I noticed I was living unconventionally when I turned 17 and got my first job. I was a news anchor at a local TV station in my hometown in Poland and was earning a nice salary. To this day I can say that this was probably the best job I had ever had but back then my joy was overshadowed by the fact that I felt different. My classmates’ first jobs were bagging groceries or flipping burgers so being a journalist felt like an outcast.
I felt I constantly had to downplay how great being a journalist was. I was meeting many people, getting freebies, being invited to press events but the gap between my friends and I kept widening being fed by my TV adventure. It was as if my unconventional job was exposing me to a different language, which I was soaking in but which was only echoed by the walls of the TV studio. Noone understood me. It was all glamorous and yet I had nobody to share it with.
Over the years my life has got even more infused with unconventional opinions, experiences, careers and lifestyle. The fact that I don’t want to grow my business is one of the examples.
Skipping over a few chapters, I now live in Hawaii, own a business and I’m an author. As I’m writing this, I’m considering erasing “Hawaii” or maybe “own a business” or “author.” The discomfort tied to living my unconventional life sets in and fear of sounding arrogant makes me want to reframe, omit or just not share. Or at least add that it all has its drawbacks too. Living unconventionally comes with its territory and here is what you may feel:
Living unconventionally comes at a cost. By being aware of it, we can start building our unconventional shield. Understanding that unconventional life gets unconventional reactions will make us forego striving for understanding, acceptance and approval and… live.
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Originally published at medium.com