Managing Our Feelings During This Crisis

This time I am not waiting, I am mourning now.

I have been seeking out people’s coping mechanisms on social media during this crisis. With both joy and envy, I’ve watched people baking (for some reason banana bread seems prevalent), exercising and, not surprisingly, enjoying the comfort of their newly adopted dogs.

While we are all dealing with this in our own ways, I thought my past experiences might be helpful for any of you struggling to manage your feelings.

Since I have been hunkered down, I have been spending a lot of time thinking of other times in my life that were catastrophic: my college years during the AIDS epidemic, the premature birth of our twin boys and the death of our son Boaz, 9/11, my beloved, eldest sibling Linda dying of cancer. For me, each of these communal and personal events came on without my being properly prepared for dealing with them, nor did I understand how to effectively heal and mourn afterwards. Each time sadness draped tightly over me until finally, I had taken it on like a second skin.

For this slow, painful crisis I am steadying myself to act differently. Daily, I am trying to be more aware of how sad I am, allowing myself to be angry. Not feeling like making everything seem normal makes everything normal. Not trying to, or caring to, be productive. This time I recognize my old nemeses doom and despair trying to creep in. I, also, am allowing myself, albeit guiltily, the beautiful moments I am getting to spend with my family, cherishing the time my two boys are able to be together.

This time I am not waiting, I am mourning now.

I have had enough experiences to fend off being blind to this calamity’s effect on me. By not ignoring how horrific this all is, when it’s over I won’t have self-isolated from myself; that when we are free, I don’t keep myself imprisoned in my own fear, sadness and rage. I’ve done that. This time I won’t continue sheltering in place. 

With Love,

Click Here to order my book, “Gay Like Me”

Click Here to visit my website for a list of upcoming events and to sign up to receive my newsletter.

    Share your comments below. Please read our commenting guidelines before posting. If you have a concern about a comment, report it here.

    You might also like...

    Community//

    Reset, Refocus, Reflect

    by Nicki Anderson
    Community//

    Working from home, homeschooling, staying at home, are not the same things! And we are not all in the same boat.

    by Ana Pompa Alarcón Rawls
    Decorated Kids' Food Basket bags
    Community//

    Chaos to Kindness

    by Maya Smith

    Sign up for the Thrive Global newsletter

    Will be used in accordance with our privacy policy.

    Thrive Global
    People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.

    - MARCUS AURELIUS

    We use cookies on our site to give you the best experience possible. By continuing to browse the site, you agree to this use. For more information on how we use cookies, see our Privacy Policy.