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Lindsay Schroeder: “Boundaries are important –really, really important”

Boundaries are important –really, really important. I cannot express this one enough, boundaries are extremely important for all of us. When you are a HSP you will need to learn what boundaries you can put in place that will support you, offer you comfort, and keep you from draining your energy. For example, the client […]


Boundaries are important –really, really important. I cannot express this one enough, boundaries are extremely important for all of us. When you are a HSP you will need to learn what boundaries you can put in place that will support you, offer you comfort, and keep you from draining your energy. For example, the client I previously mentioned, she has a boundary of only one large group event in a week. This helps her stay in her power because she gives herself the correct amount of time to prepare and realign both before and after events. Other clients have boundaries around certain people, specific kinds of event, even what movies or music they will listen to, other clients follow a specific morning or evening practice, and often HSPs can put boundaries in place with loved ones to help them stay in alignment. Boundaries are a way for you to prioritize your own life, energy, and needs before opening yourself up to offering for others. You can only give from what you have in your own cup, so take care of yourself first and it ripples out into your entire world.


As a part of our series about How To Survive And Thrive As A Highly Sensitive Person, I had the pleasure of interviewing Lindsay Schroeder.

Lindsay is a Spiritual Wellness, Intuitive Business, and Mindset Coach with the company she founded, Our & Are.

Lindsay has traversed many different terrains in her healing journey. She became committed to processing her childhood trauma, healing her relationship with her mother as she lost her battle to cancer, and reconciling with her long-estranged father. Lindsay sought out a myriad of healing modalities and teachers to support her through the twists and turns of this deep healing and growth.

In healing herself and reprogramming her subconscious she found that she longed to share the practices, tools, and techniques that helped help her. She released childhood trauma, worked through past relationship issues, continues to develop her intuitive muscle, manage her empath skills, and cultivate a deep personal practice.


Thank you so much for doing this with us! Can you tell our readers a little bit about yourself and what you do professionally?

Thank you so much for having me, I’m excited to be here with y’all! I am a Spiritual Wellness, Intuitive Business, and Mindset Coach with Our & Are.

I hold space, coach, and mentor service-based entrepreneurs to develop their intuition, shift their mindsets, and reprogram their subconscious. During my sessions I provide high impact energy healing and intense intuitive training.

Can you help define for our readers what is meant by a Highly Sensitive Person? Does it simply mean that feelings are easily hurt or offended?

I’d love to, being a highly sensitive person, or as I often refer to it as, being an empath, is far more than being easily hurt or offended. There are several different styles of being highly sensitive but the thing that they all have in common is deep feeling. When you are highly sensitive you feel so much, so often, and frequently more than just your own feelings. You are very aware and affected by the energy that others give off. My specific flavor of highly sensitive, being an empath, means that not only am I deeply affected by my own feelings and others, but I can truly feel the feelings of another. Sometimes it’s when I zone in but other times, this used to happen way more in my past than it does now that I’ve honed this skill set, it just comes over me.

I like to explain this with the example of loss. When someone is going through loss, of a job, of a relationship, maybe the loss of a parent, many people relate. They call up the feelings of a time they lost someone or something, they use their own feelings to really try to understand what the other person is going through. They can truly be feeling a feelings of loss, but through their own experience. When an empath experiences loss through another person, the truly feel the feelings the other person is going through. That might mean feeling the loss of a parent when they have not experienced that for themselves yet. They feel the style and flavor of the other’s person’s loss. They get waves or hits of their memories and gut feelings and how their body handles the loss, how their energy is weathering this storm.

So much more than just being easily hurt or offended, however that definitely is still part of the deal.

Does a Highly Sensitive Person have a higher degree of empathy towards others? Is a Highly Sensitive Person offended by hurtful remarks made about other people?

HSP are able to understand, feel, process, and pick up on way more than the average individual, so yes they often have more empathy towards others. There are two sides to every coin though, HSPs can get burned out and overstimulated very easily.

I cannot speak for every HSP because there are many different kinds and there are varying degrees of management of your abilities or sensitivities but personally, I experienced deep impact when I was younger when hurtful remarks were made about others. Many of those experiences were seared into my memory and for a long time I didn’t understand why. These experiences would be about people I barely knew and yet the profound feelings lingered for so long.

