Let Me Love Me, So I Can Love You

Love is something we all crave. We want it. We want someone to love, we want someone to love us yet we’re so focused on trying to find that someone that we’re willing to sacrifice the one love we need before anything - to love ourselves first.

Falling in love at 18 and falling in love in your 30s is a different type of feeling. You change as a person, what you want changes and either you adapt and adjust, or you move forward in different directions.

We were together for seven years before he popped the question.

I had always wanted to get married (what girl doesn’t?) and I would ask (my now ex-husband) when he was going to propose. (Hint: Ladies, don’t do this. Let it happen organically.) I was so eager to just plan my wedding that I wasn’t looking at what marriage meant. The reality is, if more time was spent focusing on what marriage means and less on the wedding day, perhaps things may have been different.

Relationships change over time and we become comfortable and often forget why we fell in love in the first place. We’re conditioned to believe that you are to fall in love, get married, buy a house and have babies and be together forever, no matter what. But marriage isn’t a forever binding contract. Just because two people decide that they want to together forever doesn’t mean that the effort, passion, and communication can fall by the wayside.

Now, in my 30s and dating again, I’ve learned to get a better grasp on who I am and what I want in a partner.

After being in a relationship for 11 years to being single, I feel that I took the time to gain a sense of who I am first, and who I want to be by my side each day. When I moved out of my house and into my apartment, I took advantage of the time alone. I could sprawl out on my queen size bed with my dog, cook the food how I wanted, buy the food I wanted, spend as much time out as I wanted etc. I loved living alone. Of course, it had its challenges that I didn’t foresee such as being in charge of doing everything. As you read through my story about my experiences of relationships, growth, and love, I want you to know that I’m still going through all of this. I’m only 32 and still trying to figure it all out. But I wanted to start a platform where I can share my story and hopefully help someone else as they may be navigating through similar situations.

Now that I’m single again, I’m ready to dig deep into why things turned out the way they did, learn more about relationships and bring my new growth into my new found life. Finding love again after heartbreak isn’t easy, finding love after thinking you had all you needed and wanted seems impossible but I’m here to share that you can manifest everything you desire and deserve but it takes patience and consistency.

This platform will be my outlet to be open, real and raw. I’m ready to finally open up about my past, my choices, my decisions, my challenges and how I’m working on manifesting the life I want and deserve.

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