The way to do is to be. -Lao Tzu. In today’s perfect storm of Pandemic, it is a high time we think about our emotional health first and just not measure our intellect as we did yesterday!
In the world of AI and supercomputers, we have well-developed IQ. We can code the best of programs, decode the genes, and achieve noble degrees. But how about our EI?
Let’s begin by understanding key questions, to gain some brief insights into Emotional Intelligence.
What does Emotional Quotient mean?
Emotional intelligence is defined by psychologists Peter Salovey and John D. Mayer, two of the leading scholars, as the capacity to perceive and appreciate emotions in self and others.
Why do we need to thrive our Emotional Quotient?
Emotional intelligence lets us create better relationships, excel in college and work, and fulfill our professional and personal objectives. It will also help us connect with our thoughts, transform intent into action, and make meaningful choices about what is most important to us.
The Emotional Quotient stands on four pillars
The emotional quotient has four crucial components, that defines it. Emotional Quotient of any individual can be accessed by weighing out these factors.
- Self Awareness: The first step for developing emotional intelligence starts with self. Knowing what you think, what forms your thoughts, how you feel, and how to co-relate thoughts into actions.
- Self-management: Building thoughts into actions, managing emotions, and so on.
- Social awareness: It’s about understanding other’s emotions, needs, and dynamics within.
- Relationship management: Developing and maintaining relationships and managing work dynamics.
It all starts with Self Awareness
The American Psychological Association describes self-awareness as “the consequences of focusing attention on the self.”
It is not just about understanding our strengths but also about acknowledging our shortcomings. Thus, self-awareness is knowing how you feel and why you have that emotion.
“No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.”
Buddha
Self Awareness is not just about our own thought process but the capacity to perceive, interpret and respond to others’ emotions as well.
Speak Out Your Emotions
From the cradle of learning, we are taught not to cry, always keep a smile and shine bright like a star. We have been told that laughter is the best medicine, yes indeed it is! But what about sadness?
You hear that, anger is bad and that feeling negative, is way worse. It’s untrue. Rage is normal, and it’s normal to feel negative emotions as well.
“Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways”.
Sigmund Freud
So, our logical brain starts to learn not to feel negative. And if our conscious mind feels these gloomy emotions, we try to surpass and suppress them. Embrace those negative emotions too and think it’s okay not to be okay!
Attempting to deny, declining by will, or regulating by justification will work briefly, but eventually, it will fail.
Map Your Own Thoughts
Having said, self-awareness is the first pillar of developing an emotional quotient, mapping your own thoughts is the base of that pillar!
Thoughts often reflect a person’s present state of mind. That said, it means your thoughts often take the road, wheeled by how you feel at that very moment.
So, for analyzing why a particular event or a person made you optimistic or pessimistic towards them, we have to remember what was the sequence of our thoughts.
Tip: Journaling your thoughts or views on the event or a day, will let you get insights about what you feel is transient or persistent.
Self Awareness is to Board your Own State of Mind
Move past the idea of think in present and don’t lament on the past! That’s perfectly fine if we hover more in past, worry about the future, and then realize oh, we are here!
That’s fine if no one taught you to be self-aware, which means we can find ourselves dwelling in past. We are still self-aware of our state of mind, that it is past, thinking and feeling the hurt or the love.
Living in the moment is not what self-awareness is all about. Self-awareness is the constant voyage of feeling and expressing your emotions. And it’s okay if these emotions were from the past or the unforeseen future.
Start with you and rest everything follows
The first step to build an emotional quotient is to be YOU! It is as simple as being us! An easy piece of advice to BE given and written, then to be! We should feel our thoughts, express our emotions, and speak out what we feel.
We might not fit in a good book of someone for a time, but we will surely feel light-hearted and will be conscious of our being!