Purpose//

Mastering Your Best Life Is So Much More Than Just Letting Go

Stop comparing so you can truly let go and finally get a grip.

Westend61/Getty Images
Westend61/Getty Images

The basics to be covered…

  • Take time to reflect, adjust, and take positive action.
  • The two ways to increase happiness immediately are to show gratitude and stop comparing yourself to others.
  • When we stop comparing we can start creating.
  • If we are focused, we can create the life we are meant to have.
  • Accomplishing your true potential can be systematic if you follow this process. 

Time combined with action is the great equalizer.

Sometimes when we are going through a rough time, not exactly where we want to be, it looks like it is never going to end. Our life is not what we had dreamed, yet.

We know we need to remember that:

“That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” -Friedrich Nietzsche

It is hard to do. It is not easy. Clichés are lame, but often true.

We just need to keep going. Sometimes we need mentors. Sometimes we need a good book. We always need reflection and other times we just need a better mental framework.

But we always need to just keep going, because we know that: 

“It is always darkest just before the dawn.” -Thomas Fuller

So if you know that, now reflect, reevaluate, learn something new, and most important take new action. Take bold action.

You need to know where to look.

You can only find something if you look for it where it is. Not where it was, or where you think it should be, but actually where it is.

Everyone talks about happiness. Few that search actually find.

That is because the act of searching outside of yourself for an internal feeling will never work.

Happiness comes from within, it comes from contentment, gratitude, and being present. If you are present in the moment and appreciative of all you have, then your happiness will naturally flow.

Comparison leads to unhappiness and insecurity.

Comparison is dangerous because it leads to envy and jealousy and is the enemy of gratitude.

Since you don’t know what others are going through, stop judging their success. Everyone is on a completely different road.

And as Steve Furtick teaches: 

“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind the scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.”

The only person you should try to be is the best version of yourself.

Your current happiness will always be crushed by comparing yourself to others.

Fighting the temptation to compare will give you room to create.

“Live as if you were living a second time, and as though you had acted wrongly the first time.”   -Victor Frankl

Comparison always steals away joy, erases creativity, and eliminates contentment.

If you are constantly trying to be a version of someone else, your imagination will evaporate.

Albert Einstein thinks that is a bad idea since he said that: 

“Imagination is more important than knowledge.”

When you are free to be yourself, every aspect of your life will improve.

What is inside of you is so much more powerful than what is behind or to the side of you. Focus on your potential and you will find the greatness that is in front of you.

You don’t need to do what others do, you don’t need to be what others want you to be.

The worst way to spend your time is wishing your life was someone else’s. Each minute thinking about the life you could have is a minute wasted. Create your own life and don’t worry about anything else.

True success is measured by what you do with what you have and how you feel about your current situation. It has nothing to do with anyone else. Love who you are. Your story is unique. You need to own your story, own your results, and own your journey.

When we compare what we have to others we get depressed.

When we appreciate what we have we feel happy.

Your job is to create, to produce, to help, to serve. If you are doing those things you don’t have time to compare yourself to others.

If we are comparing ourself to others, we are focused on the wrong things.

Deliberate Focus

“Stay focused, go after your dreams and keep moving toward your goals.” – LL Cool J

Everyone knows that one of the most important laws of nature is that what we focus on always expands. Focus is what allows us to take the right actions. Actions lead to confidence. The more action you take, the more confidence you will create. So increasing your focus is vital.

We say something is important. Yet we do the opposite? Our calendars and schedules prove what is actually important to us.

If coaching your team is important, you will coach them. You will not let thousands of emails or endless meetings get in your way.

If selling is important to you, you will sell. You will not let fires, planning, research, and call reluctance get in your way.

If your family is important, you won’t hide behind your career as providing for them, you will find out what they truly need and provide that.

In order to focus properly, you need to gain control and discipline. Attention management is the practice of controlling what you focus on. It is a deliberate practice of aligning your values to your actions.

In the end, combining your thoughts and actions together will create magic.

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” – Mahatma Gandhi

To get our thoughts right, we must have a clean slate to work from. This requires letting go.

You need to let go of:

Fear.

Image.

Regret.

Excuses.

Familiarity.

Materialism.

Self-deception.

Negative people.

Others’ Expectations.

Letting go of those things is what allows you to stop comparing. Letting go brings freedom. When you let go, you can finally be yourself. You can finally live life on your terms. You will be ready to reach your potential.

How to let go:

Serve others.

Go for a walk.

Meditate/Pray.

Learn a new skill.

Read a great book.

Do intense physical activity.

Focus on your achievements. 

Visualize your future success.

Stop thinking about what others think.

Develop a daily morning and evening routine.

Get creative: draw, paint, write, build, create.

Plan for your true goals and the actions required to accomplish them.

Once you let go, then you need to take action. The first and most important next step is to show gratitude. Showing gratitude opens your mind, your heart, and your ability.

Actionable ways to show gratitude:

Say thanks.

Encourage a friend.

Encourage a stranger.

Write a thank you note.

Smile at those you meet.

Introduce people to each other.

Compliment someone in public.

Compliment someone in private.

Record and send thank you messages.

Make a thank you video and send it.

Make a gratitude video and watch it daily.

Do something kind for every person you see.

Write down who you are thankful for in a journal.

Write down what you are thankful for in a journal.

Gratitude is proof you care. Caring for others is all about gratitude in action. It is proof of how you see the world and see others.

Taking proper action always produces results.

“Because if you are the mess, you can clean it. Improvement doesn’t depend on others.” – The Arbinger Institute

Once you are unburdened by the plague of comparison, and you have opened your heart and mind with gratitude, you are now ready to truly focus. You can take responsibility, which leads to better decisions and proper actions.

Taking the correct actions requires deliberate focus and preparation. You need to know what you want and then plan the steps it will take to get there.

Consistent action is needed. Consistency is what is required. Consistency will produce long-term success.

Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.” – Will Rogers

5 Steps 

These are the 5 steps that will help you accomplish more than you ever thought possible.

  1. Every day write down your goals. Every night write down your goals.
  2. Rank them in order of importance.
  3. Every night write down the 3 most important actions you will take that will help you accomplish your #1 goal.
  4. In the morning, once you start working, don’t do anything else until you do those three things.
  5. Repeat every day, adjust as needed.

When you do these things, you will be able to align your values, dreams, and actions together.

This alignment is what brings achievement, contentment, satisfaction, and happiness. Take the time you need to reflect on who you are and what you want. Take the time to reflect on your past achievements. Let go of the things that are holding you back. Show gratitude. Plan for success and take proper action.

As you stay focused, as you reflect, as you let go, you find everything you need and want.

As you do this, know that:

“Successful people maintain a positive focus in life no matter what is going on around them. They stay focused on their past successes rather than their past failures, and on the next action steps they need to take to get them closer to the fulfillment of their goals rather than all the other distractions that life presents to them.” – Jack Canfield

Remember that you are strong enough. You are good enough. You can overcome every challenge. You will succeed because the actions you take will be aligned with your values. Keep going. You can. You will. 

P.S.:  

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