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Let’s Talk About Approaching 30

Here's to aging like fine wine

Do you ever catch yourself asking, “what happened to the time?!” and “how am I almost 30 already?!” SAME. I feel like being 30 means I am supposed to have my career, husband, children, and a house already. I am not there yet but I’ve realized that’s ok! We live in a different time and I honestly not one of my friends are checking off all those boxes right now.

To all my ladies out there who are feeling uneasy as the big 3-0 approaches, just know that if you are evolving, and growing, and working towards your dreams, then you are on the right track. Also remember that when you age like a fine wine it means you’re becoming more refined, more poised, more tasteful, and you’ll feel more of the richness of life. This age is a glorious time and we need to revel in it a bit more. Here’s why.

Nearing 30 means having a deeper understanding of your purpose. Being 20 means sitting in an office trying to figure out what you want to do with your life and working instead towards helping others fulfill their dreams. Approaching 30 means having an understanding of what you want to do in life and making efforts towards achieving that goal. Maybe your dream is to climb up the corporate ladder and you are on your way up. Maybe you’re in graduate school and working towards your academic goals so you can reach new career heights when you’re out. Maybe you’ve started your business on the side while keeping the day job. Or maybe at this point you’ve quit your job and you are building your own company full-time. With time and a deeper sense of self comes a mission to fulfill your purpose. As I approach 30, I am seeing more and more of my friends doing that, and it’s a beautiful thing.

Nearing 30 means not looking to men for validation. When I was 21 years old, I would look everywhere for validation. I would take a walk down the street just so that I could feel better about myself by a compliment from a stranger. I would go out to parties just so that I would be sought after. The most troubling was that I determined my worth by how much a man valued me. This, to be frank, was absolutely ludicrous! As silly as this may sound, I had to learn that I should know my worth regardless of who I am dating or how I look one day! Additionally, who you are as a person and what you contribute to the world is far more important than the passersby who throw you a compliment to feed their own masculinity.

Nearing 30 means caring more about being entirely true to who I am, and far less about what others think I ought to be. In my early twenties, I would be afraid to oppose someone else’s views because I wanted to act in a way that I thought was acceptable to others. As I’ve gotten older I’ve grown more of a voice. And sometimes that voice is one that others don’t agree with, but I’ve stopped caring. Don’t get me wrong, having a good reputation and being a bit of a people pleaser is still important to me, but I do that whilst remaining true to myself. I am open to having discussions with people that don’t agree with me, I am open to hearing opposing viewpoints, and I think that my opinion simply adds color to the world.

Nearing 30 means not doing as much bitch work for others. One of the biggest treasures of getting older is not having to constantly take orders but having more of a seat at the table. Whether it be at a firm or through becoming your own boss, one has more of a voice because with age comes experiences that make you more of a force to be reckoned with in the working world.

Nearing 30 means knowing what you want in a significant other. When I was 20 years old, all I cared about were emotions. All that I thought that was important was how much I loved the person because love conquered all. With time I learned that love is one essential component to an entire bundle of qualifications for a sustainable relationship. In addition to love, there’s gotta be mutual respect, shared values, sensibility, compassion and emotional stability. Something that I especially did not realize when I was younger was how important it is to be with someone who makes me laugh. I am with someone who is honestly so funny that I cannot be in a bad mood with him for more than 5 minutes because he makes me laugh so hard. (This is annoying yet cute, cant even lie)

Nearing 30 means being more of a better person. Each day I try and reflect on my actions and think to myself, “what could I have done to be a better person today.” Then I act on that information to actually be a better person. I like to think that this means that 30-year-old me is a much better version of 20-year-old me. I find that I am kinder, less selfish, more willing to help others, less emotionally erratic, more reasonable, less bitchy, more real, and more understanding of others. Can I get an amen!

Nearing 30 means taking better care of yourself. Since I am getting older, I know how important it is to take care of myself from the inside out. I’ve always been a stickler for heating healthy and working out, but I find that now that I am nearing 30, I am not as young and resilient as I once was. Therefore, I’ve gotta take action to really nourish my body, mind, and soul so that I am operating optimally. As I approach 30, I am trying new beauty tools and tricks, drinking more water and wine (it’s good for you!), moisturizing, doing daily yoga, meditation and exercise. Here’s to eternal youth!

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Originally published at melamodalife.com

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