynical, then like a mirror that is what I will attract.

See, I learned something from this book!

I enjoyed reading her “Dating Myths” and found myself agreeing wholeheartedly with most of what Ms. Lyman had to say.

For example “Dating Myth No. 2: You are confused because your parents are divorced.” Well, yes, and exactly how long can I go on blaming my parents for any of *my* issues? *another very cheeky grin just for my mama!*

And Dating Myth No. 1 – right out of the gate, Bari Lyman gives it to us straight “Men are not the problem.” No. We each have the issues that must be tackled, dealt with head on so we can move on to be the best person possible to attract the best person reasonable.

It was fascinating learning so much about the Jewish culture as Ms. Lyman shared several Jewish practices of meeting and dating a potential spouse.

Some of the case studies and long-lasting marriages referred to throughout the book made me want to consider Judaism. And I say that total tongue in cheek! It was interesting to learn how Ms. Lyman and her husband of eight years met, dated, did not move in together and then married.

As a tiny aside – I was not thrilled with the cover. I still cannot formulate the words to describe why.

Yes, it’s quirky and eye-catching. Yes, it could appeal to both male and female I suppose. But (and maybe it is because I am taking a Diversity and World Culture course right now) but the cover (I think) would only appeal to a specific gender, race, class, and age. I’m just sayin’

With all that said – are you in the market for a spouse? Have you been looking and nothing seems to work out as planned? Pick up Meet to Marry and get yourself the best that you can be so you are attracting the best out there. And let me know what you think – and if it worked…

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