Loving yourself means to accept yourself fully as a being in flux. When you embrace that the multiple dimensions of being human are always in a flow of change, it no longer feels relevant to self-loathe. Accepting something exactly as it is, empowers you to decide to change what you’ve outgrown or what no longer works. Loving yourself, then, means getting in the powerful Universal flow of becoming the most awesome of you.
I had the pleasure of interviewing Tracee Dunblazier, GC-C. Tracee is a Los Angeles based spiritual empath, shaman, and national award-winning and best-selling author of The Demon Slayer’s Handbook Series and the Rainbow Warrior Activation Deck. As a multi-sensitive, Tracee’s blend of intuitive information combined with different modalities has been the opportunity for thousands to achieve deep healing and create the success and peace they seek in their daily lives. Tracee’s compassionate, humorous, down-to-earth style empowers clients and readers to address tender topics with courage, clarity, and joy. Tracee is consistently called upon for expert commentary on spirituality and relationships for the media.
Thank you so much for joining us! Let’s Get Intimate! I’d love to begin by asking you to give us the backstory as to what brought you to this specific career path.
I was a born a spiritual empath and spiritualist and came to my career path in an unlikely fashion. I’ve always had an ultra-awareness of relationship dynamics and an interest in the occult since early childhood. One night at a friend’s birthday party, I was asked to read the birthday girls palm. A look of surprise rolled over her face as I spoke, and soon a crowd gathered around. Standing in the middle of a cluster of forty, many began waving their palms at me for reading.
It wasn’t just the information that was flowing-in, it was the healings that were triggered by the energy of the experience. About a year down the road, the job offers began to surface — being paid professionally for my psychic skill-set. Within another year, I was gaining the respect of my clients and colleagues and inspiring a referral-based-private-practice, all over the globe, that has continued for the past 25 years.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you hope that they might help people along their path to self-understanding or a better sense of wellbeing in their relationships?
My latest project, in-addition-to GoTracee Publishing sponsoring a co-operative booth (https://www.BeASlayer.com) for a selection of best-selling spiritual-healing memoirs and indie authors at the LA Times Festival of Books in April, I am working on my fourth title on karmic relationships. The culturally relevant topic of Volume Three of my series, The Demon Slayer’s Handbook, is expected to be released in 2020. I am thrilled to fully indulge this subject with the care and detail it deserves. Everyone has relationship patterns that reverberate through certain aspects of their life, partnerships, and especially within their relationship to themselves.
I understand that from a spiritual perspective, the thing we call self-esteem isn’t always indicative of how we feel about ourselves, but more importantly, it is our spiritual relationships that set-us-up for the parameters of how we can feel about ourselves. The limitations of our culture and upbringing in combination with our ingrained soul patterns are the actual blueprint that affects how we relate to everything. Until we break down the patterns and how we use them, into pieces, our self-image often suffers. The goal is to transform or integrate each one until we have complete self-acceptance.
Do you have a personal story that you can share with our readers about your struggles or successes along your journey of self-understanding and self-love? Was there ever a tipping point that triggered a change regarding your feelings of self-acceptance?
I think it’s possible for self-love and self-loathing to exist in the same space, in fact, I believe self-loathing is the beginning process of understanding what it means to love and accept yourself in the physical realm. To that end, the rape I endured as an eighteen-year-old virgin launched me into a profound decade-long-battle with rage, self-loathing, and food.
Luckily, I found myself in New York City, a place deeply evolved in its ability to accept people as they come — so well versed in honesty and compassion that I found a mentor to guide me through my pain around every corner. The tipping point for me came my ninth year living in Harlem — where a group of young men had recently posted themselves, in the midnight hours, on the corner of the block where I lived. They’d decided to have their fun by chasing me into my building, almost every night, as I arrived home in a cab from my waitressing gig, that final year in the City.
The rage I’d relied on to carry me through my fear had diminished considerably and I realized I had a choice to make. I could choose hate, anger, and fear, or I could learn to live with love as my foundation. Ultimately, I chose to accept what had happened to me and grieve the loss of the life I wanted and the person I wanted to be and accept the powerful person I’d become in-spite of my circumstances. I chose love and within a year was given the opportunity to move to Los Angeles — I took it.
I was then able to recognize that no-matter-what, I’d become the person I was meant to be and my conscious walk through victimhood expedited my process and education in a way that nothing else could. It was now safe to be exactly who I am.
According to a recent study cited in Cosmopolitan, in the US, only about 28 percent of men and 26 percent of women are “very satisfied with their appearance.” Could you talk about what some of the causes might be, as well as the consequences?
