When we experience traumatic life events such as; illness, divorce, loss of a loved one, bankruptcy, and family conflicts, we tell ourselves stories to survive.
Unfortunately, the stories our minds create often cast us in the victim’s role, making us helpless bystanders in the events unfolding in our lives.
Then, we get stuck in our stories and are held hostage by a myriad of draining emotions like resentment, betrayal, anger, sadness, and so much more!
Left unresolved, this state of being can lead to a life long detachment from our authentic nature and life’s purpose, limiting our ability to experience happiness and fulfilment in our present lives.
But it doesn’t have to be that way.
There’re effective ways through which you can cultivate your innate power to heal old wounds and breakthrough self-limiting stories and beliefs that have kept you stuck in the past.
And following are 6 tips that can help you re-create your life, so that you’re no longer the victim but the survivor of your past experiences.
1. Make a vow to let your past go
Research shows, that making an oath to perform a behaviour increases the likelihood that the action will be executed. Therefore, write your own letting go of the past vow, which could be as simple as ” I’m letting go of the past so I can create the phenomenal future I envision for myself.” and post it somewhere where you will be reminded of it every day.
2. Release all toxic people from your life
“Letting go means to come to the realization that some people are a part of your history, but not a part of your destiny. ”Steve Maraboli– leading voice in the fields of Business, Peak Performance Mindset, and Human Behaviour.
There comes a time in life when it is essential to release all harmful relationships so that you can continue to deepen your search for the mean of your life without hindrance.
3. Release your negative emotions in a healthy way
There’re many self-help systems available today, to help us deal with emotional upheavals, but few are as accessible and low-cost as writing.
“Writing about stressful situations is one of the easiest ways for people to take control of their problems and release negative effects of stress from their bodies and their lives.”James Pennebaker, PhD, leading researcher on the connection between writing and better health.
Try this Expressive writing exercise for the next 4 days and experience the liberating effects of pouring your emotions out on paper
For the next four days, you will write nonstop for twenty minutes each time about your deepest thoughts and feelings about a trauma or emotional upheaval that has been keeping you awake at night.
In your writing, really let go and explore this event and how it has affected your life. You can write about the same event on all four days or about different events each day. Once you begin writing, write without stopping. Don’t censor yourself, or concern yourself with writing conventions such as grammar, spelling, etc,. This is personal writing, no one is going to read what you will be writing.
The main purpose of this exercise is to help you analyze what lies in the depths of your heart, try to understand it and let it go, so you can get on with your life.
4. Forgive your past
As long as you continue to hold on to old grudges, you remain a prison of your past. It’s time to re-create your story, so that you’re not the victim of your experiences, but the survivor.
Easier said than done I know, but the only true way to a peaceful and joyful life.
Forgiving those who hurt you, doesn’t mean that you’re condoning their actions and behaviours. It’s setting yourself free from narratives of the past, that no longer bear influence on the decisions of your life.
5. Be grateful for your journey so far
We get caught up in our day to day struggles and forget to give thanks for the gift of life, that is allowing us to still be here. Let all that you’ve overcome, and your life today, remind you of how far you have come, and before you go to bed tonight, say thank you to the universe for always having your back.
6. Trust the Universe
Whatever you are going through right now, know that it will pass. Nothing lasts for ever, and it’s only our attachment, craving, aversion, and ignorance that create our suffering.
Trust that you’re not alone, that the universe is guiding you, and that if what you seek to achieve is in alignment with the greater good of humankind, it will manifest in your life. But until then, cultivate mindfulness in everything you do, so that you can in time, come to realize that whatever you have gone through, was leading you to the path of ultimate wisdom which raises above the dictates of pleasure and pain.