We have heard this saying before. We have heard this word before. And many times, it becomes part of the process of labeling strong and high-powered women as, wait for it, difficult. Now, there are a few characteristics which comprises you to be selected into the “difficult woman” hall of fame. Before we get into that, let’s go on a journey and think about this for a minute. According to Merriam-Webster, the term difficult is defined as the following: 1. hard to do, make, or carry out; 2. hard to deal with, manage, or overcome; and 3. hard to understand: PUZZLING. Transition to Dictionary.com, we end up with these definition of the term difficult: 1. not easily or readily done; requiring much labor, skill, or planning to be performed successfully; hard 2. hard to understand or solve 3. hard to deal with or get on with 4. hard to please or satisfy 5. hard to persuade or induce; stubborn 6. disadvantageous; trying; hampering. So, in a terse amount of words, the term difficult translates as “not easy.”
So, now that we have our understanding of “difficult” and “difficulty” squared, let’s enter into the world of those “difficult women.” You can often spot those “difficult women.” One very obvious characteristic is that they are nobody’s “pushover.” That’s right. They’re “not easy.” Difficult women will not allow you to play games, mess around, or disrespect their work, ideas, and overall womanhood. You can’t sweet talk them into getting something at work. You don’t get to come into her life, with intentions, that you are going to have things easy, and waiting for you. Not these “difficult women.” Nope! They are not impressed with your charms. Don’t try to butter them up with artificial margerine. You will melt quickly. These type of dames can smell game. And, they know when you are bullsh****** them. Don’t even try your luck.
Our “difficult dames” will not permit you to demean their worth. They know when you attempt to cheapen their worth and contribution to any team, company, or entity. Manipulation of their emotions, and miscontruing words, in attempts to guilt-trip them in not falling for your B.S., won’t work. So, if you think you are going to work them more, in order to pay them less, think again. They will call you out, and WITH A QUICKNESS! And, after you are chewed out, you are left with your own personal humiliation.
Another phenomenal attribute of our “Difficult Women” is that they know their Worth! They realize that they are of high-value. And whether it is of relationships, work affiliation, or fellow colleagues, you wil not conform them to your low standards. Either you elevate, and measure up, or you measure out. But, you don’t get to come into their world, and spread your pollution; simply because cleaning up the environment takes too much work. You better to be willing to get your hands dirty, if you are going to even sniff a scent of their world. #REALTALK!
And finally, our Ladies of Difficulty, aspire to excellence! You will not get them to accept mediocrity. Not in any way, shape, or size! It’s not possible. Forget reaching the starts, they aspire to the heavens. Ditto for finances, resources, performing well on high quality projects, pushing fellow co-workers to do better, romantic love, and going above and beyond the call of duty! In the simplest of terms. . .you betta’ step it up. They are not playing with you and they truly came to slay.
One of the common misconceptions of our “difficult women” is that they are cold, mean, or cruel. Unfortunately, when you are a “difficult dame,” these stereotypes are often placed on you. Just because a woman is difficult doesn’t mean that she is unkind. On the contrary, she is a realist. She knows that the world is full of fake people. She will not fall victim to that. However, if you are genuine, on most occassions, she will warm up to you. “Difficult dames” are often perceived as “selfish.” Let it be known that many have generous hearts. They just won’t be taken advantaged of. And, contrary to popular perception, many difficult dames are very sensitive. Yes! Don’t allow that supposedly hardened mask fool you. They can cry like babies, and will be very open with you on their limitations. They strive to take care of. . .self! Yet, once you have earned their trust, you can group them in the category of loyalty.
With all of these negative connotations placed on our difficult queens, its shameful that many of us (especially, younger dames) don’t sit back, with our pad in hand, to take notes. They have SO MUCH to offer. For one, they propel you out of your comfort zone! Yes! In case you don’t know, comfort is dangerous. And, who says that excellence is a bad thing? When you are forced to aim higher, you discover things about yourself, unknown to you. You learn about your strength. The discovery of hidden talents comes into play.
When you come face-to-face with a “difficult” woman, she is a reminder of that inner “difficult dame” in us all. She forces us to value ourselves more. And, let’s make it clear, there is a difference between a difficult woman and a hateful one. Yes, folks, there is a big difference!
The sad thing about our “difficult dames” is that they are everything that men are allowed to be. Its their energy that makes companies grow and get those million or billion-dollar bonuses. Its their energy, which keeps office co-workers on the top of their game. Their presence is not without error. In fact, they have made many mistakes. They have failed numerous times. And, yet, they get back in there and. . . fight! (Not literally, of course. Though, I’m sure they won’t back down from one, if you decide to provoke them). Preserverance is key! And secretly, its why they are loved and envied. These difficult women will transform a man from a player to a lover, who respects her. She expects more. And, eventually, she will get it!
So, what do you say? That positive list of “difficult women” looks rather long. Not the “evil” or “arrogant”women, they are presented to be, are they? In fact, they are what we should all aspire to be. They are teachers, and have mastered the art of womanhood, and maneuvering through it. Let’s move into an arena, where being difficult will serve as a positive; especially, as women. Difficulty takes certain skills. And, if you have those skills, or pushing to hone them, then connecting with a “difficult woman” should be no problem. Should it?
Claim that inner, “difficult woman.”Embrace her. From your superior, fellow, co-worker, or friend, give her thumbs up. Hug her. Let her know that her aspirations push you to greater heights. And, if someone decides to call you “difficult” as a negative, turn around, bow your head, and say. . .thank you! That’s one of the best complements you could ever receive!