“It’s ok not to be ok.”
The doctor looked at me with a serious grin on her face and funnily enough, I didn’t feel the shame and guilt I thought I would after asking for help.
A few days ago a connection on LinkedIn shared her struggle with debt and money, being an entrepreneur is not the fun game we see all over social media. It isn’t at least if you start from scratch and you have to figure it out your way.
Every journey is different and I’ve learned that in this experience we are living in on Earth there are only two choices, the one that scares you the most and the one that keeps you obedient.
Speaking with others about my own struggles makes me feel weak, I don’t want to invest energy into crying, complaining or whining, I want to be high energy and continue hustling for my visions.
However, the process takes time and despite our efforts, it might ask of us to do things we aren’t used to. I had the habit of working until I felt exhausted or I would feel guilty. I could sleep 4 to 5 hours and my results still were mediocre but I kept pushing because that’s what you do, you hustle and sweat and push and kill and bite and destroy weakness by showing up no matter what.
The world around me made no sense, the support system was about to break, I distanced myself and shut myself down, I was hurting but I felt that sharing it with others would put the burden on their shoulders when it is my responsibility and only mine to save myself.
I had nowhere to go, no-one to turn to, I played the strong woman who doesn’t need anyone until one morning, in the dark on my way to work I couldn’t breathe. Something was choking me, I could not cry, I just felt my shoulders shrugging, my back tense, my neck stiff and my mouth dry. It was scary and yet, I pushed, I didn’t want to let anybody down, those around me who are supporting me in many ways.
And there I learned, I only owe it to myself. I owe no-one nothing. It’s not my responsibility to take on their burdens.
We are all on our own in this game, the cold-hearted truth is that we are naked, nothing to lose, why waste time dwelling on what could have happened?
The morning I entered the doctor’s office I had no idea what would happen, I just needed to talk to someone, I needed to say it, I needed to let the shame and the guilt and the embarrassment out of my system. It was draining me.
Failure is the foundation of greatness. Mistakes happen and will continue to happen if you are daring because on one hand there’s only one you so nobody can truly guide you and on the other, your path is yours only, the ideas, visions, actions that come to you are yours only.
When you dare to fall into the abyss is when you rescue yourself and truly live.
Imagine running up a hill and when you are on the top having the courage to jump and with your eyes closed lay on your back knowing that a pair of magnificent and strong arms will catch you.
That feeling is what life needs from us for the doors of opportunity to open. The feeling of deserving the best is what will bring you the best until then we are only hammering diamonds with steel and that, we all know, doesn’t break them.
On this week’s episode of The Verified Fearless Podcast, Jeane Marie shared her best tips to start loving ourselves from today:
- Exercise, release endorphins, sweat.
- Be nice to yourself.
- Don’t feel guilty if you want to eat something. Eat it and enjoy it.
- Be conscious of your health.
- Do more of what makes you happy.
It’s ok to ask for help. It’s ok to need help. It’s ok to feel like we can’t cope and it’s ok to be brave and bold and crazy and blunt and courageous. It’s ok to be whoever we want to be.
The illusion of being part of a tribe is what keeps us trying so hard to fit in, it’s what dilutes the authenticity we all have. Wanting to be accepted. That can kill your dreams.
Whatever you do, do it for you.