Turning 50 has come and gone like a shooting star. Rather than burning up and dropping out of sight, I’ve invested in personal and professional growth to create a vision for a bright future.
I’ve been a massage therapist and yoga teacher for 24 years. Both have given me great experience serving people. Thanks to God, I enjoy what I do and feel blessed. However, my life has changed a lot since the beginning of this work. I’m now a wife and mommy with different demands on my time. I’ve been sensing a growing need for change that aligns with my life purpose in a pleasurable way while creating more financial and time freedom.
It’s been a fun and challenging treasure hunt exploring my head and heart for answers to big questions like; “What would I like to do next?”, “What could I be good at?”, “What do I want and why?”.
I wanted my answers to be authentically aligned at a soul level and not from the external noise from others. So, I began tapping into spiritual and holistic methods. It felt natural looking for answers using prayer, meditation, hypnosis, Neuro-Linguistic programming and other techniques. During this process, my unconscious mind drew me back to a time in my late 20’s.
I was sitting in a stale gray classroom. My body trying hard to relax into a stiff plastic chair behind rows and rows of tables with 40 or so other occupied chairs. The intense, confident alpha male voice of a corporate sales trainer was addressing us newly hired personal trainers. “What are you passionate about?” He asks. “You need to know so you can create your “goals” and your “why” in order to push through in challenging times and come out successful!”. My answer came fast and easy straight from my heart and out my mouth. “I’m passionate about people. I love helping people and seeing them transform and grow”. I remember feeling like I was in the right place, at the right time, doing the right thing. Until, I heard him speak directly to me, “You can’t be passionate about people! It needs to be something more tangible like cars, travel, or the like.”
My warm heart was deflated by his words that penetrated like darts hitting a bullseye. I looked around the room to see if others agreed with him. No one seemed to disagree. I fell quiet. I allowed myself to believe him more than I believed in myself. What I didn’t understand at the time, was even though it wasn’t the right answer for him, it was the right answer for me.
Helping others create transformations and reach their goals was more than a sales job to me. It was work that was meaningful and gave my life purpose and joy. What truly fulfills me is more spiritual in nature and not material.
Back then, I was preoccupied with what others thought, wanted, needed, and believed. I wasn’t giving my own inner knowing a voice in my life. The same qualities and strengths that made me so good at helping others were a detriment to me when out of balance. I held others in higher esteem than myself.
Through testing, I discovered that my top strengths are empathy, achiever and developer of people. Knowing this, I could see how perfectly aligned my earlier answers really were for me. I started to embrace them and began to trust myself. I also realized how much I enjoy and value connection with others. I can create that same loving connection with mySelf.
Some lessons that helped me get clarity and enjoy the process:
- Having healthy boundaries. The “You’re you, I’m me” kind of gentle boundary that respects others and respects self. The two don’t always have to agree.
- Being true to self. Honoring my beliefs, values, needs and interests establishes trust in myself and aligns me with my highest good.
- Not rushing the process. Learning important lessons and exploring options takes time and grace. Patience and kindness is required and extreme-self-care.
- Being intentional about selecting mentors when investing in myself.
- Listening to my intuition. Recognizing my own inner knowing and voice by feeling into my heart and listening for when my gut says, “Yes!” or, “hmmm-nah, don’t think so”.
- Finding confidence from within, in stillness and quietness.
- Looking for the good in all things. Cultivating a heart of hope and gratitude.
- My inner authority gives me outer authority. I don’t need others’ permission to be me. Stepping into more of my own authority is powerful. Learning to wield that power with grace, strength and joy is courageous mojo.
I wouldn’t call it a midlife crisis or even a midlife transformation but rather simply becoming more of who I was created to be and loving myself at every stage.
I can confidently say, “My passion is helping people and encouraging their growth and joyful transformations. I trust myself more. I am better able to use my strengths and talents in ways that align with my desire to live with purpose and bliss. I believe in me, and my future is bright!”.