Let’s talk about preference versus judgment.
Imagine I have a glass of water sitting here in front of me and I say, “I like my water cold with lots of ice.” And somebody else may say, “That’s stupid. You like ice in your water? You’re frickin stupid.” Why is that stupid?
We judge all the time based on our preferences. Sure, we prefer certain things, but then we project those preferences onto everyone else.
We feel the need to control our environment. It’s purely instinctual. But if we use guilt and shame to impact our environment in ways that we feel will serve us – and hurt others in the process – that’s abusive. If we use coercion and try to trick people into getting them to do what we want them to do, that’s manipulation.
There are 7.7 billion unique individuals on this planet with us. As soon as we can get all of them to be exactly who we are, and see things exactly the way we see them and make them feel the way we want them to feel, we will have all of this figured out.
Life gets better when we let others voluntarily evolve – when we allow people to have their own lives. It doesn’t mean we need to be with them or in the same room or share space with them. They need to be able to be themselves and live the life of their dreams while we’re living ours.
Sure, this takes a lot of work. But, aren’t we all worth it?
For me, I was willing to do the inner work. I was willing to develop new habits – wake up early, meditate, physically move, and sweat. Start a brand new routine that you can practice every single day. I started mine four years ago, and I still practice it daily.
Four years ago, I was a 300-pound suicidal alcoholic and I thought I had it all figured out. That was before my life completely collapsed. There was a narcissistic angry guy inside of me trying to convince everybody else that I had it figured out when my whole life was crumbling. From the experience in my own life, I have realized that the worse off we are, the more judgmental we are. When we release that judgment, life gets better. Life gets easier.
Life got easier for me.
Today, I am leading myself powerfully, and I have found success and happiness.
Let go of expectations and judgments. Let go of how you see others in the role that you think they are supposed to play in your life.
And just let them voluntarily evolve.
Life will be so much easier. I promise you.