Spiritually-speaking, self-loathing is the spirits conscious response to recognizing the physical body.
Imagine you’re this light and airy spirit being jettisoned into a fatty-blob of carbon-flesh, at birth. Disgust, anger, frustration, and loathing are just a few of the first emotions we must begin to express in learning to navigate the physical shell.
The feelings we have about our appearance and our relationship to food and emotion begin their transformation as we embrace grief. Grieving brings the transition, or process of exploration, of the many levels of who we are and how we learn to survive.
The more we cry, the more our brains change to help us become accustomed to our new physical home. We can begin to understand the body as a multi-dimensional work of art, that through all its power systems and intelligence, our body is an exquisite playground of manifestation and spiritual, mental, and emotional expression.
Even today, we have a limited understanding of our capacity to master the relationship we have with our physical world — not just our body. It’s only been in the last few decades our scientists have proven that the brain is able to change, reroute, and transform to our needs as-well-as is our DNA. When each of us, individually, begins to take control of our beliefs, attitudes, and understanding about fat, emotions-as- strength not weakness, and the body’s ability to heal itself, we will begin to witness cures for disease and a deeper level of kindness and compassion for ourselves and each other.
As cheesy as it might sound to truly understand and “love yourself,” can you share with our readers a few reasons why it’s so important?
Loving yourself means to accept yourself fully as a being in flux. When you embrace that the multiple dimensions of being human are always in a flow of change, it no longer feels relevant to self-loathe. Accepting something exactly as it is, empowers you to decide to change what you’ve outgrown or what no longer works.
Loving yourself, then, means getting in the powerful Universal flow of becoming the most awesome of you.
Why do you think people stay in mediocre relationships? What advice would you give to our readers regarding this?
Every relationship we enter has a masterful purpose. When you accept that you are the resident expert on you — you begin to embrace your choices and search out the reasons that validate them. Asking and receiving the why of the things you do, helps with releasing your brutal self-criticism. It opens a heart-centered relationship to transforming long-held-beliefs and allows for different choices to express who you are today.
Comparing yourself to others is the beast to conquer. Early in our evolution, there is only one right choice to make — to follow our truth. Until those choices lead us to the Truth. (The Universal connection we all have to one another.) Sure, others may have opinions and advice, but it only helps to more strongly illustrate your soul’s own true path. Most often, learning to overcome the opinions of your friends and family is a part of your process, while learning to set firm-boundaries with you, is a part of theirs.
When I talk about self-love and understanding I don’t necessarily mean blindly loving and accepting ourselves the way we are. Many times self-understanding requires us to reflect and ask ourselves the tough questions, to realize perhaps where we need to make changes in ourselves to be better not only for ourselves but for our relationships. What are some of those tough questions that will cut through the safe space of comfort we like to maintain, that our readers might want to ask themselves? Can you share an example of a time that you had to reflect and realize how you needed to make changes?
I see my entire life as being inspired by the pure desire to connect what I intrinsically knew in my spirit to the physical life I was leading. To give you a one-sentence back-story: As a child, I was always aware of my spiritual knowledge, psychic/empathic ability, and multicultural perspective — but layered on top of that, I carried enormous grief and many conflicting spiritual imprints of lives and spirits that lived in me. None of which my family or friends knew about, let-alone could explain. Many of these spiritual imprints were revealed in dreams and visions throughout my childhood.
As a consequence, my personality was split between worlds, always seeking to integrate through the hard questions I had to ask, and the answers that followed. In a series of self-reflections, I began to dissect every aspect of myself and the same questions became prevalent — they are the ones I encourage all my clients to answer regarding any topic, today.
· Why do you feel the way you do?
· Why do you do the things you do?
· Who do you need to forgive?
This series of questions will start you on a path to personality integration and soul-retrieval, and yes — self-love. Calling back to you, all the parts of yourself that your history would imply are separate.
So many don’t really know how to be alone or are afraid of it. How important is it for us to have, and practice, that capacity to truly be with ourselves and be alone (literally or metaphorically)?
There are two main dynamics that help us understand who we are. First, the awareness we gain from seeing how we respond to our environment. Second, the experience we have when we are required to be left completely alone, without any outside stimulus, with all that we are — mind, body, and soul. Ultimately, I think being with ourselves is an inevitable lesson we must learn — we are always as alone as we want to be but can choose to connect to others through our willingness to find common ground.
How does achieving a certain level of self-understanding and self-love then affect your ability to connect with and deepen your relationships with others?