Does a Highly Sensitive Person have greater difficulty with certain parts of popular culture, entertainment or news, that depict emotional or physical pain? Can you explain or give a story?

One of the tactics that I learned and teach many of my clients who are also empaths, is to really curate what you are taking in because we can so deeply feel. That means being conscious of the music, movies, tabloids, books, and news that you are taking in. I play 75%/25% ratio when it comes to music. 75% of the music I listen to is aligned with the vibrations and feelings I desire to saturate my mind and energy. The other 25% is fun, enjoyable, and often what I’m craving for a specific moment. Being intentional about what words I am mindlessly singing has been a game-changer for me because of how sensitive I am. We are programming ourselves at all moment, so when I find myself singing along to words that do not support the life, I am creating I catch it and shift it. I do this with almost everything that I “consume.”

It became very clear to be back in high school and college that I was more effected than a lot of my friends especially when it came to “celebrity drama.” Watching the lives of celebrities has a level of fascination that many of use indulge in but I was able to take on the feelings they depicted in interview, on reality shows, and in articles. I started to be really intention with who I was following and how often I was allowing my energy to absorb what they were giving off.

Can you please share a story about how a highly sensitive nature created problems for someone at work or socially?

I think we have all been in the situation where someone we care about is going through something and you ask them if they are ok or what is wrong, and they brush you off. Unfortunately, when that happens to me, I almost physically cannot let it go. For a long time, before leaning to manage my abilities, I would get consumed with what they were feeling. It was as if their drama, their experience, and their feelings were my own. I often overstepped or became intensely preoccupied with them. More frequently than I was happy to admit for a while, to my own detriment.

When does the average person’s level of sensitivity rise above the societal norm? When is one seen as “too sensitive”?

I think too sensitive is a label that society puts on people they don’t understand. Rather than labeling people I think making HSP and empaths a more common conversation is a start. Even more than just making people aware of their skills I think it’s important that we start offering tools and techniques to manage these skills so they can be truly used as a skill and not felt as a burden.

I’m sure that being Highly Sensitive also gives one certain advantages. Can you tell us a few advantages that Highly Sensitive people have?

Being a HSP/empath has helped me enormously in my business. I use my empath abilities and my intuition with my clients in every single session. I am able to support others in healing, up-leveling, shifting, and growing because I am acutely connected into their feelings. When a client tells me something, I can follow my feelings to uncover things they might not be consciously aware of, or things that might be hiding below the surface. I can make connections that they might not be able to see because they are in the frame and I am not only looking at the picture, but I am feeling into their experience.

Can you share a story that you have come across where great sensitivity was actually an advantage?

I have supported several clients in reprogramming their subconscious belief systems and often their limiting beliefs start with programmings from childhood. When they start to identify the issues, they are experiencing in their business my HS/empath abilities direct me to the energetic connections between what happened to them as a child years ago and how that is manifesting in their business today. Being able to support people in uncovering these connections and then shifting them has resulted in major progress and transformation for my clients and major success for me and my business.

There seems to be no harm in being overly empathetic. What’s the line drawn between being empathetic and being Highly Sensitive?

Putting yourself in another’s shoes will help you understand. That is powerful and that is what having empathy does for our human connection. Being a HSP/empath means you not only understand but truly feel it, step into that other person’s experience in a sensory way, and frequently for many empaths I’ve worked with you are not always aware that the feelings are not yours. That can make for major confusion and a lot of difficulty.

Social Media can often be casually callous. How does Social Media affect a Highly Sensitive Person? How can a Highly Sensitive Person utilize the benefits of social media without being pulled down by it?

This is a BIG one! Being a HSP/empath means you sometimes needs to take extra measures to draw solid boundaries and put yourself first. I often work with clients on curating their digital world, so they are intentionally choosing who and what they invite into their world. For a lot of us, that means a lot of unfollowing!

How would you advise your patient to respond if something they hear or see bothers or affects them, but others comment that that are being petty or that it is minor?

Start with gratitude, face the feeling. Starting with gratitude for the ability can often give us some separation from the feeling itself. Thank you, sensitivity skill set, for allowing me to feel or understand that thing. Then I really focus on supporting my clients in separating what is theirs from what is not theirs. Is this your feeling or are you picking up on the feelings of others? Then is this serving you? Last but certainty not least releasing it/honoring your own boundaries. Allowing that feeling to move through you rather than holding onto it.

