As a Life & Relationship Coach, Dr.Bolu Oladini has insight that few relationship experts have. Dr. Bolu knows that there is a lot of bad information about relationships out there. Many of the things we believe to be true from the media and Hollywood are simply not true, not healthy, and can even damage your relationship and emotional health. These outlets try to show you ways to have the “perfect” relationship, but the celebrity relationships you see often go through divorce, infidelity, and other drama. Not only is getting your relationship advice from popular culture a terrible idea, Dr. Bolu understands that real life is never what you see on the movie screen. Here are 9 Harsh Realities About Relationships from a successfully married Life & Relationship Coach:
- It takes a lot of maturity to be successfully married. Not everyone is ready. Selfishness and immaturity are big culprits in keeping people single, and also major problems in marriage.
- So many people have problems in relationships because they have no boundaries or standards. When you don’t put your foot down and say what you will and will not tolerate, people will treat you anyhow because there aren’t any consequences. What you tolerate is what you will get.
- So much of people’s fear of setting boundaries in relationships comes from low self worth and fear of abandonment. We need to learn how to operate out of love instead of fear. The right person for you will respect your boundaries because they also have boundaries of their own.
- Intelligence is great, but it can be ruined by four things: 1) Too much ego, 2) inability to communicate w/ others, 3) inability to change your mind, 4) unwillingness to compromise with a team. I had to work on all of these. What good is knowledge if you can’t share it?
- When people fall in love with someone’s flowers, but not their roots, they don’t know what to do when autumn comes. Your relationships need to be built on deep alignment on values, character, and morals (the roots) not just “love”, appearance, hobbies & status (the flowers).
- Relationship MYTH: A woman has to date a man for years, before she can get married. Reality: A serious-minded mature man who is financially stable, will know if he sees you as wife material within the FIRST 6 MONTHS. Move on if he’s not ready. Don’t be a placeholder!
- What’s missing in most of today’s men is INTEGRITY. This leads to lack of trust in relationships. How can she trust you bro, when you don’t do what you say you’ll do? Keep your word to yourself first, then you can gain trust. Women want leaders, and leadership takes integrity.
- Some of you haven’t suffered enough to change. It’s only when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing, that change will actually occur. How much more pain will it take?
- So many of you are still STUCK in the same place you were months ago, because you’re waiting for “closure.” You’re waiting for that explanation or that apology from someone who no longer cares. Closure is a MYTH. Create your own closure. Close the damn book YOURSELF!!
Master Your Relationships
His intrinsic knowledge has given him some profound insight and the ability to find innovative ways to coach others. Times change, and so does Dr. Bolu as he continually looks for ways to improve on himself and his coaching practice. He thinks outside the box as no relationship is the same as another. Since everyone is different, the approach taken should reflect that individuality. He works hard at helping others reinvent themselves, whether it’s life in general or their belief in themselves, to create a brighter and better future.
For deeper knowledge about relationships and to put yourself on the fast track to relationship success, you can sign up for his 1 on 1 Coaching Program Relationship Mastery
You can follow Dr. Bolu Oladini on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn. His work has appeared on the Yahoo Finance, Oprah’s Black Love Instagram page and has seen a significant following as many seek his advice.