The more you find unconditional love for yourself, the more you’re empowered to find that same compassion for others. It then becomes possible to set effective-affirmative boundaries that allow you to live peacefully together in a relationship. Our biggest obstacle to intimacy is taking what others do, personally. Of course, we teach people how to treat us, but people make the choices they do because of who they are, not because of who we are.
When your heart is genuinely open to others, they naturally respond with a deeper level of honesty and intimacy that builds self-trust and trust of others. Compassion, honesty, and trust are the building blocks of all our most potent enduring relationships.
In your experience, what should a) individuals and b) society, do to help people better understand themselves and accept themselves?
The key to self-acceptance is recognizing that our judgmental attitudes, first and foremost, are telling us about ourselves in our own secret-language. We are naturally critical of others in the way we criticize ourselves when we don’t really understand how good, powerful, and empowered we are — insecurity is a byproduct of misunderstanding and spiritual confusion. (Spiritual confusion is a lack of understanding of how the multiple dimensions of the spirit-world work.)
Free yourself from judgment and seek information: just the facts, please.
What are 5 strategies that you implement to maintain your connection with and love for yourself, that our readers might learn from? Could you please give a story or example for each?
Self-care: I’ve always taken a series of supplements, received massage therapy and crystal healings, and made sure to exercise in short manageable-intervals, daily. I find that setting small goals that you keep, rather than lofty-goals you default-on, set you up to achieve a positive result. So far, my consistently achieving the small aims has led to good health and big accomplishments.
Self-recognition for my daily accomplishments: At the end of every day, I take time to go over what I accomplished. Whether it be overcoming a bit of anxiety, writing a hundred words, cleaning the house, or a full day of working with clients. When I take a moment to breathe deeply and acknowledge where I started at the beginning of the day, I always feel gratitude and pride for my efforts. Going to sleep with a sense of completion creates better sleep, better memory, and a better attitude to begin the next day.
Weekly dreaming session: At least once a week, I take time for a dreaming session. Usually, the opportunity is presented to me through the time-of-day when I need to catch a second wind, or I have a break in-between activity. If at-that-time, I have stresses or concerns, I take four deep breaths and ask my inner-wisdom what I need to find a resolution. I then take a short nap (5–45 min.) and see what information comes. Sometimes it’s a dream and others it’s a lucid vision, helping me to see what I want or need in the situation. Either way, I wake up relaxed and better prepared for the remainder of the day.
Altar building: In my home, I have several sacred spaces, i.e.; book-shelf, counter space, or side-table in any room, where I can create a small altar to help me give voice to what I’d like to manifest and experience in my life. They can be as simple as cleaning and clearing a small place and lighting a candle to a more elaborate concoction of many meaningful items, crystals, art pieces, or statuary to express and organize my intent for a self-transformation or project. Doing this intuitively helps me to become cognizant of what I need to release in order to have space for what I want.
Water is life ritual: Our bodies are predominantly water — literally and figuratively, it keeps us resonant to the flow in our lives. With that in mind, I drink a glass of water first thing in the morning and several throughout the day. Establishing that habit has been helpful in times when I feel tired or down — when I’m in that space I tend not to drink water or recognize the continuing movement of life. The ritual is always helpful in reminding me that life is change.
What are your favorite books, podcasts, or resources for self-psychology, intimacy, or relationships? What do you love about each one and how does it resonate with you?
Book: Soul Food: Stories to Nourish the Spirit & Heart by Jack Kornfield & Christina Feldman
“The Universe is made of stories, not atoms.” Muriel Rukeyser …just about sums it up.
Podcast: Ana Berry’s Life-Unscripted and WholeBodyPrayer.
Ana Berry is a courageous charismatic entertainer, influencer, and yogi who lives her life without shame, letting others witness it. She is eloquent in her wisdom — raw and real in her style. She proves that life is worth taking chances for yourself.
I love all the unique content and that it’s easily accessible.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? Maybe we’ll inspire our readers to start it…
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote” that you use to guide yourself by? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life and how our readers might learn to live by it in theirs?
“… you have the right to be satisfied with what you have and with what you are right now.”
― Stuart Wilde, Life Was Never Meant to Be a Struggle
If you want more than you have now, it can only be created from the energy of contentment. Let yourself truly master managing what you have and who you are — it is the natural response of the Universe to give more.
I’ve always responded to negative stimuli with a great positive force. If you told me I couldn’t do something, I proved I could, by doing it. Although it wasn’t a bad strategy, it eventually became ego-driven and tiresome. Relaxing into the life you have draws towards you other elements that make you feel at ease. And soon, everything you’re doing feels easy.