//

Matchmaker Susan Trombetti on why you can’t take every client that comes your way; You have to pick and choose

This one is a tough one to learn. You can’t take every client that comes your way. You have to pick and choose. Your time is valuable, and this is a personalized service. Pick the ones that are the most realistic because you can’t work for someone that ties your hand behind your back. Sometimes, […]


This one is a tough one to learn. You can’t take every client that comes your way. You have to pick and choose. Your time is valuable, and this is a personalized service. Pick the ones that are the most realistic because you can’t work for someone that ties your hand behind your back. Sometimes, there is a reason they are single. They can’t hire you to tell you what to do to find them love. It didn’t work for them, and it won’t work for them telling you how to work. I know you want to please people, but by the time they have weeded out ninety-nine percent of the population, you will end up with their same results.


I had the pleasure to interview Susan Trombetti, Matchmaker and CEO Of ExclusiveMatchmaking.net. Susan has been seen on Doctor Oz, HLN, Fox, ABC, NBC, ABC, Cosmopolitan, NYPost, Washington Post, Today, and Bravo to name a few. As a leading celebrity matchmaker, relationship expert, and CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking, Susan has helped discerning singles across the country discover long-term relationships and partnerships that are both rewarding and fulfilling. When it comes to all-things-love, Susan is the person to speak with. In addition to her work with clients looking for love, Susan also specializes in assisting the rich, famous, and Hollywood’s A-Listers in their romantic life. Whether it is advice on trust, letting a loved one into their personal lives or how to tell a con artist apart, Susan has a diverse range of clients and experiences in her field. As an expert in the field of professional matchmaking, Susan is also a sought-out relationship investigator with experience in tracking, data analysis, and lying detection techniques. So, when it comes to tracking a cheater, knowing if you are being “catfished”, or the case of the disappearing act, Susan Trombetti is your go-to expert. She uses her special techniques when interviewing potential matches beyond what a basic background check might reveal.


Thank you so much for joining us Susan! Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?

As always, when I owned an investigations company, people would ask me for little investigative favors. I worked more for banks and companies, and my specialty was fraudulent portfolios. I didn’t do domestic cases and wasn’t a private investigator, but people I would meet would always ask me to find an old friend or long-lost love. One day, a little old lady asked me to find the love of her life from when she was a very young girl in Paris. She was involved with a military man during the war and had a passionate love affair. It was over 50 years later, and she never forgot him. Her mother had caught drift of the affair and pulled her home to Cape Town, South Africa. They had been abruptly separated and never ever saw each other again. I found him that night and called him. When I asked him if she was the love of his life, he said there had never been another. I was stunned only to find out he never married all those years. I reconnected them that night. Years later, when the economy tanked and credit worthy people couldn’t get loans, much less con artists, I had time to think what I really wanted to do because business was slower. I started thinking what I could do that I might enjoy that was more rewarding. I remembered this couple I reconnected and thought if I could find people, I could find love for people and thought I would do matchmaking. It was so rewarding as opposed to chasing cons and criminals. So, I started my matchmaking company and now am one of the top matchmakers and celebrity matchmakers in the business. I am also the only relationship investigator: I merged my two talents and do my own checks on people along with my own proprietary interviews and such. It works very well, and this is why the extremely wealthy use me to vet the people they are allowing into their personal life.

Can you share your story of Grit and Success? First, can you tell us a story about the hard times that you faced when you first started your journey?

