In a society dominated by to-do and checklists, do you need one more box to check? No, of course you don’t. But what do we do? We add on and add on. And all the tasks that weren’t completed the day before wind up on tomorrow’s to-do list. Then they start looking like the good ole honey-do list — long and incomplete. Soon we learned that we were doing to-do and check lists wrong! “Don’t include every single task!” they said because then it becomes overwhelming… well that’s a no-brainer! You look at it, see everything, and start thinking about all the tasks, becoming exhausted before you even start. You know what that means, add to tomorrow’s list! We were told to prioritize the lists — only write 7–10 things that absolutely had to be done. That seemed to make it easier. But how many times did YOU make that list? How many times were you a priority on your “priority” checklist? Everyone else makes the daily list, right? Your kids, husband, parents, job and even your chores. Need I go on? You may make the weekly or monthly list because as women we have those ones too (more like the on-going checklist that is pre-recorded and on repeat in our heads)! We may book the spa appointment or book the hair appointment and then the day comes and we have to cancel or we’re too stressed out to enjoy it.
You are not a task; you are a Project
Self-Love is not something that you can just tick off and say “Done”! It takes work and it doesn’t stop. Self-Love is more than just telling yourself daily that you love yourself or looking in the mirror. Yes, those are absolutely important, but it’s bigger than that. It’s a process and it takes time, even more time to master. Be easy on yourself!
Get to know who you are
You have to get to know who you are. The kind of person you are and the things you like to do, not the things pushed on you by society or your friends.
Make you a priority
You have to make YOU a priority, and this is not just checklist priority. This is a real priority. Start doing things for you that you enjoy and making time for yourself.
Practice Self-Care
Practicing Self-Care is the number one gift you could ever give yourself. When you start practicing self-care you automatically and sub-consciously start telling yourself you are worth more and you are loved. Start getting to know your body and its cues, the things it’s telling you.
Once you start with these steps you begin to re-program your brain and undo all the negative messages you’ve told yourself either consciously or un-consciously.
I’ve been practicing self-love for the last two years. Two years in, I am still discovering things about myself. Self-Love isn’t a destination you reach one day and then say “Yes, I finally made it.”
Because we are always evolving and growing there will always be a new discovery. Things that you may have enjoyed years ago may no longer fulfill you. So have fun and enjoy falling in love with you. You are worth it and you deserve it.
Originally published at medium.com