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Leisse Wilcox on How She Learned to Love Herself (and How You Can, Too)

You must be here looking for advice on self-love. But before we get to it, Leisse Wilcox wants to tell you that you already have everything you need to love yourself and be happy. Within you is all the support you’ll ever need to grow into the person you want to be. If that’s so, […]


You must be here looking for advice on self-love. But before we get to it, Leisse Wilcox wants to tell you that you already have everything you need to love yourself and be happy. Within you is all the support you’ll ever need to grow into the person you want to be.

If that’s so, you might ask, then why do many people continue to feel lost and broken? If we are already complete, then why need to ask for help from others?

Leisse, a transformational mindset and success coach, says that many of us have built so many barriers that prevent us from feeling love and happiness, that we have lost touch with who we truly are by hiding behind our constant need to please other people.

“Adversity and traumatic experiences have hardened our hearts towards ourselves, destroyed our self-worth, and made us believe we’re unworthy of love,” she shares. “Trust me, I’ve been there myself.”

Life has been a rough road for Leisse: she endured an emotionally abusive childhood, lost her sister at 21, managed breast cancer and treatment (which included four months of aggressive chemo, total hair loss, and a double mastectomy at 36, and went through a divorce on top of that.

“Among all the difficult experiences I’ve had to go through, divorce was by far the hardest. With most types of pain, you’re allowed to process them in the open, but divorce continues to be taboo, and I had to process it mostly in silence, which feels like you’re adding a layer of shame. And when you think you’ve already healed completely, there it is again, the grief washing over you when you’re in the cereal aisle of Walmart,” she adds.

Leisse adds that societal expectations discourage women to accept themselves, and perpetuate the narrative of selflessness being a revered quality. “Women tend to assume the bulk of the emotional labor, carrying the weight for the people around them – often to the detriment to their own emotional health and well being. On top of that, there’s a sense that it will never be enough, and that ‘perfection’ is a moving – and completely unattainable – target” she says.

In order to combat that grief, Leisse realized the usual reaches to fill an emotional void just wouldn’t cut it. “When you look around and ask ‘how is this not enough for me,’ you tap into the awareness that nothing will be enough for you until you are enough for you.” 

Knowing that, Leisse realized that the decision to move forward in a healthy and productive way was entirely hers. “I knew I had to make these experiences my own, learn the lessons, forgive the ones who didn’t apologize…and show up as the woman I knew I was; I wanted to be a strong role model for my three girls, and so I started to lead by example.”

Along her journey to healing, Leisse discovered the healing power of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT). “My own process of healing certainly didn’t happen overnight, but these tools allowed me to take the ugly moments of my life into lessons that inspire me and lead me to my purpose. I cultivated peace within myself, and chose to use my wisdom and education to make a positive impact on others,” she says.

Today, Leisse helps others overcome their self-imposed barriers and limiting beliefs and come home to themselves with genuine self-acceptance, love, and happiness.

In her practice, Leisse blends the NLP and EFT in an approach she calls Emotional Alchemy. “I use my experiences as an entrepreneur, author, and trauma survivor to show others how they can get in touch with their authentic selves, and reach the success and self-love that they deserve,” she shares. Through this process, Leisse’s clients learn to ‘unlearn’ old and toxic patterns of belief and thought, and replace them with the beliefs, thoughts, and behaviors that reflect who they genuinely are. It is life long change, because it’s a process that teaches you to think differently about how you perceive what’s happening around you, in a completely safe and supportive environment.
Leisse invites high-potential women to become the vision of themselves they can’t stop thinking about, by having the courage to cultivate their own emotional intelligence. “Anyone can do this when they decide to do this. It’s so much easier – and a lot more fun – to have someone you trust at your side as you navigate the transition from self-loathe to self-love,” she adds. “Even the best of us can’t do it alone. Most of the time, all you need to do is ask for help. Help is the most powerful four-letter word.”

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