Mind chatter’s like a bad old drug. It takes over your head, makes you moody, grumpy, anti-social and pushes you down the road of bad decisions.
It’s good at whipping your doubts and insecurities into a commotion you can’t silence. Whenever mind chatter’s around, confidence cowers in a corner.
Sometimes I’ll ask a client what would help them most in their business — more money or more confidence? They always pick confidence. Money comes and goes, they say. But when you have confidence, you have everything.
One client said her mind chatter pushes her into feeling bad about herself and her opportunities in life. She feels generally confused, flitting from one possibility to another, stressed and unable to find an elegant solution.
Mind chatter falsely convinces you that the solution lies outside you — perhaps with your spouse, boss, government or even some mysterious “situation”.
Although it’s brave and necessary to look outside yourself for help sometimes, it’s vital to strengthen your own abilities so that looking outside becomes a choice and a safety net rather than your only escape route.
You already have what you need
Your mind chatter assumes events are outside your control. It might look like someone else holds all the power but don’t forget that you already have many of the abilities you need to confront it, you’ve just got used to not using them. And what you don’t have, you can learn.
Self-Appreciation: the act of recognizing what you have
Many of your qualities are so intrinsic that you’ve stopped noticing the color and depth they add to your personality. When other people try and tell you, you dismiss them.
Conscious self-appreciation helps you understand how deep you go. When you acknowledge and appreciate what you do have, these qualities become braver and start stepping up.
And while it’s easy to see the good in all your positive qualities, have you considered that even the negative qualities are serving a purpose somehow?
For example, social shyness can be a way you’ve found to protect yourself from rejection. When you acknowledge friendship’s important to you, you give yourself a chance to see negative behavior, the shyness, as an out-dated coping mechanism.
Once you see it as a “mechanism”, it’s no longer part of your identity. YOU are not shy. You’ve simply taken to behaving in a certain way under particular circumstances. This has now entered the realm of problems that can be dealt with — either on your own or with a trusted friend or coach.
Your spirit needs self-esteem the way a puppy needs affection — it’s not necessary for physical growth and development, but it infuses vitality and purpose into the experience of living.
Your current abilities are built on qualities you already have. These qualities are not fixed to any single activity. They can be transferred. For example, if you’re diligent in brushing your teeth, you’ve already got attention-to-detail, focus, and goal-driven motivations.
Do you see how these attributes already exist inside you, ready to be applied to another area of your life?
You can find solid evidence of how you cross-use your abilities all the time. Simply look at everything you do in your normal everyday life and see which qualities are coming through each time.
You’ll notice patterns and you’ll start to wonder how mind chatter makes you forget that you can cross-use your abilities.
It’s funny how we all have qualities we no longer recognize in ourselves, but we can often recognise and admire the very same qualities in someone else!
Next time your mind chatter creates hallucinations of doom, remind yourself you have a massive vault of resources inside that you can draw on at will. You can deal with it.