As you start to hone the skill you can move into a place of consciously choosing when you open up your sensitivity or empath skills and when you leave it closed down. This way you can protect yourself when using your skill set doesn’t serve you.

What strategies do you recommend to your patients to overcome the challenges that come with being overly sensitive without changing their caring and empathetic nature?

One of my favorite strategies is my mosaic practice.

“I created the mosaic visualization practice to support my empath clients in separating what is theirs from what is not. When you are a highly sensitive person you can easily take on the emotions of others. You can take something someone says, or does, that might be tiny in reality and feel it so deeply that it knocks you off course for days. You can sometimes feel crushed by the weight of what you feel.

Working with this visualization will give you a tangible tool to support yourself in any of those situations.

I guide my clients into a meditative state, relaxing each and every part of the mind, body, and soul. Once relaxed and connected I guide them to visualize a mosaic, with tons of tiny pieces creating a full picture. We navigate what color/texture/material their own energy shows up as in this mosaic. Common options are neutral tones, jewel tones, neon colors, sometimes the material is glass, ceramic, velvety, etc.

Once they have established what their mosaic pieces look and feel like then I guide them to seeing if there are pieces that are not theirs. These pieces will show up and stand out in their mosaic, they might be a different color or different texture, they might look like blank spaces, or dark areas. Once located I guide them through picking out pieces that are not theirs. These pieces represent the feelings and emotions taken on from others, reactions to what someone else has said or done that aren’t serving them, and anything that they are fixating on because of their highly sensitive nature.

After spending time in this space they are able to pull out what is theirs and what is not. This will often bring new clarity around a reaction or will support them in letting go of a feeling that wasn’t theirs to begin with.”

What are the “myths” that you would like to dispel about being a Highly Sensitive Person? Can you explain what you mean?

I’m not sure if this is a “myth” per se but I’ve often heard a HSP’s feelings denounced as “looking for attention” or being “dramatic.” I’d like to address that feeling what someone else is feeling and having that person tell you nothing’s up and you are “crazy” would bring a little drama out of pretty much anyone.

As you know, one of the challenges of being a Highly Sensitive Person is the harmful, and dismissive sentiment of “why can’t you just stop being so sensitive?” What do you think needs to be done to make it apparent that it just doesn’t work that way?

I have found with working with tons of HSP/empaths that naming it, describing it, and supporting the individual in starting to understand their gifts is the first major step to helping everyone understand how it does and does not work. It starts with the self. It is extremely important for each of us to cultivate a practice with self, owning our feelings, processes, and means of transformation. This way we can stand up for ourselves, operate in ways that that work for us, and draw important boundaries. Second, start the conversations. The more we discuss things like this, the more understanding there is for everyone about these valuable topics.

OK, here is the main question for our discussion. Can you share with us your “5 Things You Need To Know To Survive And Thrive As A Highly Sensitive Person? Please give a story or an example for each.

