This has been a rough couple of months for many of us, if not all. Not only are we experiencing the collective trauma of a global pandemic but many nations are also experiencing socio-economic-political issues the likes of which we haven’t seen in our lifetimes. The limiting of our social activities, as well as the Stay At Home orders, have put a great strain on not only our mental health & wellbeing but also our relationships. Close quarters. Differing Communication Styles. Unrealistic expectations. Are a recipe for disaster. Add in the fact that several planets are in Retrograde, particularly Venus – the planet of love, relationships, beauty, and money – and the energy is feeling EXTRA intense.
How can we navigate these uncharted waters with grace & ease?
What tools can we use to create harmony in our relationships?
How can we take this time to self-reflect in order not only for us to create internal peace & happiness but also to enhance our interpersonal relationships?
Human beings are social creatures. We are also creatures of comfort. The saying “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” exists for a reason. Our egos (which are designed to keep us “safe”) are incredibly resistant to change – of any kind. Therefore, many of us fall into the trap of creating unhealthy communication patterns that lead to unhealthy relationships. Then there are the societal structures that have sold us a fairy-tale of what love & marriage should look like.
The issue? Many of us are not equipped to create lasting, vibrant, healthy loving relationships.
But how can we be equipped to create that if many of us haven’t even taken the time to ask ourselves – What do we really, truly want? What are our needs in a partnership? Are our existing relationships working? If not, how can we fine-tune them? Is the situation irreparable? These are all valid questions. Lessons I’ve had to learn over the years. And I am still learning and fine-tuning these in my relationships. Healthy relationships are not static. It’s not a “you do this one thing and you’re done”. Relationships are dynamic, living entities and as such, they are constantly evolving. Just as we are.
The good news is that now that the world has slowed down, we have the opportunity to use this time constructively to reflect on ourselves, our needs, our desires, and our wants. Caveat – without projecting our unfulfilled desires on another. Because the only person who is responsible for your happiness is YOU.
I’ve outlined a few tips for navigating these waters positively in order to create lasting, harmonious relationships.
This means simply becoming aware of our thoughts, words, and actions. How are we treating ourselves? How are we treating others? Is what we are saying kind? Is it true? Or is it a projection of our fears? Is this action truly helpful, for all parties involved? Becoming aware of our fears, our triggers, our traumas are just as important as becoming aware of our needs and wants in partnership. Knowing my personal triggers has saved me more than a few blow-out fights! It makes sense because when we are aware of a “fear”, it no longer controls our behavior. Being aware allows us to choose a better way.
This may seem like a no-brainer but oftentimes we aren’t being respectful. I’ve been on both sides of the fence of this one in relationships. I’ve had a beautiful relationship, where we both were incredibly respectful and mindful of each other’s needs and wants – where we worked constructively to create a loving partnership. And… I’ve had a trainwreck of a relationship where we just never could communicate our needs, and both felt drained and trapped. If we are expecting our partner to change? That is not respect. If we are dismissive of them? Not respect. If we are unkind and/or withholding affection/attention as “punishment”? This is not respect. What does respect look like? Treating the other person with the utmost kindness & caring about the other person’s feelings & overall wellbeing.
Honest, Constructive Communication
While we all know that “Honesty is the best policy” in practice this one is challenging. There have been times where I’ve asked myself if I truly want to tell the “truth” even knowing it would hurt. Relationships can be challenging particularly for this reason. We don’t want to hurt others, so we keep our feelings, needs, etc. to ourselves oftentimes creating resentment. Resentment kills relationships, just as surely as cheating does. In order to have honest, constructive communication it’s important to:
- Create a quiet, relaxed environment for communication
- Exercise kindness, not only in your listening but in your speaking.
- Use non-violent communication
Ex. When you do x, it makes me feel y.
Ex. I would appreciate it if you would do x, because when you do y, it makes me feel like z.
- Give each other time & space
Be respectful of each other. They may not be ready to speak in that situation. If that’s the case, table the discussion for another time.
Creating lasting, partnerships is like tending to plants. They take time, attention, care, and nurturing. Flowers don’t bloom overnight. They take time and patience. Love is the same. Treat yourself and your relationships with the utmost kindness and respect and you will see how they grow and thrive, bringing more joy into your life.
Aurea is an Intuitive, Energy Healer and Life Coach and has been supporting and empowering people to heal their bodies, minds, and spirits by employing various modalities such as Reiki, Meditation, Plant Essences & Sound Healing for over 10 years. She has a holistic approach, channeling intuitive wisdom to facilitate, empower & inspire her client’s personal & professional development. She offers Energetic Clearings, Reiki Healing Sessions, Group Workshops & One on One Coaching. Áurea creates & holds the space to facilitate the healing of the body, mind & spirit & the integration of the Divine Feminine & Divine Masculine essences in order to step into your personal power, live your life fully, giving play to your passions & creativity.
Company name: Radiance Health & Wellness, LLC
Email Address : [email protected]
Website URL : www.radiancehealthwellness.com
Instagram URL : www.instagram.com/aurealara