Let me start with the fact that I was a single parent when I started my investigations company. It’s tough. I gained a lot of weight because I simply didn’t take care of myself. I am still working on a work-life balance and think it will always be a work in progress. When it comes to starting your own matchmaking business, no one tells you it’s going to be tough. It’s love and that should be basic. It’s still a business though and needs to make money. There is a sexy allure that draws a lot of people to you for all the wrong reasons. You have to survive and it’s all on your shoulders. I worked more than the average entrepreneur I have been told. You have employees and the buck stops with you, and their livelihood depends on you. Whatever your weaknesses are, you need to overcome them quickly. For me, the investigations business gave me a good background for running a successful business, but I wasn’t prepared for this business. I work even harder at this business as if that was possible. Both were niche kind of businesses and it’s tough to get trained employees. When I first started matchmaking, there wasn’t a matchmaker on every corner to tell you the career path. You are on your own with your own business instincts. Of course, I made lots of mistakes. You want to give up, but you have to pick yourself up and keep going. It’s an emotional business, and you have to maintain your own emotions in order to be successful and thrive. I was the sort of person that although outgoing, I didn’t want to put myself out there at first. It was a huge adjustment. You have to put yourself out there and go for it when it comes to marketing and social media, which seemed so weird at first.

Where did you get the drive to continue even though things were so hard?

I think the drive to succeed is hard-wired in me and all entrepreneurs. You never give up. You just find ways around your business problems. The word “no” doesn’t exist for me. I will just find a way to make it a “YES”. There is no problem that I won’t figure out how to solve.

So how did Grit lead to your eventual success? How did Grit turn things around?

I was a young, single mother totally on my own. I always worked hard and sometimes worked 2 or 3 jobs. I think when you are self-employed and you need the money, you just work harder and harder because you don’t want to ever turn away money. I learned this as a single parent to keep going and do what “ya gotta do.” It really prepared me for business. You just know you have to do it, see it through, and be able to pay the bills. One day, all the work ethic pays off, but you still don’t stop working because you have established that work ethic and work like you still have to pay the rent. It really helps with every aspect of running a business. It gave me a lot of confidence to say I can do whatever I want in life and business.

So, how are things going today? 🙂

Wonderful. I have a charmed life that I am grateful for, that I worked hard to have. The business is thriving, and I have established myself, my brand, and my company as an elite semi-international matchmaking company that can find you the love of your life. I am one of few matchmakers out there that can actually get the job done consistently, time after time. I really feel there is only a handful and I am one of them.

Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?

I remember a celeb wanted matchmaking, and I was so intimidated I turned them away because I was only local at that point. I was so befuddled. It was in the beginning, and I am not normally even like that but just wasn’t prepared for it. I think of it as funny now. Totally missed the boat because I didn’t even think of my company as national at that point. Another time, someone copied a big studio head on an email that wanted matchmaking, and I missed it for a bit.

What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?

My status as a relationship investigator has always separated me from the rest, as well as the high-end networks I can assess to recruit matches from. Most people don’t have access to the types of place I recruit my matches from. I have had people hand me over contracts along with payment to tell me there are going exclusive with someone they just met and are dating but wanted me to check them out. Once, I checked the person out and they weren’t who they said they were, of course. It’s their name, but they have totally misled the client to believe they own estates that have been sheriffed saled off and they are jobless, living on someone’s couch after my client’s money. This guy quoted Richard Gere’s job straight out of Pretty Woman: He takes companies apart for a living. It was such a con.

Also. I once matched a celeb on her first match, and she was pregnant within 2 months. I thought that was pretty quick, and although I would usually advocate for the couple not to go at such warp speed and to take time to get to know each other before children, they are happy in love. It makes me happy.

Which tips would you recommend to your colleagues in your industry to help them to thrive and not “burn out”?

This one is a tough one to learn. You can’t take every client that comes your way. You have to pick and choose. Your time is valuable, and this is a personalized service. Pick the ones that are the most realistic because you can’t work for someone that ties your hand behind your back. Sometimes, there is a reason they are single. They can’t hire you to tell you what to do to find them love. It didn’t work for them, and it won’t work for them telling you how to work. I know you want to please people, but by the time they have weeded out ninety-nine percent of the population, you will end up with their same results.

None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story?

Of course, I am grateful to my husband for always listening to me. He never solves my problems though. Lots of men in my opinion are conservative and accustomed to operating within a traditional business environment, and some of them laughed at me at first and didn’t take me seriously. I call them “the suits”, and they have no idea how to operate outside of that traditional space. Not my husband though. When it comes to starting a matchmaking company, it’s such a foreign concept and business to even him. My husband didn’t understand it but was very supportive, even though he doesn’t get the first thing about it because he is traditional. He cheered me on and kept me going. Some of these naysayer men wanted in my business though when it became successful, and my husband asked what do they know about the “Love” business? He was against it and said don’t do it, they will be out on the golf course. LOL! Some of these same men later came to me though for advice after they established some not so traditional businesses.

