A friend told me years ago: ‘you can never have all areas of your life all going well at the same time. Either work, health or love but not all of them at once’.
It stuck with me for years and to some extend I agree. Except now I am a life coach and my job is to help client solve problems, aim high, overcome limitations beliefs, and have big breakthroughs. So it got me thinking about this conflict I have about whether we can really have all 3 areas in perfect harmony most of the time.
When I was at my most successful in my media career, my love life was a total disaster. I was too tired (single mum working full time) and the travelling for my jobs made it really hard to make real connections. I felt empty and at times it affected my work. I was longing for my soulmate and felt I was on the hamster wheel of career life. Don’t get me wrong, I did have some periods of ‘happy dating’, but those often meaning I was burning the candle by both ends and my health suffered: insomnia, skin loosing its spark, and exhaustion.
When my love life really kick started, my work life went downhill: a combination of bad luck in the work place and unsuccessful career moves. I got married for the first time aged 46 and had a baby aged 47, naturally and rather unexpectedly. All amazing events filling my life with more love than I ever imagined. My health has been great through the pregnancy (minus gestational diabetes which is totally manageable), birth was smooth and post pregnancy recovery all good so far.
And my career? Well it definitely took a step back- having only just launched my coaching business as I found out as I was pregnant, I put it all on stop to focus on the baby and restarted last month. Is it up there with the love and the health? No.
Do I think my friend’s theory therefore stands? In a way yes. As I think we spread ourselves too thin if we aim to excel at all areas of our life. Our jobs require so much of our attention, no wonder our health suffers. We work such long hours, it is not surprising there are more singles than ever. We often neglect our health out of ‘being busy’, or because of our hectic lifestyles and travels.
So which of the 3 (health, career or love), do I feel is the one to focus on? Love, each and everytime. I noticed when I started coaching people that the underlying thread to all of the ‘issues’ they brought to the coaching, was ultimately about love. Self-love or lack of, relationships breakdowns, loneliness due to lack of real connections etc…
When I restarted working after my 6 months at home with my ‘love’ baby, it was a no brainer that LOVE and RELATIONSHIPS was what I was on a mission to help others solve. The rest, I know, does follow…