Originally published at www.nikihennessy.com.au on June 8, 2017.
Lately I’ve been getting a whole lotta comparisonitis — that nasty condition that likes to compare and contrast everything everyone else is doing with where you are.
Social media is the most amazing trigger for comparisonitis — you get to see the highest of the highs that everyone else is achieving, the beautifully filtered pics of big wins, lux’ lifestyles, champagne and business class.
Aaaannd then you look around at the piles of laundry all over your kitchen table, the baby food splattered across the side of the bench that you hadn’t noticed before (and god knows how long it’s been there), the huge list of things you really want to be working on but haven’t been able to touch for days because you’ve got a day job/ a bubba/ business admin that needs attention/ a family to look after/ health issues/ tonnes of day-to-day stuff that always seems to overtake things.
And all that comparison, all those contrasts that you perceive between where you stand, how much progress you’ve made, the things you’ve achieved, and where you want to be — where everyone else appears to be — is like a flashing neon sign drawing all those nasty limiting beliefs to it like mosquitoes.
So then the soundtrack usually goes something along the lines of “I’m not …something… enough”. You can fill in the blank with whatever that inner mean girl voice whispers to you — smart, pretty, deserving, thin, funny, kind, good — some variant of the ‘not enoughs’ that plague every single one of us.
It’s like your own personal radio station tuned in to the shittiest playlist going round. That voice in your head is vicious, cruel and callous, but here’s the thing — it’s not true.
That nasty mean girl wants you to stay small, because small is safe, small doesn’t have to push boundaries or be challenged or step up into the spotlight.
Comparison is fuel to her fire. It’s her backup, her ammunition to help convince you that what she’s saying is true.
Limiting beliefs run deep, they can be powerful and tricky to change — but they can be changed! And the first step, the one thing that will start you on your way to countering everything that little mean girl voice is saying is recognising that she’s there and what tune she’s humming.
Acknowledge it, then turn down the volume by taking away her ammo’ and ditching the comparison triggers.
Easier said than done when you’re building your brand and utilising social media as a key tool to do it, right?
So let’s defuse it with a loving little reminder — what you see on social media is not the full picture. Not ever!
What you see on someone else’s Instagram or Facebook is only what they choose to share.
No matter how honest or raw or real — it is curated content.
It’s been selected.
It’s been chosen.
Which means it’s not all of it. You can’t see the full perspective, it’s not possible to see the full perspective through a social media post. Especially as we flick through a jam-packed feed.
Don’t compare your ‘behind the scenes’ with someone else’s ‘showreel’.
Don’t let comparisonitis trigger your inner mean girl, lovingly but firmly put her back in her box and turn down the volume on those limiting beliefs.
Don’t let fear keep you playing small — it’s time to let that light shine. Do ‘you’ the way only you can; you’re on your own journey, so keep following your own beautiful path.
Originally published at medium.com