So many opportunities come our way every day. Opportunities to make or break situations, relationships, circumstances, events, seasons… countless times. These opportunities present themselves in the form of conversations.
Conversations are crucial to connect with others. Communication is often the number one reason for either a successful interaction between two people or the cause of conflict.
Speak in such a way that others love to listen to you … Listen in such a way that others love to speak to you.
Opposing Views
Speaking and listening are the key ingredients of the communication mix. One person speaks while the other person listens. The truth of the matter is that when we speak, we cannot listen, and when we are listening, we shouldn’t speak.
Most people will admit that in conversations they often are not really listening to what the other person is saying, they are formulating a response to the first few words. Essentially, the person is speaking to their own mind while trying to listen to what the person is saying.
This is not a well thought out long term solution. In fact, it is not a solution at all. Speaking and listening are polarizing opposites. Certainly, we have all spoke while trying to listen or vice versa, however I am also quite sure those were not the best conversations we’ve had.
Speaking is the process of presenting material in spoken word form to another person. Listening is the art of hearing what someone is saying. Truly, we cannot do both successfully simultaneously.
So then, learning how to speak is the first element to master.
The Art Of The Speak
Speak in such a way…
When we speak, others listen. One of the beautiful realities of social media platforms, is just that, it is a platform. Each of us have an opportunity to have a platform. One result of using the platform is that we become greater influencers and impactors beyond what we know. Let’s take Facebook™ for example. I can see how many people have viewed a live video, but I don’t and won’t know who did unless they like or comment on it.
Ever been in a conversation with someone and they reference your live video or a piece of content that you put out there, and you have no idea
(1) Who they are
(2) They followed you
(3) That by the very nature of them talking to you about it means you have impacted them in some way
When we speak with humility, authenticity, truth, boldness, conviction, compassion, and sometimes a little humor, we position ourselves to speak in a way that other people desire to listen to what we say.
The Art of The Listen
The same goes for listening. When we receive what someone talks about with those same characteristics, we have created a safe space for others to share from their truth.
Imagine being the listener to every conversation you are a part of. The challenge of listening is that we are speaking to our inner self most of the time. This slows down conversations and in our fast-paced world that presents a challenge.
<Insert quote> To step above the noise of the pacing and to take a moment to listen speaks volumes.
Listening means you are receiving. Listening is the defensive stance. Listening is allowing.
What about these sayings…
“Harder to ‘score points’ when you are on defense rather than on offense”
“The best defense is a great offense”
“Strike first, strike hard, no mercy”
Or these…
“The first to state their case isn’t always right”
“Walk softly, and carry a giant stick”
Listening is positioning. Positioning is everything. When you are known as a good listener, you will be desired as a speaker.
Speak in such a way that others love to listen to you … Listen in such a way that others love to speak to you.