  1. Get to know your flavor of HSP. It is really helpful to understand what kind of highly sensitive person you are. Learn how you process or interpret feelings. Are there are specific people or situations that you feel into more intensely? Understanding yourself and your energy with more depth will support your growth and management of being a HSP. For example, I have a client who is a HSP/empath however it took her a while to understand this about herself because she was managing her abilities really well without knowing except for large crowds. When she would go to concerts, take the train during rush-hour, go to a football game, or pretty much anything with a very large crowd she would reel from this experience for several days. She would need to retreat and realigning her energy. She thought she was sick sometimes, she would be almost depressed other times, and in general was knocked off her feet. After working together, she was able to identify that when she was around a large number of people it was too much for her energy/feeling receptors and it was extremely over stimulating. Once she was able to identify this, she was able to start to build a system for this. She would protect her energy before entering into large groups, she would check in with herself throughout the experience, and she created a process for after the event to release anything that was not serving her. After practicing and fine tuning this process, she now is able to thrive and enjoy large crowds without getting put out of commission for days after. Knowing what flavor or style of HSP you are helps you handle your sensitives and turn them into skills or gifts instead of burdens.
  2. Boundaries are important –really, really important. I cannot express this one enough, boundaries are extremely important for all of us. When you are a HSP you will need to learn what boundaries you can put in place that will support you, offer you comfort, and keep you from draining your energy. For example, the client I previously mentioned, she has a boundary of only one large group event in a week. This helps her stay in her power because she gives herself the correct amount of time to prepare and realign both before and after events. Other clients have boundaries around certain people, specific kinds of event, even what movies or music they will listen to, other clients follow a specific morning or evening practice, and often HSPs can put boundaries in place with loved ones to help them stay in alignment. Boundaries are a way for you to prioritize your own life, energy, and needs before opening yourself up to offering for others. You can only give from what you have in your own cup, so take care of yourself first and it ripples out into your entire world.
  3. Shift from Burden to Gift. Having these high sensitivities can feel like a burden before you learn to work with them, cultivate them, and support yourself in certain ways. I love helping my clients create a process for shifting from burden to gift. For some this happens just by getting to know themselves and how their sensitives operate. For others it’s about putting practices and boundaries into place to support their energy. Whatever the process is for you, it’s an important undertaking. I have a magical client who I am currently working with and she is an empath. For a long time when she was a child being highly sensitive ostracized her from her family. She’s always felt like an outsider with those she grew up with. After working together, learning about sensitivities in general, putting a name to her feelings, and after implementing practices before and after draining events she is a whole new expression of self. She is now able to protect her energy daily, she knows how to release what isn’t hers, and she can turn on or tune into her abilities during sessions which allows her to use this as a skill. Shifting from burden to skill set has allowed her to work with her HS abilities instead of fighting against them.
  4. Does this belong to me? When you are a HSP/empath you will frequently feel what others are feeling extremely deeply and sometimes you might not even realize that you are experiencing someone else’s emotions. This can have an extremely draining effect of us. It is a very powerful practice to check in with your energy and ask if what you are experiencing belongs to you.
    Here is a practice to support this:
    I created the mosaic visualization practice to support my empath clients in separating what is theirs from what is not. When you are a highly sensitive person you can easily take on the emotions of others. You can take something someone says or does that might be tiny in reality and feel it so deeply that it knocks you off course for days. You can sometimes feel crushed by the weight of what you feel so deeply.
    Working with this visualization will give you a tangible tool to support yourself in any of those situations.
    I guide my clients into a meditative state, relaxing each and every part of the mind, body, and soul. Once relaxed and connected I guide them to visualize a mosaic, with tons of tiny pieces creating a full picture. We navigate what color/texture/material their own energy shows up as in this mosaic. Common options are neutral tones, jewel tones, neon colors, sometimes the material is glass, ceramic, velvety, etc. Once they have established what their mosaic pieces look and feel like then I guide them to seeing if there are pieces that are not theirs. These pieces will show up and stand out in their mosaic, they might be a different color or different texture, they might look like blank spaces, or dark areas. Once located I guide them through picking out pieces that are not theirs. These pieces represent the feelings and emotions taken on from others, reactions to what someone else has said or done that isn’t serving them, and anything that they are fixating on because of their highly sensitive nature.
    After spending time in this space they are able to pull out what is theirs and what is not. This will often bring new clarity around a reaction or will support them in letting go of a feeling that wasn’t theirs to begin with.
  5. Personal Practice — I cannot say enough about how this last one is a true survival need (no matter who you are). Having a consistent personal practice serves each of us because it allows us to connect to ourselves, listen to our internal knowing, and supports our growth. For a HSP including a practice that clears the energy, protects the energy, or helps you move through emotions will help you work with your skill set instead of fighting against it. Personal practice is one of the main suggestions I have for anyone trying to get more connected with their intuition and shift their live in a more aligned direction.

You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good for the greatest number of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger.

I would inspire a movement that opened people up to the awareness that they truly are the conscious creators on their own lives.

How can our readers follow you online?

Join our private community online — facebook.com/groups/ourandare

Follow us on Instagram — Instagram.com/ourandare

Like us on Facebook — facebook.com/ourandare

Check us out on Linkedin — linkedin.com/in/lischroeder/

Visit our website — ourandare.com

Pin with us — pinterest.com/ourandare/

Thank you for these fantastic insights. We greatly appreciate the time you spent on this.

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