How have you used your success to bring goodness to the world?

My company from day one has established a giving and charitable aspect to what we do. We have sponsored a lot of events that are charitable in nature, thrown our own events supporting a charity, and attend many charitable functions. Our sponsorships are around charitable causes that support children and sometimes animals. Since we are based in Maryland, we have supported John’s Hopkins Children’s center as one of our favorites.

What are your “5 things I wish someone told me before I started my company” and why. Please share a story or example for each.

  1. Have a plan for work life balance. It’s going to be worse than having children. As a woman, it’s tough to have time for yourself when you have a baby, and this is so much more than that. I learned to step back to exercise and have a healthier lifestyle.
  2. Make sure you know a good amount about every aspect of your business. You have to run your business. I didn’t know marketing and PR, or my way around the backend of my website, or even SEO. You need to know and learn a decent amount to know that your business is running smoothly or even how to hire the correct expert. You can’t be in the dark or your business will suffer. I trusted way too many people that way too long doing a job that seemed like magic because I didn’t know the first thing about it.
  3. Trust your gut but also don’t be afraid to take risks. I knew this already but coming into a new industry and not knowing the ropes, you tend to forget that you will learn from your failures and this makes you feel more sure of yourself. It all leads to success. I took on too many sponsorships at first where people didn’t give what they promised our company as part of the sponsorship. You aren’t getting my money now.
  4. You can’t be great at every aspect of your business, so don’t be afraid to hire someone where you fall short. I would take on aspects of the company such as marketing or PR and it only increases the work load and takes longer because it’s not your specialty. I once spent a long time navigating MailChimp. For some reason, even though it’s user friendly, I spent a lot of time learning it. I will say I know it well now, but still, I should have spent my time in the areas where I am the strongest.
  5. When hiring people, hire people with different strengths than your own. You need a diverse pool of talent. I don’t make this mistake anymore because I am mindful to hire people with different areas of expertise. I learned that in order to run a company well, you have to pass the baton to others. Like a relationship, everyone needs to bring unique talent to the pool to keep it as dynamic as possible.

You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂

In today’s world of addiction, there are so many people that have become addicted to drugs and they suffer with great potential wasting away as their family stands by struggling, as well in shameful silence. I wouldn’t reinvent the wheel, so I would borrow something along the lines of Hands Across America once a year with everyone standing in solidarity against the companies pushing their drugs, the dealers dealing it, the doctors prescribing it, and so forth to draw attention to it so we could lend support and money to this problem. I would have “The A- Team” by Ed Sheeran streaming much the same where there was a theme song before on the radio. I would want to take away the stigma for the families dealing with it in silence, and the person addicted trying to recover. People suffer in silence not knowing what to do, and we need to support them and their families so they wouldn’t feel it was a dirty, shameful secret. Get it out in the open. I loved the ice bucket challenge. There is power in social media and it could really take hold. The families that have lost a loved one also need to feel the support and care to get through tough times after losing someone to drugs.

Share your comments below. Please read our commenting guidelines before posting. If you have a concern about a comment, report it here.

You might also like...

Community//

Tips From The Top: One On One With Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger

by Adam Mendler
Community//

“Smile, you can’t imagine how it can change your day or someone else’s” With Matchmaker Eileen Fisher

by Yitzi Weiner
Well-Being//

How Emotional Agility Can Improve Your Relationship

by The Gottman Institute

Sign up for the Thrive Global newsletter

Will be used in accordance with our privacy policy.

Thrive Global
People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.

- MARCUS AURELIUS

We use cookies on our site to give you the best experience possible. By continuing to browse the site, you agree to this use. For more information on how we use cookies, see our Privacy Policy.